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Hello, it’s me!

And it’s been a long time again.  I really don’t like going so long between posts and not blogging about my ventures in motherhood! It’s hard to find time when my brian can slow down, think, and the type everything out. 

Life is pretty crazy these days. I delivered our 7th child in August. School started a few days later….which is another adventure since I’m homeschooling 2 of our 4 school aged children. And the extra activities we choose to be apart of. Life seems to be crazy for everyone when this time of year comes around. But in a weird way, I enjoy it!

I won’t put too much on my plate for the blog right now but I’m going to shot for at least one post a week. I can’t guarantee that it’ll make sense with all my jumbleness but I’m sure someone out there will be able to relate. If not, welcome to my world 😜

For now, I’ll leave you with this and I’ll get an official post out this week! See you then!

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Rekindling friendships 

Life is funny sometimes….well all the time if we really look at things and how it all turns out. 
We find people we click with and want to do life with them. Those relationships either continue or are broken for whatever reason. Usually when they are broken, they stay broken. Too many times it’s over something so trivial and neither party wants to swallow that hard pill….pride. Pride is not our friend y’all! 

Sometimes those relationships are broken for good reasons and they should stay broken. 
Whatever the reason your relationship is broken, really look at the problem and be honest about it with yourself. It’s so much easier to hold a grudge than it is to mend that tear in the fabric of our friendships. 

In reality, that’s not what we are called to do. We aren’t told to hold grudges or leave things messy. 

We are first and foremost called to forgive. Forgiveness isn’t for the other person, believe me when I say, it’s for ourselves. Forgiveness allows the weight of the issue to leave your shoulders and you feel 100 pounds lighter. I know this is hard and takes time but it’s something we have to do. Holding onto unforgiveness is ugly and messy….no one wants that. (Matthew 4:16)
When you lose a friend and there’s an opportunity to heal and restart, take a moment and ask yourself (and put yourself in their shoes) if it’s something you can move past. Most of the time it is. People will do is wrong, lie, cheat, steal, and hurt us to the core. That is no excuse to not forgive. Pray about your particular situation and listen for your answer. Sometimes we have to do what we’re supposed to do instead of what we want in order to be obedient to Him. 
Proverbs 17:17

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Closing chapters in our lives

Closing chapters in our lives are hard. Whether it be a job, friends, volunteering, or even family…closing those doors aren’t always something you want to do. Sometimes we have to close those doors in order to be a better us. Closing those doors could even equal us living a better life. Reducing stress, cutting the negative out, or maybe a bad influence. 
I personally feel that we should tell the person how you feel and not just cut the cord with no explanation. And then there are times that it’s just best to cut that cord. Talking to this person/people won’t make your choice better and could even make things worse. You have to pick which battle you are willing to fight in. 
Whatever door you are closing for whatever reason, we need to be asking God to give us peace with this choice. If this door is meant to be closed rather than closed because that’s just what we want, He’ll close it. We are not to force things to happen just because that’s what we want or because that’s what feels good in the moment. God is bigger than us and His plan is better than ours. 
Let’s step back for a moment (or two or ten) and wait on Him to give us the directions and actions we should do. Doing the opposite of His will for us will not just hurt us but also those around us. 
Pray. Wait. Listen. Praise.

Written on 10/21/15

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It could happen to any of us

I had a topic about closing chapters in your life that I was going to talk about tonight. Something happened today that I think needs to be talked about more. 
Our kiddos. We all have those moments/days where we want to pull our hair out because we just cannot make it one more minute with them. We all have those days when we look at our children and ask God how we got so lucky to have been given such an amazing child. Then there are the days where we don’t think about either one of those things. 

You hear on the news about horrible things happening to children and for that moment, you appreciate yours just a little bit more. Even may hug them a little tighter that night. 
We take our children for granted most of the time. I think most of us always have it in the back of our minds that those bad things won’t happen to our children. On any day at any moment, it can and will. 
Today was our day. 
One of our kiddos went missing after school. No one could find him. His teachers started looking in every unlocked room in the school. Looked all over the playground. He wasn’t there. One of his teachers even got in her car and went driving around looking for him. Time was ticking and the staff thought that the police needed to be called in order to help look for him. She printed off his yearbook picture along with our phone numbers, the schools number, and a description of what he was wearing today. Mister was on his way up to the school when he found out the police were getting involved. While all this was going on two of our friends where helping. One was helping to look around the school and the other went to our house to look for him. Once the officer arrived he collected the fliers and waited for mister to arrive. While we were waiting my friend pulled up with our kiddo in her car, she had found him! Thank God for her and for finding him! Our kiddo didn’t see me right away after school and decided to walk home. This is unlike him so I didn’t think that’s what happened. He was safe so the details didn’t matter to me. 
There will be days when he will still drive me up the wall and I’ll want to hang him by his toes. There will be days where I’ll still take him for granted. I will try my best to not take any of my kiddos for granted anymore. This had to have been one of the scariest moments of my life. Not knowing where my child was, who had him, and what was happening to him. Those thoughts take a mind of their own when something like this happens. Make an effort to back up and chill. Look at your child and just be thankful. That child could be taken from you at any moment….and it doesn’t matter how good of a parent you think you are. Love those kiddos more today than you did yesterday. Put down those walls and love them like there is no tomorrow.

Written on 10/16/15

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My Momma Heart

Oh is my Mama heart hurting big time tonight!
We’ve all been there on those days when we are telling our kiddos to pick up their rooms. Sometimes you have to go in there and tell them to stop fighting and/or playing around. Work as a team to get their room cleaned up. 
Oh and how many threats we pull out to get them to do these things! More than 90% of those threats have just been smoke up their rear ends I’m sure! I know because I use empty threats all the time. 
Today was a day that my threat wasn’t empty. Today was a day that I actually followed through with what I said I was going to do. Today was a day that my Mama heart broke. 
I heard the boys playing and fighting in their room again after going in there several times, telling them to stop, and threatening to throw whatever was on the floor that belonged to them away. Two of my boys didn’t take me seriously. One of those boys had to throw his own stuff away. The other boy didn’t want to listen (again) so I had to bring the trash can in his room myself and throw it away as he’s screaming at me that he wants his stuff and asking for another chance. That’s same boy continues his tantrum and decides to take his homework out of his binder, erase all his homework that he spent his afternoon completing, and scribble all over it. I then decided to write his teacher a note over the scribble and tell her to not allow him to get another sheet and that there are consequences for his actions and the grade he gets is one of them. 
As I was watching my son who had to throw his own things away carry his belongings outside and dump them in our big green trash can outside and watching him cry made me want to sneak outside while he was sleeping and take it all out. My other son is also very upset about his things being thrown away. When he realized he wasn’t going to be able to redo his homework, he became even more upset because he was going to get a life skills mark. 
As I’m writing this one of these sons keeps going into our bedroom begging to have one more chance and that he’ll even get his brothers things out of the green trash can if I do give him this last chance. As much as I want to (and I really do want to) give both of my boys another chance, I cannot. I have to stand firm and follow through with what I said I was going to do. If I’m not willing to follow through with my threats, then I shouldn’t make them in the first place. I had to explain to them that if I didn’t love and care for them, then I would’ve continued to allow them to misbehave, be rude, disrespectful, and disobedient towards me. But because I love them I had to do this. 
How many times has God had to take something away from me because I just wouldn’t listen? How many chances is God willing to give me before He must put His foot down? As much as it breaks my heart…man, I can only imagine how it breaks His. I’ve asked so many times for things to be different or to have something back that was taken from me. But if I would’ve gotten what I asked for them I wouldn’t have learned what I did and wouldn’t have realized that because He takes He really does love me. 
So Mamas out there…showing your children consequences isn’t unloving or mean but a must to show them your position & to be taken seriously. Just make sure that you are ready to follow through with whatever threat you give them….no matter how much you don’t want to or how much it hurts. 
Press on Mamas…..tomorrow is another day to show more love and grace.

Written on 09/29/15

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Sidekick update

Well it’s been a week since I had my genius idea and I’d say it’s working out pretty good! Last week was easier than this current week simply because we didn’t have anywhere to be. I’m glad that I’m having to figure out how to get what I need done while it’s still summer though. Good practice! 

I highlight what I get accomplished from my list. Last week was bright yellow!

  
 This week….I have a few yellow dots. 

  
Again, I’m learning to be ok with that. I just try and move whatever I didn’t accomplish to the next day. Laundry is something that I’m trying to get done no matter what else is going on that day. I do 2 loads a day, 6 days a week, so laundry is definitely something that I cannot get behind on! Has long has its been washed and dried then I’m ok with that. My goal is to actually have it put away and then I mark it has being finished. 

Anyway, this post isn’t about laundry! 

I’m really liking that everything is all there. I don’t have a notebook for a shopping list, chores, phone calls, and whatever else. It’s all in one and makes toting it around much easier. I’ve already started writing down ideas for what my next sidekick will contain. I will start putting it together in December to get ready for the new year and so that it will coincide with my 2016 planner. 

Overall it’s working out great! I’m glad that the idea came to me and I didn’t push it aside. I go to bed feeling good about what was accomplished and, most, mornings I don’t wake up with all this weight on my shoulders filled with lists and to dos and all that jazz. 

I’m excited and looking forward to continuing this new habit and putting together one for 2016! Cannot wait to update and show you!

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Summer funness!

Summer break just started for us and I don’t want to sit around the house for 3 months with 6 kiddos doing nothing and hearing ‘I’m bored!’ ‘What are we going to do?’

I saw someone else do the same thing but I cannot remember where I saw it or who posted it. I thought it was such a smart thing to do that I had to copy it!

I got my 4 oldest kiddos together and asked them what they wanted to do this summer and created their summer bucket list! It’s nothing fancy or glamorous but it works for us. I divided the poster into 4 parts, one for each kiddo, and then wrote down their lists. The color it’s written in matches the color that their chore charts are written in. Figured that was the easiest thing to do so there were no questions. 

  
I haven’t figured out a way for them to check off the things they’ve done. I guess I could let them each decide since it is their list. 

At the end of summer, I’ll come back here and update you on how it worked and if it’s something we’ll do next summer!

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No yelling: Day 4 – now

So I obviously didn’t do a very good job of blogging the week that I wasn’t going to yell. I also didn’t do a very good job of not yelling. I have yelled every day from the first post until now. I don’t know how to not yell. I get to point where talking doesn’t work. I’m tired of being given respect by my kids. I can and will only take so much before I have hit my limit.

I have, however, stopped myself in some moments and just began to talk in a normal voice. That doesn’t happen very often but I’m glad when it does. It helps me calm down and I’m sure they enjoy it more when I’m just talking vs yelling. I wish I could do that every time. I wish I wasnt a yeller. Again, I don’t know how to not yell. Maybe one day I wont, I hope sooner than later.

I know the area in which I need to work on. It’s the ‘in the moment’ moments that I’m terrible at. I can tell myself all day long what I need to do but when I am in the middle of those moments, it all goes out the window. I always fall back into the same cycle that I don’t want to be in…..the crazy cycle!

I will break this cycle and beat it. I don’t when or what will be the magic ingredient but I will!

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#365daysofthanks – 2/365

Today is January 2nd.

I was actually struggling to find something to be thankful for all day. It just wasn’t a very good day here in our house. We had moments but overall, I’m glad it’s bed time.

I was originally going to say that I was thankful for the rain we are getting today. We live in Texas and are currently in a severe drought, stage 5 to be exact. So when we get rain, everyone is thanking God for it.

Then I got to thinking that I really needed to look for something that might not be so obvious, something that wasn’t right in my face.

Everyone had had gone to bed and it was close to 9pm and still hadn’t found something to write about. And then I was playing with Emma, just her and I. And I looked in her eyes and thought, man am I so thankful for you!

(In case you are new or don’t remember, as I didn’t and had to go back and read it, here are my thoughts when I finding out I was pregnant with our 6th child)

I wasn’t always so excited that this baby would be here. I didn’t want this baby to be here. now when I look at her, I can’t imagine my life without her. She is only 5 months old and it feels like she’s been much longer than that and other times it feels like she just got here. The majority of the time (when I have those moments to reflect) it feels like she was always supposed to be here. And I know that she was in His plans the whole time. I love her so much it hurts sometimes. I cherish her a bit more than my other babies because I feel like she is my last baby. I probably won’t have these moments again. I know that I need to soak them up as much as I can.

I am so thankful for this baby that I cried about when I found out that I was pregnant with her and wished that God would give her to someone else (true story. I even told God who I wanted him to give my baby to). I am so glad He didn’t listen to  me. I’m so glad that He gave her to me. Emma will always be my baby and be my own personal proof that His plans are always better than mine.

 

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No yelling: Day 2 & 3

Well I can’t say that I’ve been very successful at this no yelling thing. All I want to do is blame the kiddos and say that if they wouldn’t whine/cry/complain/do what kids do then I wouldn’t have to yell. But in the end, it’s not their fault and blaming them would be a lie. It would be a copout. It would be childish of me. It would be wrong.

Do their attitudes,whining, cry, and other emotions get under my skin? Absolutely! They wear on me to the point that is like nothing better to do than pull my hair out and send them on a hike! I would like to control the volume and sound just like a TV with them. I would like to duct tape them to the wall so they can’t push, shove, and hit each other. Boy, would that make life a bit easier!

I have to swallow my pride and only blame myself for my attitude and actions. I need to learn techniques that have me step back, take a moment, and then deal with whatever is going on. I don’t always have to argue back, have the last word, or be right. What I should always strive for is to solve the problem not add to it. I shouldn’t have to feel so drained within the first 30 minutes of them being home from school. I shouldn’t have a countdown of when they go back to school in the back of my mind. I need to change my mindset. I need to change the way I deal with things and maybe it’ll run off on them. What a concept I just thought of!
{insert sarcasm}

The sad part is that I already know all this stuff. I know that I should back off and then deal with my kiddos. I know that I need to set the example to them on how to deal with conflict and unfairness and other people. All I’m showing is anger and loss of control. Horrible example to my kiddos.

I need to make the effort to do what I know I should be doing. All my kiddos are doing is a reflection of what I’m doing. And I’m getting mad at them for being just like me! So silly!

All my kiddos are over being sick, I’m out of the house today, and all my school aged kiddos have a Christmas party at school today I’m going to make an effort to think before I speak and/or act. I am going to set a new tone and example in my house. I’m going to be the change I want to see in my kiddos.

If not me, then who?