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Mommie and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Yesterday evening was one of those days. I was just irritated with all of my children for their behavior. Their lack of respect for me. The fact that they took over an hour and a half to clean the living room, which isn’t that big to begin with. The fact that they whined about everything they were told to do.
They were able to play all day & do what they wanted. At 5pm yesterday is when I told them it was time to clean up the living room & kitchen area. All messes they made. I don’t know why they choose not to listen & clean up after themselves. I don’t know why I have to repeat myself several times a day, everyday. Aren’t they tired of hearing me yell!? Aren’t they tired of spending their free time cleaning up!? Aren’t they going to learn that if they pick up as they go then they won’t have to spend their free time cleaning!? Don’t they get it!?

Wait! Don’t I get it?! Don’t I get that my approach hasn’t been working?! Don’t I get that by me yelling isn’t accomplishing anything productive!? Don’t I get that maybe I should try something different with them?! Don’t I get that my way of doing things isn’t their way of doing things!? They are 4 (Kiddo #5 isn’t really old enough right now, though I am trying with her) different people who think, act, process, and do things 4 different ways.

This isn’t some ‘ah ha’ moment that I had for the first time yesterday. It’s something that I have known for awhile but haven’t learned to change my behavior in these moments. I can think clearly afterwards but I cannot go back and change the damage that I have already caused. I need to learn how to fix my approach and attitude before I can even begin to think that my children will change theirs. It starts with me. I am the example for these 5 children. If I react with rage, anger, hurtful words, & chaos…why in the world would I think that they would react any differently than me!?

If I want them to act differently towards me than I need to be the one to show them how to treat me. This concept isn’t new and is clearly stated in the Bible: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets”, Matthew 7:12 NIV.
So if it spells it out clearly how I should treat others, why do I think that my way would work better than the Bible!? I am crazy to even think that would work! I need to get my head on straight and start living what I believe.

I haven’t stopped thinking about this since I kept replaying the evening in my head. It had been bothering me. It has been sitting heavy on my heart. Usually when this happens, I think about it, say I am going to change, and then fall back into the same trap. This time feels differently within me. I am ready to change my ways in order to show my children how to treat people. Just because I (or any of them) get upset with someone, doesn’t mean that my actions/words are justified. I need to remain calm & think before I speak and act. Mmmmm, sounds like something that I tell my children. Maybe I should start practicing what I am preaching!?

Today is a new day.
Today I start over.
Today I have already messed up.
That’s ok.
I can still start over and not have to wait for a new day.
I can start over in a new hour, 1/2 hour, & minute.
I need to take things slowly.
I need to think before I speak. If that means that I listen to what my children have to tell me and then tell them that I need to think about it before I deal with the situation, then that’s what I need to do. I need to be more aware of what I am projecting. I need to be intentional about my actions and words. I am the example. If I want our family to live & be different than the world, then it starts with me. I cannot expect my wants for my family to happen if I cannot show, not just tell, them how to act & speak.

It starts with me.
It starts today.

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Thankful Tuesday 06/25/13

(It’s late I know!)

This week I am thankful for friends who drop everything they are doing and come to take me to the ER, sit with me for a few hours, take my 5 kiddos to their house for more hours, let us chill their for more hours, and then buy us dinner.

I was feeling like complete poo this day and it was nice to have friends that we can lean on when we needed it. Thank you all so much for everything!

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Life with 5!

Isn’t as crazy as I thought it would be but I haven’t really been out of the house with all 5 & if I am, Mister is always with me. Now my statement might change once school & life kinda gets back to ‘normal’…whatever that is 😉

I definitely have my moments when I feel overwhelmed because more than one kiddo is crying and I can’t just pause life to fix each problem one at a time. I haven’t mastered walking & breastfeeding so there are some things that get pushed back until I am finished feeding Lily. I know it’s going to take some time to get into the groove of having 5 kiddos and everything that goes along with it. I am just thankful that it’s summer time & I don’t have to worry about getting any kiddos from school or things like that.

Evenings are more crazier than they were before but that’s to be expected with 5. And we are officially full to the max in our truck….we cannot fit anymore bodies in that thing! The good thing is that we still have room for groceries and anything that we need to bring with us. Thank goodness our trunk area is a good size!

Life is pretty good right now, crazy- yes, but well worth it. Like I said before….it won’t be a problem coming up with things to post about, it’s coming up with the time 🙂

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PP Week 1 & 2

I wanted to wait until I got Lily’s birth story up before I started posting postpartum updates.
These updates will be about both Lily & I.

Lily:
Lily is doing so good! When she was born she was 7lbs 11oz when we went to her 1 week check up, she was 7lbs 5oz. Her dr doesn’t think that she will have any problem being past her birth weight when we go back on Monday.
Breastfeeding started out great (like it always does) and then I hit that rough patch that I always do. I don’t know why I start out good and then something happens & it all just goes down hill from there. I have tried breastfeeding all my kiddos & it has never worked out. So because of that I was determined to make it work with Lily. When she was a few days old & I was having a rough moment trying to breastfeed her, I literally cried out to God telling Him that I just wanted to feed my child without running into all these problems & for Him to please help me! I am sitting here telling you that I haven’t had any problems since that night! I cannot express to you how happy & excited I am about that! She is 2 weeks old today & we are both going strong in that area! Breastfeeding in public is something that I am still getting used to but it’s definitely working out!

Lily is a champ at pooping! She has had one blow out diaper but, apparently, that is a good sign! I started out using disposable (just using up what the hospital gave us) before I started using cloth. Now keep in mind that I have never used cloth diapers on a newborn. I wasn’t aware of how much more you have to change the diapers…which in turn means that I am doing diaper laundry pretty much everyday! No biggie though….I would much rather wash diaper than buy them. She looks so cute in them too!!!

Over all, Lily is doing excellent & there is nothing that isn’t perfect about her 🙂

Mommie:
Keep in mind this was my first csection.
The first week I was sore and I had this muscle that would start to burn when I was standing too long and I would cry and need help walking & sitting. The help that was supposed to be there during the day, ended up not working out. So that means that I was home alone with all 5 kiddos 2 days after I came home from the hospital. I did better than I thought, but I was in pain & exhausted by the end of every day. Towards the end of the first week, I was doing much better. This second week is going much smoother. That muscle pain is gone & I am not as sore. I am able to do a lot more too: bending over, sitting without pain, walking without pain. I am so thankful that my body is healing much faster than I thought it would. I literally thought that I would be out of commission for a few weeks.
I am not one to just sit around after having a baby and/or recovering from surgery. I have always been that way & I think that my body heals faster/better that way. This is just me and how my body is. Hopefully all will be cleared when I go back in July for a follow-up.
Emotionally, I am doing better than I think I have after any birth. I have my moments when I am going crazy but nothing that I can’t handle! The other kiddos are a great help when I need it and are willing to help out too! I am very thankful for that!

I am posting these pictures because once I am cleared I want to start working out (something that I was getting ready to do until I found out I was pregnant). Plus I am in shock that my body looks like it does! I am able to fit into pants that I couldn’t fit into before I was pregnant. So, needless to say I am pretty excited about that! So here are weeks 1 & 2 PP!

Week 1 PP
Taken on 061412


Week 2 PP
Taken on 062112

So that’s it for right now….or at least what I can think of 🙂
Will make Week 3  update next Thursday!