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Hello, it’s me!

And it’s been a long time again.  I really don’t like going so long between posts and not blogging about my ventures in motherhood! It’s hard to find time when my brian can slow down, think, and the type everything out. 

Life is pretty crazy these days. I delivered our 7th child in August. School started a few days later….which is another adventure since I’m homeschooling 2 of our 4 school aged children. And the extra activities we choose to be apart of. Life seems to be crazy for everyone when this time of year comes around. But in a weird way, I enjoy it!

I won’t put too much on my plate for the blog right now but I’m going to shot for at least one post a week. I can’t guarantee that it’ll make sense with all my jumbleness but I’m sure someone out there will be able to relate. If not, welcome to my world 😜

For now, I’ll leave you with this and I’ll get an official post out this week! See you then!

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I’m a selfish best friend

Disclaimer: this is my pity party. I am writing this the same day that I received the news. This will be published days after the news was broke to me. I know this makes me sound incredibly selfish and not a very good best friend at all but this is how I honestly feel. This is me being real with my initial feelings about this. Will I always feel like this? No. Will it take time? Yes. (This was written on 11/24/14). 

 

My mind is all over the place, my heart is broken, there’s a constant lump in my throat, and tears ready to run down my face at any given moment.

^ This is how I’ve been feeling all day today since this morning when my best friend told me that she was moving. I feel like kicking and screaming and demanding that she isn’t allowed to do this to me.

I’ve always had friends. I don’t ever remember a time that I didn’t have friends. Friends come and go. Some stay for awhile and some are gone as fast as they developed. Some make us stronger, some make smarter, and some make us better. I’ve had all kinds of friends. I’ve had great friends and I’ve had friends that have stabbed me in the back. I have a few friends that I call real friends. A few that are best friends. And even fewer friends that I call family. This girl is family.

I’ve  only met this friend a little over a year ago. I didn’t even know she existed until September (maybe) of 2013. We’ve grown close fast and I wouldn’t trade any of what I’ve been through with her…..even if it meant she wouldn’t move. I feel like a little girl who’s friend is moving and they just cry and cry.

I was so shocked when I read the Facebook message from her. At first I wondered why she didn’t tell me in person but on the other hand I was glad she didn’t because I probably would have started crying. And not the pretty cry either, the dreaded ugly cry. As thrilled as I am for her & her family (and I truly am), I would like nothing better than if everything just fell apart & they ended up staying here. I know that is incredible selfish of me. I know that no best friend really wants this to happen. I know that this is part of Gods plan for them. I know that I want the best for the her (and her family), even if that means I can’t be apart of her daily life anymore.

There was so much that I was looking forward to doing with her and her new born daughter. Our girls are only 4 months apart. I thought we were going to raise them together. I thought they’d grow up together and be bffs. I am now having to put my wants aside and plan new things.

(I know all this may sound pathetic to some that I am this upset about my friend moving but there are those few friends who mean so much more than just another friend.)

She’s only moving two hours away, so day visits aren’t out of the question. I would get to visit a city that I’ve never been to. Those are the only positives that I can find right now. Plus, I’m the only one here that knows she’s moving. I can’t even have a pity party with our other friends about this! It’s going to happen so quickly too. They are planning on being moved and settled into their new lives by the first of the year. I won’t have time to process much of this by the time she gone.

And my 2 year old. My 2 year old daughter absolutely loves her. Tells me she wants her all the time. The smile and happiness that spreads all over her face when she sees her Gigi is irreplaceable. I hope she takes this news better than I am. Plus side is, again, she’s only two hours away.

Im still trying to process what I was told, the time in which it’s happening, and the fact that she won’t be here anymore. Why now? Why this fast?

I have other friends and best friends here in this town & I don’t want any of them moving and would be just has upset if they told me this news. I thought our circle would be here forever and we’d raise our kiddos together and be old before our circle was broken up. I am just so sad. But I know these plans aren’t mine and they aren’t even hers, they are His and they are perfect.

I will miss you so much friend.

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Announcement time

Well, I obviously have something I want to share and, hopefully, the title caught your attention enough to want to stop & read 🙂

We recently found out that we are expecting baby #6!
As of right now I have no details on this pregnancy except that the only reason I felt the need to take a test was because I was awakened one morning (at about 4am I might add!) with what felt like kicking. Sure enough, 2 blue lines showed up on the stick.
Waiting on insurance and then I’ll be getting my bootay to the dr.

I’m not sure when I’ll actually be publishing this post but it’ll be after our parents know.

Hope you will want to join me on this next ride!

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Real life moments

I know I’ve been gone for months now! Life has been super busy and, to be honest, have been at a loss for words or I wasn’t sure how to put my thoughts into words that made sense.

But I think that streak is over….at least for now 😉

The first Friday of November was the first moms group that my church held and it was awesome! We did a craft, heard some great & wise words, and shared. Our speaker shared something that has started to turn inside me and  now sharing with others on Facebook. I will get a copy of this asap!

What I have started on my personal page is share pictures and/thoughts that are my real life moments. So many of us just share the rainbows and sunshine on Facebook. There’s nothing wrong with sharing the great things that are going on in our lives but it does make it a tad bit harder to connect with others if we aren’t sharing the not so great moments.

I have a friend who actually shared her real life moment today! I’m so proud of her because I know it’s not easy and it opens the door to so much judgement from others. Keep sharing those moments!

I’ll make a separate post with everything I’ve shared already, probably will get that up tonight.

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know that it’s ok to share those real life moments, you aren’t the only one going through these moments!

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Excuses

We have all made an excuse for at 1 thing in our life….my guess would be more than once, but at least 1 excuse.
This post isn’t about how I am better than anyone (because I am not!) or how there aren’t reasons why things don’t happen. This post is about the extreme that people go to. If this isn’t making sense, please just keep reading..hopefully my thoughts will come together by the end 🙂

There are so many things that we want to get done within a certain amount of time. And, of course, things happen & for whatever reason, these things don’t always get done on our timeframe or at all period. Whether is be because of circumstances out of our control or because of the choices that we have made up until that point. From my experience & what I have seen in my life…95% of why things don’t get done is from our own doing. If you were to really sit back and take a look at things, it’s our fault. Whether we didn’t manage our time better, we put too much on our plate, we didn’t budget correctly, we over spent, or we just didn’t want to get up and do it.
This happens all the time to everyone out there. Each of us are on a different scale but we have all been there! It happens & it’s apart of life. I would say that the majority of the time it’s not that big of a deal at the end of the day if you didn’t get something checked off your list. And, dare I say, that most of us can admit when it;s our fault when something doesn’t get done. That doesn’t bother me….been there – done that – still do it!

It’s the people that make an excuse for everything (and I literally mean everything) and it’s always someone else’s fault. That is just impossible that everything that does\doesn’t happen is someone else’s fault….that cannot just happen! You have control over your life and have to take certain steps to get our list checked off. I don’t understand where in their mind that this is ok & how they go through life actually thinking that this is how it is….truely boggles my mind!

I personally know someone like this & never takes responsibility for their actions or lack there of. It absolutely drives me nuts! Everything that happens in this persons life…their finger is always pointing to someone else saying “It’s them, not me!”. I am not even kidding here! I have never once heard this person (this person has been in my life for almost 10 years mind you) acknowledge their faults, said they were sorry for anything, and has never said something to the effect of “That was my fault, I screwed up.” NEVER!
Their world must be really nice to live in because, honestly, this isn’t the truth at all! This person, for whatever reason, will not take responsibility for anything that happens in their life.

I understand that this is not my problem & it’s not my life but when you are dealing with this daily & have to listen to the complaining that comes along with this….it becomes apart of my life. I definitely do not agree with this person or their reasons. I have actually voiced my opinion and asked why they don’t take responsibility for their actions and they changed the subject. I am not afraid to voice my opinion (and do so often) but I have come to learn that with this person, it is honestly & truly pointless. If you could be a fly on the wall – you would definitely understand what I mean.

Anyway, my point of this whole post is to tell you, the reader, please don’t make excuses for things that happen in your life. Take responsibility for your choices (or lack there of) and take a step back & see if you could have changed the outcome if you would have done something differently. Again, I know that things happen that are out of our control but that doesn’t mean that we should shrug our shoulders & give up. Try a different way or something. You get no respect from others if you just make excuses for the things that happen in your life. You won’t get anywhere if this is all you do anyway. Take ahold of the wheel of your life & do something about the things you want to change. No, it won’t happen overnight but taking that first step is much more admirable than not doing anything but wishing. Try. Fail. Start again. You are your own worst enemy. Look past yourself and get those things done that you want to do. It doesn’t have to be something huge that you want to get done…take baby steps. Make a list and start backwards. Get those simple things done that will get you to that bigger thing. This applies to everything in your life…..from as small as cleaning up your house to something like saving money for your own place. You can do it! Just stop making excuses!

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Reality Check

I am having a really hard time right now.
This moving process is taking so much longer than anyone expected & the stress that is coming along with it is so much that I feel that I could snap at any moment….and actually have a few times. I am so ready for all of this to done & over with and, finally, get a normal life back…whatever that means.

I think that I made a fantasy land in my head before we started the actual road trip. I had imagined this whole thing playing out & now, it’s nothing like what I thought it would be. I am disappointed & having some depression for it. I feel like I set myself up for all this because I was the one with these thoughts about moving.

I thought our whole entire life would change with this move. I thought all the bad & negative things would leave us behind once we crossed the state line. I thought life would be easier here. I thought we would be ahead instead of behind. I, apparently, thought we would be living in a fairy tale.
I know why I thought all these things but it didn’t hit me that life wasn’t going to turn out like that until recently. I wasn’t aware that my mind has actually believed this new idea about what life was going to be. I didn’t know that my mind had embedded this idea into my brain.

Now, I did think that things would be different in a good way & in some aspects they are. In all the other ways though, it’s just the same. I thought that moving here, my entire mind set would change….instantly. I am in no way saying that I regret moving here or wish that we hadn’t moved here. I really like it here & am glad that we have moved here. What I am saying is that I think I phsyed myself up so many  about the new life that we would have out here that I lost touch with reality. I didn’t go crazy over here, though some days it feels like I have, but I did lose touch with what would really happen when moving here. I am 100% positive that this would have happened no matter where we moved to.

I had all these great expectations about moving here. I had this plan of what would happen once we moved here. I had a vision of how our new life would be. I had dreamed about what life would be here.
None of this mattered though because life has hit me upside the head with reality. I am not sure how to work through this. I know what life is really like & what to expect but I don’t think that my mind has caught up with all this. I think that because I wanted things to be so different that it’s going to be really hard to get this fantasy land out of my mind. Not saying that we cannot be there one day but I know that it wasn’t going to happen overnight or within a few days of being here.

I am really not as out of touch with reality has this may make me sound. I think that I just wanted something so badly that I forgot to factor in what would have really happened…..and has. I think that once we are out of a hotel and into our own place, things will be easier to deal with. I can’t be for sure though & will only know once we get there and start this new life. These last (almost) 2 months have really kicked my butt & added extra stress. I am grateful for some of the things that we went through to get to this point….but some, if not most, of the things that we have gone through
could have been left out.

I would like to take a moment & thank our family for helping us out through these last 2 months when they didn’t have to. I know that it has been a drain on you & I am truly sorry for that. You will be paid back. Thank you again to all our family that helped out….we love you very much. I know saying ‘Thank you’ isn’t enough but your help has meant more than we can express. Thank you ❤

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A new leaf

Before we left NC I told myself that I would do something different once we moved….be a better me, be involved, stick my hand out there and say hello to people I don’t know. Well I am on the right track!

I didn’t have a lot of friends in Greenville. I had a few here and there, and mostly it was just people that I would say hello to if we happened to be at the same event….nothing deeper than that. I wasn’t happy about it but I also didn’t have any motivation to get out there and do anything about it. I have met a few people here in the hotel that are moving here, met a mom from the playgroup here in Wichita Falls, and am planning on meeting more. I don’t need a lot of friends to be happy or feel whole….it’s the process for me that I am wanting to change. I won’t be afraid to say hello, exchange a smile, and introduce myself. I am not perfect & I might screw up….but I don’t care anymore.

We belonged to a great church in Greenville. We went to service almost every Sunday and even attended some events outside of those Sunday mornings…..but that’s about as far as it went. No small group, no meeting new people…nothing. We have a found a great church here in WF & we absolutely love it! It reminds us of our church in Greenville. I have signed up to volunteer in the office, registered my husband and I for small group, and much more planned! I am wanting to get our kids involved in the church more, as well as my husband and I. I can’t really call it my church if I am not doing something other than going every Sunday..I am not growing by only doing that.

I participated in one charity event in Greenville, March for Babies in 2010. I planned on going to the one in 2011, but it slipped my mind with everything else that was going on. Not this time! I am writing all the events down that I want to attend….I am speaking up and saying, ‘Yes I want to be apart of this’ or ‘Hey, I am doing this, anyone else want to join me?’. I am finding things that I enjoy doing and\or interested in doing! This is a first for me. I don’t care who doubts me in my ability to do these things….I am not doing them for you & I will just end up proving you wrong. I am excited to get out there and do something that I like….me time!

There were community events too that I wanted to go to and bring the kids along but just really never had the motivation to do so. Again, not this time! I have ‘like’d a few places and organizations here in WF and plan on taking the kids to as much as I can. Whether it be something at the library, sports, or whatever….I will make the effort to be apart of it. This part isn’t about me..it’s about my kids & letting them have fun!

Now with all that said….I will have to train myself to do things when I don’t want to. Remember to write things down on the calendar & plan for things. All these things I will have to work on. I know in the end if will be for the better and not just for me, but all 6 of us! I am excited to get out there and be involved! I cannot wait to let you all know how things are going & share pictures of us doing these things!

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Why we are moving

So I thought I would explain why we are moving. There have been a few people asking on my personal page, I answered, but I thought I would let my fans know why too!

Over 18 months ago my mom and my step dad mentioned that they were moving to Texas to retire and start some businesses there. The city where they are moving is a very small town….it’s so small that there aren’t even hotels there! So when they told me that I wanted to move there instantly to be with them and help them with their new adventures! I brought it up to my husband and he wasn’t as willing to jump on my band wagon as I was. After talking more about this we looked into a city that was about 30 mins away from where my mom would be moving. I didn’t want to be more than an hour from them so we could see them more than we do now. (We live 4 hours from them currently) As we were looking into jobs that are available there and the cost of living, we found out some great things! The pay that he could possibly get is double what he makes now with the same cost of living that we pay now. That sounds awesome to me! My husband and I have been in talks about moving to Texas for about 18 months now. But just a few months ago we made the final decision that yes we are going to move there. I am super excited about this! I have this very overwhelming feeling that this move is going to be very good for the 6 of us!

So here are some details that are and aren’t going on right now. My husband had called dealerships in the area a few months ago to see what he needed to do to get his resume in and they want him to just fax it to them. He stayed on the phone with each dealership in that area for at least 30 minutes and they are looking forward to his resume. He has a really good chance of getting a job at a dealership and making more money! We haven’t found a house yet. We aren’t looking to buy right now. SO trying to find a house to rent is kinda of hard because we can’t be there and look at the homes. Also because not every house that is for rent is in the paper, on craigslist, or listed on some website. So that part is alittle difficult.

But we are very hopeful and know that God will help us get there! I have a fan page set up for me posting about this new adventure! So if you would like to, please feel free to ‘like’ that! I also have a blog about it! I haven’t updated much just because there isn’t anything to report, but please feel free to check that out too! Click here to get to that blog!

I will update everyone as soon as we know something and I hope that you all will follow us on our new adventure half way across the country!

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Exciting news!

Yes that’s right, something exciting is happening in our household! I know that some family members aren’t excited about it and I understand why but, thankfully, they are still supporting us!

My husband and I have been in talks about this for at least a year and a half. We have talked, looked at information, and have made a final decision on this just within the last few months. I have been dying to let the cat out of the bag for so long but, out of respect for my husband, have waited until he gave the green flag. And he just gave it to me last night! So here is our exciting news….

WE ARE MOVING TO TEXAS!!!

This summer we will be making the trip half way across the country to live in the long horn state!

I will make another post on why we have chosen this tomorrow. I would do it tonight but I cannot think all that straight because I am so excited to tell you!!! So be on the look out for that blog post tomorrow!

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New Season Update 04/08/11

Hey Guys! Well I think it’s been one week since I talked about starting a new season in my life. I started last Friday with some things but as the week went on I was loosing momentum and running out of power. The first time that I talked about changing was the housework, or lack thereof that I was doing. I did really well up until Thursday afternoon. I think that I just wore myself out from the pervious days. I haven’t touched housework since Thursday and it’s now Saturday night. I don’t think that I will need to work that hard now though because I had so much catching up to do when I started. Now it’s more or less maintaining what I have just done. The second thing that I was going to try and work on at the same time was the way that I talked to my kids. Again, same thing here, I did really well at the beginning of the week and as it went on, my patience just started to wear too thin. But I also think that has to do with the lack of sleep that I have been getting + all the house work was wearing me out. But I didn’t start to snap until Friday, so I went a week with less yelling and more talking with my kids.

I have to be honest and feel kind of lost without my schedule but I have had less of a headache not having it around. I thought that I would be running around like a chicken with their head cut off without but I actually was able to get more accomplished without then when I had one…..go figure! Instead of my olds way- I am now doing a room by room kind of thing. I tackle one room, regardless of how long it takes me, and then moving on to the next. I am also maintaining (for the most part) those rooms that I have just finished.

We really need to declutter over here and have talked about having a yard sale soon to just get rid of the things we no longer need\want anymore. I also went through my children’s seasonal clothes like I do every season. That took about 2 days! I didn’t realize we had so much seasonal clothing for them! Now I have two laundry baskets full of summer clothes that don’t fit them anymore & winter clothes that need to be put away until it’s time to have them try those one. I am hoping to get two big Rubbermaid containers to put all this stuff in. I love Rubbermaid and they are fairly cheap & really durable. I have one container that I have had since 2006 and it’s been through 3 moves and it’s just holding on strong!

Lastly (I think) I would just like to say ‘Thank you’ to those supporters & followers out there that are keeping up with this. I am opening to hearing any advice, tips, tricks, or anything else that you would like to share when you have went through something like this. Or even just cleaning tips to clean better and faster. If you would like to suggest anything, please do so! Your comments are more than welcome here!