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21 day fast

Mister and I are starting our 21 day Daniels fast tomorrow. I’ve never done this before but Mister did a 10 day fast last year. Well I did a fb fast earlier this year but I’ve never done a food fast before.

**Don’t worry, I’m not putting my milk supply in harms way **

A Daniels fast isn’t about detoxing your body or a way to loose weight, though I’m sure most do. This fast is a spiritual fast.

To be honest, I’m a little nervous. Not sure what to expect but I’m sure the devil and his friends will be trying to discourage me or Mister or both.

I am going to dig deep and pray more and open myself up to & for God during these next 21 days. I don’t know if there is a wrong or right way to do all this during this specific fast, but my heart will be in it and I pray He knows that.

To be very honest and open with y’all, I’ve been having a really hard time with God and my faith. I’m not loosing my faith and I still stand strong on my beliefs, but I’m just having a very hard time. I have no idea why this is happening but I’m praying to get answers and direction from Him during this time.

The main reason why I’m sharing this journey with y’all is to ask that you keep us in your prayers over the next few weeks. I’m ready for a break through and change that only He can bring and make possible. I’ll be sharing with y’all how it’s goin cause I’m sure it’s not gonna be easy.

Here is a link if you would like more information about he Daniels fast. I would love to hear your experience if you have done this before.

I’m definitely looking forward to seeing what I learn and gain from this experience and seeing what God has to tell me.

More tomorrow!

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Week long fast – day 4 (09/01/12)

Today wasn’t good or bad…it just was.

I was busy catching up on some housework that I wasn’t able to get done these last couple of days. And then when Mister came home we went grocery shopping. I did do some thinking during my housework. Nothing big or important, more reflecting I guess you could say.

I don’t have anything exciting to type up today. With tomorrow being Sunday, I am sure that I will hear something at church that will sink in or I will hear something I need to hear. I usually do!

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Week long fast – day 3 (08/31/12)

I would have typed this up last night but I had a terrible headache.

Today, at one point, was worse than all day yesterday was. I didn’t get a chance to have a chat with satan, but I am going to. Well, let me rephrase that. I have been talking with him and God but not out loud. I dont know if it’s just me but saying something out loud makes it more real, important, personable.

Thank God for Emily! If you are reading this, thank you for everything! She is there for me every night when I text her to tell her how the day went. She is always encouraging and truthful.

I have wanted to give up so many times during these 3 days and it’s not just because I miss fb. It’s so hard to do something in the name of something when you can’t see it, smell it, taste it, hear it, or touch it. In those hard moments my faith starts to be in question. I know that it’s wrong and normal, but I need to stop doing it. Not because I will punished or a blessing won’t happen if my faith does sway, but because I need to stop reacting in those moments. I don’t want to say/do something I will regret later. I have done that way too many times in my life.

We have a very full house and I wish there was a room that I could go into so that I could just have some time to sit, think, talk, and write with no interruptions. It’s hard for me to think most days with everything that goes on around me. Yesterday when I was speaking with God, I was interrupted so many times…it gets annoying after awhile!

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Week long fast – day 2 (08/30/12)

Today was a little better than yesterday. I still had the urge to go on Facebook. The motion of doing it still wanted to take over but I didn’t! This is harder than I thought. As much as I want to give up – I will not!

Had another heart to heart with God today. It wasn’t as nice as yesterday. I was honest with Him with my feelings. Wait, I am always honest with Him with my feelings but not out loud. I have a fear of the Lord and I think that’s why I have never spoken to Him out loud. Not sure what the difference is because He knows my true feelings anyway. Things seem to be getting worse while on this fast. I think that I was naive when going into this fast. Thought things would turn around quickly and I would see/hear things change. Yea not happening like that.

I was talking with a really good friend of mine tonight about how today went (I have been texting her nightly since I started this fast) and she told me some things that I needed to hear. I love that she is honest with me about things and doesn’t just pat my back and tell me things will be ok. She told me that things will get worse and that I needed to speak to satan and tell him a few things. I agree with her very much and will be having a nice little chat with satan tomorrow afternoon. He will not win this! I will! And I am only winning because I have Jesus in my corner. I am nothing without Him and would loose everything if He weren’t with me.

Today has been an angry day for me. I am angry at a few things. I let God know how I was feeling and what I wanted Him to do. Now I know that He cannot do everything and that I have to take steps in order to do what He wants me to do and what I want for my family and life. I also know that He can tell where to go, who to talk to, and how to do all this. I am scared and nervous about all this. For one because it’s new to me and I feel silly talking to air. And second because I know that satan will want to attack me more because I am doing this and afraid of what satan will try to do. On the other hand I know that I have nothing to fear because God is with me….always! He will never let anything happen to me. I believe Gods promises.

I didn’t read during nap time today. I needed to have a pity party so I had it when my kiddos couldn’t see me. I am going to write in my prayer journal tonight and read more in Proverbs.

I will not give up. I will finish this fast. Something great will come out of this.

Thank you to those who are supporting, loving, and praying for me during this time. It’s definitely a growing period but I am also thinking that it is bringing me closer to God. Thank you 🙂

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Week long fast – day 1 (08/29/12)

It was weird. I have a certain routine when checking things online and with this fast, my routine is being interrupted. I kept feeling like something was missing and like I was forgetting to do something.
Last night I cleared my phone of all bookmarks and links and apps to get to Facebook. I even cleared my browsing history. I didnt want to have those laying around and I click out of habit.
Facebook is my main way to keep in touch with friends and family, so to not have that life line right now is really hard. I dont want to miss anything that someone might say or miss a chance to give advice or help someone out. But no matter what, all that news will be there when I log back in next week.

During nap time is when I sat down at talked to God…out loud. That is something I have never done before today. I felt alittle silly. I cried while talking but it felt so good to do that and I felt better afterwards. After our talk I read some of the Bible. Think I will do it this way everyday during nap time.

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Prayer journal

This is something that I try to write in every night. Sometimes I know who to pray for and others I make a status on my personal FB page asking if anyone has any prayer requests. Some nights I get a lot, a few, and nothing. I don’t know what it depends on and it doesn’t really matter. My ‘friends’ know that I write in this and they don’t have to wait until I post something in order for them to send me their request.

This is more of a ‘Thank you’ to everyone who has trusted me & sent me prayer requests. To some it’s not a big deal, but to others it is. It’s letting someone into a part of you that is vulnerable. It’s not always easy to open up to people. So I thank you for the bottom of my heart for trusting me! I hope that you continue to trust me. I always write every request that comes my way. I may not be able to do it right then, but I definitely gets written down.

I have had so many over the last couple of years that I have had to start a second journal! I love that! This isn’t about me at all, it’s all about Him. I am just the messenger. Just because someone sends me a request, doesn’t mean that their prayer will be answered. But what it does mean is that I am in agreement with them.

“I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it
will be done for you by my Father in heaven.  For where two or three come
together in my name, there am I with them.”                                    
                Matthew 18:19-20

I hope and pray that people continue to send their requests no matter what their belief, He hears you and doesn’t stop loving you just because you aren’t lined up with Him. You are His child and He wants you to prosper. And don’t just talk to Him when you need\want something, talk to Him all the time. It’s not about a religion, it’s about a relationship.

Again, thank you all so much for trusting me with your requests 🙂