Praying for the family

We hear & ask this of people all the time. When something happens to someone we always want to send prayer chains & requests for these people. Most of the time we are asking this for loved ones & sometimes we hear about a person/family that we don’t know but pray for them anyway. Please keep in mind that as I talk about this subject, I am not talking about people who are sick, a natural disaster happened to them, or something that a human didn’t cause.

Though we should pray for those people going through those things I listed above, we also need to pray for those who cause harm/trouble to others. I know that this may seem foreign to most but it’s what we are supposed to do. We tend to just pray for those who are affected by others…not pray for those who caused the problem. I know that in our eyes there are levels of sin, but in reality sin is sin. There is no worse than…no grading scale. They are all the same in God’s eyes.

We are to pray for our enemies. Those who hurt us. Those who do wrong to us.

Matthew 5:43-45
43“You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR and hate your enemy.’ 44“But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven; for He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.…

That is & can be a very hard pill to swallow. No one wants good things to come to those who do us wrong. No one wants to pray for those people who hurt our loved ones. It’s not natural for our emotions to go this way. Our first & natural reaction is to hate this person & wish nothing but bad and even worse things on them.

Just because something comes natural to us doesn’t it mean that it’s always the right thing to do.
When something happens to us, a loved one, or a complete stranger, we need to remember to show/offer grace and forgiveness. Is this easy? Absolutely not! It’s one of the hardest things that I have ever done in my life. I don’t want to forgive those who have done wrong to us or who have lied to us.
It does me & my soul no good though to be this way towards those people.
I have had to take steps to get to this point. And so will you. This isn’t something that can happen right away. Maybe it can for some people but most people need time to get to this point.

When someone does someone else wrong (no matter what they have done….lied or killed) we need not only pray for the victims but also the person that has committed the wrong. We tend to forget that we are all human & all very much capable of doing what those on the news do. It’s all about what choices you make. The ‘bad guy’ may not  realize it but they want to be forgiven and given another chance. We all do when we do something wrong. No matter what wrong you have done, you want someone to give you another chance. Just because your mistake was different than the person you just read about or heard about on the news, makes them no different than you.

I am sure that there are many people out there that will disagree with me. That’s ok. I’m not asking people to agree with me. I am asking that you show grace to those who do wrong….no matter their wrong. We all make mistakes. We all do things that are wrong. Show everyone the same grace and compassion that you want. Remember, one sin isn’t worse than another.

Not only do we tend to not even give the bad guy a second look but we tend to over look their families as well. Just because someone does something doesn’t mean their family agrees with it or even knew their loved one could do such a thing. We have to not only pray for the victims & the bad guy(s) but also their families. I can’t imagine a family member doing something to affect so many & then be shunned just for being related to that person. There is no need to punish the family of the ‘bad guy’.

I am in no way saying the ‘bad guy’ shouldn’t be punished by law because he/she absolutely should! But we need to pray for them more than anything. Pray for a change of their heart. Everything that people produce comes from the heart….good & bad. It’s a heart issue & nothing more.

I don’t ask that you agree with me. I ask that the next time you hear or read about someone doing something awful to another person that you just stop and pray for that person. We don’t know their battle. Pray for their heart.


How bizarre?!

Mister- “Don’t freak out but something happened at work.”

[Men, please do NOT call your wife and say this to her. Not only does it not make us calm but it makes us very nervous for what you are about to say!]

What I heard after that statement I honestly never thought that I would hear nor did I even think that it was possible for something like this to happen in the field that Mister works in.
Mister is a mechanic at a dealership in the town that we live in. He’s great at what he does and has always been careful. Nothing serious has ever happened to him while he’s been on the job. Nothing more than a few cuts and/or scrapes.

On this morning I don’t think that I have ever been so scared/unsure/nervous for Mister than I was during this phone call.
Mister was working under the hood of this car & had to squeeze his hand in a very tight space. I am sure he didn’t think twice about doing this as he’s done this at least a million times before.
Once he put his hand in this space he felt a prick in his hand & pulled out his hand to see what pricked him. I am sure that he never would have thought in a million years that he would find what he did.

A used syringe needle.

Yes, you read that correctly. When he pulled his hand out from the hood of this car, there was a needle sticking out from the palm of his hand. He immediately pulled it out & went to his boss. Not knowing what the needle was used for, they sent him straight to a local drs office. His boss also called the police to have the needle tested for any drugs. The drs office gave him a tetanus shot & drew blood to have it tested. The dr also gave him a prescription for a drug that HIV patients take as a precaution. That in itself is scary to hear! The dr also made Mister an appointment with an infectious disease doctor for the later part of May

I received this phone at about 9am. He gets to work about 8am.

At this point, all we could do was wait to hear what the results were for everything.

He didn’t hear anything about the needle until about 3pm.

The needle tested positive for heroin.
What?! How does this happen?

Misters boss called the owners of the car (I don’t know the time frame of this) and they had admitted that their son was a heroin addict. He was/is currently at a rehab center in Houston & had been there for 4 months already. Since he was at a rehab center, they test the patients. As of right now, this guy isn’t positive for anything. Which doesn’t exactly mean anything. I’ve heard that people can have things show up on their blood tests many years down the road. We are just praying that nothing shows up on his tests….ever!

Between the time that this happened & the infectious disease doctor, nothing was going on with Mister. He didn’t feel any different and wasn’t getting sick. Good deal!

Jump to his appointment.

This doctor gave him a new prescription to take. Took more blood work, which will be tested every so often at a lab in Dallas to make sure nothing shows up in his blood. He has to take this medication for at least 30 days. It can cause vivid dreams & dizziness. (That’s all I can think of, Mister is currently napping). He started taking them this past Friday night. He thought it would be smart to take them at night & not when he had to work the next day. *Smart man* He is experiencing dizziness to the point that he has to stop what he is doing and regain his balance and sense of direction. He’s going to let his boss know tomorrow about this just in case it happens at work. He says that when he takes this medicine, he feels drunk & drugged all at the same time. He was actually slurring his words yesterday from it.
He will need to have his blood checked every 3 months for the next year to make sure nothing shows up on these tests. I am not sure what the dr wants him to do after this first month of taking this medicine.

Besides the few side effects from the medicine, Mister is doing just fine. Thank God!
I will update on what is going on, even if it’s nothing, once this first 30 days of medicine is taken and/or after he talks with the dr again after this round of meds.

Prayers are very much appreciated during this time. It is still full of uncertainty but we also know who is in control. We are at peace with whatever the outcome will be from this accident. We aren’t letting this effect our lives in anyway and carry on like it didn’t happen. There are a few precautions that need to be taken at certain times & we are doing so.

Will update in about 30 days on what happened this last month and what the dr has said.


Thankful Thursday 05/29/14

[Again, late with the posts but what are you going to do!?]


I am thankful for strangers turning into acquaintances.
Acquaintances that turned into friends.
Friends who turned into family.

We have never had friends like we have friends now. We have never had friends who want to take our kiddos and spend time with them. We have never had friends who went above & beyond just because they loved us and wanted to.

This is a new concept for Mister and I.
We have also never lived close enough to family where they could watch them or take them if they wanted to whenever the grandparents wanted to. The closest is now with my mom & step dad. They live about an hour away (which is the closest we’ve lived to family in many years) but because of busy schedules on both sides, it’s been hard to get together as often as we would like.

When our friends say that they want to take our kiddos or even just 1 kiddo, I am always a bit hesitant. Not because I don’t trust the person or because I don’t want to share my kiddo but because I don’t want our friends to think it’s something they have to do or anything along those lines. I know they wouldn’t offer if they didn’t want to. Like I said, we have never had friends who wanted to take our kiddo and spend time with them or keep them overnight.

I hope I am explaining this the way that I want/feel & it comes across the way that I want it to.

I am so thankful for friends like this in our life. Not only does it give me & Mister a bit of a break but (most importantly) it’s building relationships with these special people with/for our kiddos. I know that they so enjoy their times with these people & look forward to their time with them. Even if it’s just playing at the park with them.

I didn’t have this growing up as a kiddo and am so thankful that my kiddos have this in theirs. I will never be able to express how thankful I am for these friends that have turned into family.

It may not take a village to raise a kiddo but it does take one to love a kiddo. I cannot be everything to my kiddos all the time & in the ways they need/want. Yes, I am their mother but sometimes they need someone else other than a parent.

If you have this kind of circle of friends & family in your life, please do not take them for granted! Not everyone is as fortunate to have this circle surround them with love. Tell these people who thankful you are that they are in your families life. Tell them you don’t take them for granted. Tell them they are irreplaceable. Love these people like they are family.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to these families that have filled something in our lives that I didn’t even know was missing. We love you very much and are so thankful for each & every one of you. Thank you for everything 🙂 ❤


A hot mess

hot mess

Yep, it’s true, I am a hot mess.

No matter what you see on the outside or how well put together you think I am or how well it looks like I am doing life…it’s never what it seems. And even when you see the mess that does unfold in public from my kiddos, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

What you see on ‘stage’ is nothing compared to what actually happens behind the curtain.

I am not saying that I cover things up or try to put on a mask for what my life bubble is really like. I would never think of doing that. It’s not real and I am sure that it’s exhausting. I am not going to put more on my plate then what is needed & especially wouldn’t do it just to make the public feel more comfortable.
Do I go around telling everyone that will listen what is going on in my life? No.
Not everything that is going on needs to be told to the world.
I never mind telling our story or sharing anything but it’s not just something that I go around spewing out to just anyone.

There is a time, place, and person when sharing things with. Everyone who ‘cares’ about what you have to say doesn’t always have your best interest at heart. I am not saying that you should lock everyone out in your life nor am I saying that everyone who really does care won’t turn their back on you. What I am saying is that you need to realize when the time/person is right to tell your stories.

What you see of my life and everyone else out in the world looks like from your bubble isn’t always what you think it is. Whether or not someone is living true or putting on front, just remember that what you see on the outside isn’t always as glamorous or as bad as you think. Everyone you see is fighting some sort of battle & it doesn’t have to be some huge battle for this person to feel/act defeated.

So just remember that when you see anyone out there. Just because they don’t act like something is going on in their life, doesn’t make that true. Stop judging people because they don’t act/react to something the same way that you would. Everyone copes differently.

I know that I have had several times in my life where someone assumes that I don’t care or didn’t think something was a big deal because of how I did/didn’t react. I wasn’t aware that I had to reassure you of my feelings on what is going on in my life. There is plenty that I keep behind closed doors because it’s not something that I want on display for everyone to see. I have my own way of coping/dealing with everything that comes my way….good or bad. Is it your way? No. Is it the right way? For me at the time, probably.

I think that more people need to think about how they act and what they say to others before actually doing it. If you step back and say the things you’d like to say to someone else & you wouldn’t want someone to say that to you, then it’s probably a good indication that you shouldn’t say it. I am not saying that you can’t speak truth, truth is very important to speak to people, but maybe you should make sure that you are saying it in a loving manner. If you are upset with someone, wait. Wait until you aren’t angry with them to talk to them. I am sure a lot of extra stress will be avoided if you wait.

Anyway, I am a complete mess most days if not everyday. Some days are better than others. Some days are much worse than others. I cannot do my day to day life without Jesus. And neither can you….whether or not you’d like to admit/believe that or not. I am still a hot mess when Jesus is first in my life. Do not think that just because I believe in Jesus and have a relationship with him that everything is magically better in my life…it’s definitely not! I have stories for you that you may not even believe that has happened to me & my family within the last year.
It’s because of Jesus that I can make it through my days knowing that, yes I am a hot mess, but I am not alone. No matter what happens around me, who betrays me, who sticks by me, whatever the case may be, Jesus will never leave nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6). That is a truth that is old as time and will never change. No matter what mistakes I make or how wonderful my day goes. It’s not because of me at all. It’s because I surrender myself and my family to Him.

Do I remember to do this every day? Absolutely not! I have a very hard time giving control over to Jesus. I am more of a control freak then I think I allow myself to believe. But because I look back on my life and see the times when I shut Him out and tried to do things on me own is when things went the worst. Crap still happens everyday, my kiddos still misbehave everyday, I still react without thinking, I still make mistakes, I am still a (very) hot mess every.single.day with Jesus in my life.

These are truths that I know and I don’t deny but I do not dwell on them….that, my friend, only makes things worse. I am confident that I will mess up. I am confident that I will have bad days. I am confident that I will forever make mistakes. I am confident that I am forgiven. I am confident that Jesus will always be there no matter what sort of hot mess I get myself into.

I could go on and on but I would probably end up repeating myself more than I already have.
Your hot messness is different than mine. Don’t compare what you see of my bubble to what is going on behind your closed doors, it’s pointless and not productive. Our hot messes will always be there so don’t try to make them go away. Work through them and ask Him for guidance through everything in your life…..no matter how big or small you may think it is.

*Disclaimer- I started writing this post a few days ago & have had to write it up over a few days due to life. I am not even sure how much sense this even makes to be honest with you. I have thought about just deleting this and starting over. But no matter when I start this, I will probably not have enough time to get everything I want to say out in one sitting. So here is my hot mess and rambliness talking about me being a hot mess. Enjoy 🙂 *



A million thank yous

When you go through a situation that is tough and, somewhat, out of your control, you aren’t always sure if what will happen & you will stick by your side.

Over the last several months our family has been blessed beyond measure from our loved ones & from people we don’t know and/or anonymous people. It’s amazing what and who God put a in your life no matter what your circumstances are!

Thank you will never be enough to everyone who has helped us out! From everyone who just simply prayed for us, to those of you who loved on our kiddos for a few nights, to those who gave up your space for us, and everything that was done for/with us…..THANK YOU!

It’s something we could never pay in money. Yet I know that if the opportunity came where someone needed our help, we would be there! That would be our repayment.

Thank you to everyone for their love, support, prayers, and encouragement!


Real life moments

I know I’ve been gone for months now! Life has been super busy and, to be honest, have been at a loss for words or I wasn’t sure how to put my thoughts into words that made sense.

But I think that streak is over….at least for now 😉

The first Friday of November was the first moms group that my church held and it was awesome! We did a craft, heard some great & wise words, and shared. Our speaker shared something that has started to turn inside me and  now sharing with others on Facebook. I will get a copy of this asap!

What I have started on my personal page is share pictures and/thoughts that are my real life moments. So many of us just share the rainbows and sunshine on Facebook. There’s nothing wrong with sharing the great things that are going on in our lives but it does make it a tad bit harder to connect with others if we aren’t sharing the not so great moments.

I have a friend who actually shared her real life moment today! I’m so proud of her because I know it’s not easy and it opens the door to so much judgement from others. Keep sharing those moments!

I’ll make a separate post with everything I’ve shared already, probably will get that up tonight.

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know that it’s ok to share those real life moments, you aren’t the only one going through these moments!


Community lovin’

(Get your minds outta the gutter 😉 )

We have lived in 3 different cities since we have been married & never have I wanted to be involved with my community until we moved here. I don’t know if it’s because my kiddos are getting older or because they are involved in things….whatever the reason may be, I am glad that I have this pull to do so.

Being involved doesn’t mean that you have to spend money.
Being involved means knowing what’s going on, attending meetings, attending events, and getting to know the people that live in your community.

I try to take the kiddos to the library at least once a week now.
We are attending more events going on.
I am (trying) to get involved in the groups that are local.
I attend a mom group that meets weekly.
I’ve started an exercise group for our town.

It does take time and planning but if you are planning on staying where you live for awhile, it’s well worth those things.

I think it’s especially important if you have kids. You need to know what’s going on. Know who’s running the town. Know what their plans on, what they are voting on, and what they don’t believe in.

Don’t be afraid to speak up on issues. Don’t be afraid to bring ideas to the table. Don’t be afraid to complain either.
Someone else is saying probably the same thing that you are saying…..”Someone else will do it”. No they won’t. If everyone is saying that then no one is actually doing anything. Will everyone agree with you? I promise they won’t. But that, in no way, should stop you from bringing your voice to the table.

You never know who you will meet when you & your kiddos get involved.
Sign them up for sports. See if your library has weekly events. Check out a mom group.

I promise you will feel about yourself once you step out and just get out there!
At least try it. If you don’t certain things, that’s ok too. Move on. Start something yourself. Just go out and have fun!


Prayer and petition

I usually don’t post a blog this late &, actually, wasn’t going to until I read the word petition.

There have been some things that have been on my mind lately.
Ok, let me get more real than that.
There have been many things that have been weighing on me & consuming my thoughts. Today it seemed like they all hit me at once + just doing our daily life.

It hasn’t happened but at any minute I feel like I am going to need a brown paper bag to start taking deep breaths into.
I can see the anxiety attack coming a mile away.

I don’t want the attack to happen. I can’t let Satan, my thoughts, and these worldly troubles bother me/get me down/torture me to this point. It’s not healthy, unproductive, and not what God wants for me. And it’s definitely not something that I want for myself.

So after we came home from a family visit (which we had a great time today!), everyone was in bed (including Mister), and the last few loads of laundry (at least for now) were going, I knew that I have to get into the word. There was no other way for me to have the heaviness be lifted off my chest, shoulders, and heart. I have been praying for about certain things lately but prayer just doesn’t seem to be doing it anymore for these specific things. That’s another reason I knew that I had to read His word.
Most of the time I don’t know where to start, especially when I am craving/needing some specific.
First, since my phone was almost dead & charging, I logged into my YouVersion account on my laptop to read and get what I needed.
I soon realized I wasn’t getting anything or anywhere. Well, that’s not entirely true. I bookmarked Matthew 6:19-34 & read it about twice.

My heart didn’t feel that was enough. It knew I needed/wanted more than that.
I pulled out my Bible and turned to the back where it lists specific topics & where to find them.
I go to and read the page under the “Anxiety” section.
I read it, get it, and underline a few points that stood out to me.
Then I turn to the second page that is under this section.
The page was on the right but on the left was a verse that I have highlighted before.
After I read that verse, I knew that I didn’t need to read whatever the other page had to say.
It was exactly what I needed to hear/see.
I patted my Bible, smiled, and said “Thank you Lord. I needed that.”

Like I said at the start of this post, I wasn’t even planning on typing anything up about this until I got my thoughts together more. (If this seems rambled & off it’s because I am doing this unplanned and winging it.)
I was just going to write a journal entry crying out to God and praying over what’s been consuming me.
Until I got to the word ‘petition’ in this verse.

Philippians 4:6
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I was going to (and still planning) do all this. And then I thought of another verse (Matthew 18:19, ” Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven”)

This is where the petition part comes in. I may be wrong in this, and if I am please point it out to me, but it doesn’t say to petition alone. So I am asking anyone who would like to or feels lead to, to please keep us in your prayers. Be in agreement with us that His will is done, that we listen to what He tells us, and that we are at peace with what He is giving us.
I know that I would rather say to be in agreement with what we want and what we think is best, but I know those things may not be His plan for us. I have to release what I want (even though it’s not easy at all and something that I struggle with all the time) and do what He wants.

I will be writing out an entry in my journal tonight like the verses says. This is me doing the other part of the verse….the petition part.
Thank you to each one of you that stands in our corner & says a prayer for us tonight, it means more than I could ever express. ❤


When tragedy strikes – a different perspective

I am sure that many bloggers have made posts about what happened in Moore, OK & that others have taken the opportunity to talk about things related to what happened here.
I feel compelled to type this out. I know it’s after the ‘boom’ of what has happened but I needed to take a few days to think about my words (which probably won’t be told the way that I want) and how I was going to express these thoughts/feelings that I have when tragedy’s happen. It’s the same feelings that I have when there is a shooter/bombing/anything that happens in this great country.
This is coming from a point of view that hasn’t experienced something on this level. I was going to high school right outside of DC when 9/11 happened but I didn’t know anyone who was personally effected by the plane crashes. This post is coming from a person who is seeing these events from the outside. I hope/pray that others can relate as well as the victims know that we want to help, no matter where we are.

My heart immediately breaks for those who have to suffer any loss at the hands of someone else. Who looses their home because nature is unpredictable. Who looses a loved one because this life is uncertain.
It’s never fair.
It’s never easy.
Pictures & videos don’t do justice to what you all are feeling/seeing/touching/hearing during these events.
No one can ever imagine what you go through except those who have gone through it before you.

After I see/hear about something that has happened, I immediately want to get up and do something to help. Most of the time there isn’t anything that I can do for different reasons. And knowing/feeling that sucks. Big time.
I want to rush to ground zero and help in anyway that I can. I want to hold children & let them know it will be ok. I want to hug those who are hurting & crying. I want to be the rock during their storm.

I also know that these wants just aren’t possible. I can’t be those things to people who are miles and miles away from me. I cannot be everything I want to be to everyone. I cannot make these people want me to be there.

What I can do at those very moments is pray. Pray for comfort, wisdom, healing, and other things.
I know that some people don’t believe in pray or the power of pray. I am telling you right now that pray is so much more powerful than I could ever explain to you.
Pray is all some people can give.

Know that my heart breaks for every single person that has passed away because of these events.
My heart breaks for the people that have lost their homes & everything inside.
I know all of that is just stuff. I know that stuff can be replaced.
Knowing those facts doesn’t always make getting through the tough times any easier.

I can only watch so much footage before it’s just too much for me. I can only read so much.
After awhile, it just hurts my heart too much to take in anymore.
And, in a way, it’s completely unfair because those going through this don’t have that option.
I can turn the channel, change the radio station, go to the next video on Youtube, keep scrolling through my FB news feed & not have to deal with the heartache.
Not everyone is so lucky to do that.
I am truly sorry that you cannot press stop/pause when something horrible happens.
It’s not fair.
It’s not easy.

It’s getting harder to find the right words that I would like to say/express before I start repeating myself.

Please know that there are people out there that are praying and do care about you, even though we have no idea who each other are.
Please know that there are people out there who’s hearts are breaking for the things that you are having to go through.
Please know that there are people out there who care so much about y’all that they are/would drop everything they have/are doing to help you.

I pray that no matter what you are going through (big or small) that you know people love, care, and pray for you.
You aren’t alone. If you feel that way then someone/thing is lying to you.
Use the recourses’ that they have out there to help you. Don’t feel ashamed either.

I hope/pray that my words came out right and that I didn’t fumble too much over them. 😉

My thoughts & prayers are still with Moore, OK. They will be for some time.
Pictures are burned into my memory from many other tragedy’s that have happened over time. I continue to pray for you.
Just because the media is gone, doesn’t mean that you’re forgotten by people.

Love & prayers for anyone reading this.
Sleep well & be thankful for this moment.
It’s not going to happen again.


Thankful Tuesday – 05/21/13

(Typed this out Tuesday night but it’s not being published until Wednesday morning)

On this night, I am so very thankful that the house that I am currently living in is in once piece & that my little family is all tucked into their beds and sleeping.

I know that with the recent OK events, that not everyone is able to say that. It’s times like these that make you stop & look around at what you have instead of what you don’t. It saddens me that these moments (not the tragedy) don’t happen more often. It shouldn’t take something like a nasty tornado for us to remember this.

As cliché as this might sound, here goes. Hug your loved ones. There’s no such thing as saying “I love you” too much. Smile more often. And thank the good Lord above for what you have around you right at this moment. Things can always be worse than your moment right now.

Love you all & pray that you are safe and sound tonight. 🙂 ❤