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Closing chapters in our lives

Closing chapters in our lives are hard. Whether it be a job, friends, volunteering, or even family…closing those doors aren’t always something you want to do. Sometimes we have to close those doors in order to be a better us. Closing those doors could even equal us living a better life. Reducing stress, cutting the negative out, or maybe a bad influence. 
I personally feel that we should tell the person how you feel and not just cut the cord with no explanation. And then there are times that it’s just best to cut that cord. Talking to this person/people won’t make your choice better and could even make things worse. You have to pick which battle you are willing to fight in. 
Whatever door you are closing for whatever reason, we need to be asking God to give us peace with this choice. If this door is meant to be closed rather than closed because that’s just what we want, He’ll close it. We are not to force things to happen just because that’s what we want or because that’s what feels good in the moment. God is bigger than us and His plan is better than ours. 
Let’s step back for a moment (or two or ten) and wait on Him to give us the directions and actions we should do. Doing the opposite of His will for us will not just hurt us but also those around us. 
Pray. Wait. Listen. Praise.

Written on 10/21/15

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I’m a selfish best friend

Disclaimer: this is my pity party. I am writing this the same day that I received the news. This will be published days after the news was broke to me. I know this makes me sound incredibly selfish and not a very good best friend at all but this is how I honestly feel. This is me being real with my initial feelings about this. Will I always feel like this? No. Will it take time? Yes. (This was written on 11/24/14). 

 

My mind is all over the place, my heart is broken, there’s a constant lump in my throat, and tears ready to run down my face at any given moment.

^ This is how I’ve been feeling all day today since this morning when my best friend told me that she was moving. I feel like kicking and screaming and demanding that she isn’t allowed to do this to me.

I’ve always had friends. I don’t ever remember a time that I didn’t have friends. Friends come and go. Some stay for awhile and some are gone as fast as they developed. Some make us stronger, some make smarter, and some make us better. I’ve had all kinds of friends. I’ve had great friends and I’ve had friends that have stabbed me in the back. I have a few friends that I call real friends. A few that are best friends. And even fewer friends that I call family. This girl is family.

I’ve  only met this friend a little over a year ago. I didn’t even know she existed until September (maybe) of 2013. We’ve grown close fast and I wouldn’t trade any of what I’ve been through with her…..even if it meant she wouldn’t move. I feel like a little girl who’s friend is moving and they just cry and cry.

I was so shocked when I read the Facebook message from her. At first I wondered why she didn’t tell me in person but on the other hand I was glad she didn’t because I probably would have started crying. And not the pretty cry either, the dreaded ugly cry. As thrilled as I am for her & her family (and I truly am), I would like nothing better than if everything just fell apart & they ended up staying here. I know that is incredible selfish of me. I know that no best friend really wants this to happen. I know that this is part of Gods plan for them. I know that I want the best for the her (and her family), even if that means I can’t be apart of her daily life anymore.

There was so much that I was looking forward to doing with her and her new born daughter. Our girls are only 4 months apart. I thought we were going to raise them together. I thought they’d grow up together and be bffs. I am now having to put my wants aside and plan new things.

(I know all this may sound pathetic to some that I am this upset about my friend moving but there are those few friends who mean so much more than just another friend.)

She’s only moving two hours away, so day visits aren’t out of the question. I would get to visit a city that I’ve never been to. Those are the only positives that I can find right now. Plus, I’m the only one here that knows she’s moving. I can’t even have a pity party with our other friends about this! It’s going to happen so quickly too. They are planning on being moved and settled into their new lives by the first of the year. I won’t have time to process much of this by the time she gone.

And my 2 year old. My 2 year old daughter absolutely loves her. Tells me she wants her all the time. The smile and happiness that spreads all over her face when she sees her Gigi is irreplaceable. I hope she takes this news better than I am. Plus side is, again, she’s only two hours away.

Im still trying to process what I was told, the time in which it’s happening, and the fact that she won’t be here anymore. Why now? Why this fast?

I have other friends and best friends here in this town & I don’t want any of them moving and would be just has upset if they told me this news. I thought our circle would be here forever and we’d raise our kiddos together and be old before our circle was broken up. I am just so sad. But I know these plans aren’t mine and they aren’t even hers, they are His and they are perfect.

I will miss you so much friend.

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Announcement time

Well, I obviously have something I want to share and, hopefully, the title caught your attention enough to want to stop & read 🙂

We recently found out that we are expecting baby #6!
As of right now I have no details on this pregnancy except that the only reason I felt the need to take a test was because I was awakened one morning (at about 4am I might add!) with what felt like kicking. Sure enough, 2 blue lines showed up on the stick.
Waiting on insurance and then I’ll be getting my bootay to the dr.

I’m not sure when I’ll actually be publishing this post but it’ll be after our parents know.

Hope you will want to join me on this next ride!

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Real life moments

I know I’ve been gone for months now! Life has been super busy and, to be honest, have been at a loss for words or I wasn’t sure how to put my thoughts into words that made sense.

But I think that streak is over….at least for now 😉

The first Friday of November was the first moms group that my church held and it was awesome! We did a craft, heard some great & wise words, and shared. Our speaker shared something that has started to turn inside me and  now sharing with others on Facebook. I will get a copy of this asap!

What I have started on my personal page is share pictures and/thoughts that are my real life moments. So many of us just share the rainbows and sunshine on Facebook. There’s nothing wrong with sharing the great things that are going on in our lives but it does make it a tad bit harder to connect with others if we aren’t sharing the not so great moments.

I have a friend who actually shared her real life moment today! I’m so proud of her because I know it’s not easy and it opens the door to so much judgement from others. Keep sharing those moments!

I’ll make a separate post with everything I’ve shared already, probably will get that up tonight.

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know that it’s ok to share those real life moments, you aren’t the only one going through these moments!

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A short goodbye

I am afraid that I will have to say a short goodbye to you all…..well at from the blog anyway. I won’t be post much of anything from the blog for awhile starting tomorrow (071511). We have family coming into town this weekend, getting our truck ready for the road, & then hitting the road Monday!

I will be able to update the fan page because I can access that from my phone but not the blog. I will also try and upload some videos on my Youtube Channel. I am hoping that we will have internet access at the hotel we are staying at in Memphis but after that I have no idea when we will have it. I will definitely make a blog post when we do have it again!

Here are the links for the fan page & Youtube Channel…..I hope that you all will join us on both to follow our journey that way since I won’t be able to post anything here for awhile.

Thanks to everyone for your love & support!

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Time is flying!

I cannot believe how fast time is flying by! It honestly feels like yesterday that we were packing up the trailor….but it’s been nearly 3 weeks!

As our last day in NC is nearing there are a ton of emotions that I am feeling….sad, excited, nervous, happy, anxious, and of course alittle doubt. I think those are all normal with something that is changing in such a huge way. I am trying to push all of the things that could happen out of my mind. I know that those things are a possibility but I would rather focus on all the positive that will be happening.

I am excited to get this last leg of our new chapter going! I have been waiting about 18 months to move to Texas & I can’t believe it’s actually happening. It’s still one of those things that I won’t believe it until I see it kinda thing, but there is no backing out now. Especially since all of our things are in Wichita Falls & have been since the 4th of July.

I have joined a mom group on Facebook that is in Wichita Falls. I am hoping to meet them & build friendships with them. I don’t know how I willwon’t get along with but I am hoping for at least one good friend out of it. It will be nice for my kids to make friends as well.

I still can’t believe that this is our last Tuesday living in NC! We have been living in NC since 096 & now we are picking up & moving half way across the country! This is so weird! But I am excited & ready for our new chapter. I believe that this move is the right move & that nothing but goodness can come from it.

I will probably do one last update this weekend before we are hitting the road!

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Thankful

I am going to take a moment and say ‘Thank you’.

First and foremost I thank God for this opportunity, the means, the friends, the family, the supporters, and so many others that we has put in our life at this moment. I thank Him for everything and everyone that He has put in our path before, during, and after since this new journey as started.

Family & Friends: Thank you for being supportive even if you don’t like that we are moving away. I know it won’t be easy to see us move so far, but thank you for understanding our reasons, the support, and love that you have given us during this journey. Thank you for the love and support you have shown us. Thank you for reading our blog and becoming a fan on Facebook. It may not seem like much to you but it sure does mean something to us. For the ones that have ‘like’d our fan page in FB, it means more to us than just a number or a ‘like’…..for me it means support & love.

Joe & Whitney: Thank you for asking us to stay with you during these next two weeks. It’s a lot to take in 6 extra people when you are used to only having 3 people in your household. Thank you for giving up so much right now so we will have a place to stay. Thank you for opening your home and heart to us. It means a lot and I know that saying ‘thank you’ won’t be enough to repay you, but thank you!

Random people: This is directed to towards the people that bought items from the yardsale andor picked up items that we had for free those last days in our house. I am thankful that you can use what you picked up & that it was one last thing for us to worry about.

Our ex-landlords: Thank you for allowing us to live in your home. It is a great home and it will be missed! Thank you for working with us over all those months we lived there. Thank you for opening up your home to us and, again, allowing us to stay there.

These are the peoplegroups that I can think of right now. If I missed anyone I definitely didn’t mean to. But just in case I did…thank you to everyone who is reading this, in one way or another you have played a role in this new chapter & we are just thankful for everything right now!

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Halfway Point

We made it! We are at our halfway point in this new chapter!
We have moved out of the house & are staying with a friend for a weeks.

It felt like we would never get to this point when we made the final choice to make this move…..but here we are!
I think we both feel a sense of relief that we are out of the house and moving forward on this new chapter. I know that I definitely feel less stressful and alittle more relaxed.

In just a few short weeks we will be making the 1401.67 mile drive!
We will be staying over night at a half way point to see (hopefully) a good friend and some family we haven’t seen in years. I am definitely excited about that part!

Some crappy news though is that the camrea that we use for pictures and video was ruined (thanks finger nail polish remover!). So we are looking into getting one off of Craigslist andor Amazon.com….whichever we can find a better deal with a camrea we will be happy with.

The reason finding a good camrea is a must for us is because we are wanting to document our trip there and, of course, after we get there. We want to be able to post pictures and videos for everyone to see. So please pray that we are able to find a good camrea at a good price!

Other than that we are doing well and just going about our days as normal. Mark is still working at his job and I am ‘home’ with the kids. So very thankful for everything right now.

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Busy Week

Today, Monday June 20th 2011, kicks off the start of one VERY busy week!
This is our last week in this house. I have to be honest and say that it is a bittersweet moment for me. I love this house, the neighborhood, and everything else but all good things must end. I am glad that come Friday we will close this chapter in our lives and start a new one.

So this week includes finishing packing, cleaning the house, selling what was left over from the yard sale, and (praying) that we are able to get a POD (but from a different company). Mark has off Thursday so we will get the bulk of everything done that day. I also have a friend coming over that night to help us clean up.

Then, probably, Friday night we will be moving into our temporary home thanks to J & W! They are letting us stay with them until about the 15th of July. I am so thankful that we have friendsco workers that have opened their doors to the 6 of us. 6 extra people is a lot to welcome into your home for 2 weeks.