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I’m a selfish best friend

Disclaimer: this is my pity party. I am writing this the same day that I received the news. This will be published days after the news was broke to me. I know this makes me sound incredibly selfish and not a very good best friend at all but this is how I honestly feel. This is me being real with my initial feelings about this. Will I always feel like this? No. Will it take time? Yes. (This was written on 11/24/14). 

 

My mind is all over the place, my heart is broken, there’s a constant lump in my throat, and tears ready to run down my face at any given moment.

^ This is how I’ve been feeling all day today since this morning when my best friend told me that she was moving. I feel like kicking and screaming and demanding that she isn’t allowed to do this to me.

I’ve always had friends. I don’t ever remember a time that I didn’t have friends. Friends come and go. Some stay for awhile and some are gone as fast as they developed. Some make us stronger, some make smarter, and some make us better. I’ve had all kinds of friends. I’ve had great friends and I’ve had friends that have stabbed me in the back. I have a few friends that I call real friends. A few that are best friends. And even fewer friends that I call family. This girl is family.

I’ve  only met this friend a little over a year ago. I didn’t even know she existed until September (maybe) of 2013. We’ve grown close fast and I wouldn’t trade any of what I’ve been through with her…..even if it meant she wouldn’t move. I feel like a little girl who’s friend is moving and they just cry and cry.

I was so shocked when I read the Facebook message from her. At first I wondered why she didn’t tell me in person but on the other hand I was glad she didn’t because I probably would have started crying. And not the pretty cry either, the dreaded ugly cry. As thrilled as I am for her & her family (and I truly am), I would like nothing better than if everything just fell apart & they ended up staying here. I know that is incredible selfish of me. I know that no best friend really wants this to happen. I know that this is part of Gods plan for them. I know that I want the best for the her (and her family), even if that means I can’t be apart of her daily life anymore.

There was so much that I was looking forward to doing with her and her new born daughter. Our girls are only 4 months apart. I thought we were going to raise them together. I thought they’d grow up together and be bffs. I am now having to put my wants aside and plan new things.

(I know all this may sound pathetic to some that I am this upset about my friend moving but there are those few friends who mean so much more than just another friend.)

She’s only moving two hours away, so day visits aren’t out of the question. I would get to visit a city that I’ve never been to. Those are the only positives that I can find right now. Plus, I’m the only one here that knows she’s moving. I can’t even have a pity party with our other friends about this! It’s going to happen so quickly too. They are planning on being moved and settled into their new lives by the first of the year. I won’t have time to process much of this by the time she gone.

And my 2 year old. My 2 year old daughter absolutely loves her. Tells me she wants her all the time. The smile and happiness that spreads all over her face when she sees her Gigi is irreplaceable. I hope she takes this news better than I am. Plus side is, again, she’s only two hours away.

Im still trying to process what I was told, the time in which it’s happening, and the fact that she won’t be here anymore. Why now? Why this fast?

I have other friends and best friends here in this town & I don’t want any of them moving and would be just has upset if they told me this news. I thought our circle would be here forever and we’d raise our kiddos together and be old before our circle was broken up. I am just so sad. But I know these plans aren’t mine and they aren’t even hers, they are His and they are perfect.

I will miss you so much friend.

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Meal planning with a budget – how did I do?

Like I said previously I have meal planned before but never stuck to or made any sort of budget to go along with it.
Things had to change since we were running out of our allotted food budget before the month was over. Not every month but I would say close to.
This month I decided to change that. I didn’t know how the first time would go since we have 7 mouths to feed on a small food budget. I had posted on Facebook asking friends what they did & if they had any tips/tricks. Very helpful tips from friends! I also went to my Pinterest boards to use what I pinned.

Were we live, stores don’t double coupons nor do they have deal days, or anything else along those lines. We don’t have every many grocery stores to choose from either. I knew coupons wouldn’t help nor would really be an option. So I needed to find different ways of saving money while feeding my family the best that I could.

I found this pin when I started looking through my budget board. With a heading like that, there was no way that I could pass up clicking on it & seeing if this would be helpful for me!
food budget
Some of her tips that she gave I was already going to do. One tip she said that once you do your weekly (or bi-weekly) grocery shopping, do NOT go back into the grocery store for anything until your next meal planning shopping trip. How does one do that!? What if you run out of eggs or sugar or milk or……
We are going to try & do this. We will see how well that goes. Since this is our first time doing this, I won’t beat ourselves up too much if we do go back before our next weekly shopping trip.

My mission was to plan 3 meals a day for 7 people with $225 per week. This seemed overwhelming and not possible.
When the new weekly ads came out for the 2 stores that we would be shopping at (United & Aldi), I sat down at the computer with a notebook & pen and started to make meals around what was on sale. I went back & forth on my browser windows looking for what I could get from both stores to make meals. My attention span was starting to loose it! I finished writing down our meals and then needed to take a break.

This is our week of meals:
Breakfast:
Monday- Oatmeal with chocolate chips/canned fruit/cinnamon & sugar/peanut butter/chocolate spread. Any of those they could use.
Tuesday- Cereal & toast/bagel
Wednesday- Pancakes & fruit (watermelon)
Thursday- Yogurt, fruit, & granola
Friday- Cereal & toast/bagel
Saturday- Biscuits & sausage gravy casserole
Sunday- Egg boats

Lunch:
Monday- Sandwiches (pb&j or lunch meat) & chips
Tuesday- Tuna & canned fruit
Wednesday- Mummy dogs & fries
Thursday- Grilled sandwiches & chips
Friday- Mac & cheese and peaches
Saturday- BLT
Sunday- Leftovers

Dinner:
Monday- Chicken drumsticks & fries
Tuesday- Ribs & fresh corn
Wednesday- Half pork loin & fresh asparagus
Thursday- Hamburgers & chips
Friday- Salmon, rice, & frozen veggies
Saturday- Leftovers
Sunday- There was no name for this meal, here is a picture
Dinner

As I was writing down the items from the ads, I also was writing down what the price was. Whether it was BOGO or 3/$5. Whatever the price was, I wanted to make sure to write it down so that when I got to the store, I knew exactly which sale price I was going off of. I also went to grab an ad at both stores but they were gone.

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I then made a list of what was going to be purchased from each store with the price that was in the ad. I figured since this was my first time, I needed to be safe rather than sorry.
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Along with these lists (I am most definitely a list person!) I made a list that were staple items or items that we needed but weren’t for our meals. For example, our oldest son is going away to a camp for a week & he needed some food items to take with him. I didn’t want to include the price of that with out meal planning budget. I am hoping that we with this budget, that we will have money leftover for extras……ice cream, cupcakes for school, or making a meal if someone needs it….things like that. In order to keep track of of what was the total of meal planning & then the extras, I did 2 separate transactions at both stores. I figured that would be a lot easier than trying to go through the receipt & figuring out that myself. Less headache = happier Mommie 🙂

Our first stop was United. We stuck to the list pretty well. We let the kiddos know ahead of time that we were going by a list & we didn’t hear any “Can I haves?” They all agreed. But who wants to start taking bets on who actually listened!?
As the guy was ringing up our items, I started to get nervous. Were we actually going to be able to stay within budget? If we went over, how much? Would it affect the rest of the month or could I make it work? I should also mention that I had to swap out 2 meats that were on sale. It would have cost much more to buy the amount needed for these meats than it was worth the savings.
Instead of getting ribs for $2.49/pound, we ended up going with a brisket at $3.08/pound.
We couldn’t find the salmon that was in the ad. It was $12.99/pound and we ended up going with Swai fillets (frozen, in a bag) for $7.99.

When he told us our total, I was shocked!
$141.10
I thought I did so well! How could I not?! I thought, “Wow, we are really under budget! I did way better than I thought I would.” Once I got back home that night, I realized that we still had to go to Aldi the next day. So my high was temporary…..bummer.

The next evening we went to Aldi. I knew we would spend less here but I wasn’t sure how it would come out for our budget. I didn’t do any math going into Aldi. Meaning I didn’t figure out how much we had left over in our budget to spend here. I wanted to just do it and do the math when we got home. Our damage at Aldi was $78.41.

Here is the math:
$141.10 – United, 44 items
$78.41 – Aldi, 49 items
$219.51 – Total, 93 items (budget was $225 per week)
Divided this by 21 (number of meals)
$10.45 per meal
Divided by 7 (number of people)
$1.49 per person, per meal

For the first time, I think that I did pretty well!
Some weeks will be better and some won’t be as great. That’s ok, it’s all a learning process.
What do you think? Can you give me tips for a better savings next time? Can you beat my savings? Tell me! I would love to hear how you do this with your family!

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How bizarre?!

Mister- “Don’t freak out but something happened at work.”

[Men, please do NOT call your wife and say this to her. Not only does it not make us calm but it makes us very nervous for what you are about to say!]

What I heard after that statement I honestly never thought that I would hear nor did I even think that it was possible for something like this to happen in the field that Mister works in.
Mister is a mechanic at a dealership in the town that we live in. He’s great at what he does and has always been careful. Nothing serious has ever happened to him while he’s been on the job. Nothing more than a few cuts and/or scrapes.

On this morning I don’t think that I have ever been so scared/unsure/nervous for Mister than I was during this phone call.
Mister was working under the hood of this car & had to squeeze his hand in a very tight space. I am sure he didn’t think twice about doing this as he’s done this at least a million times before.
Once he put his hand in this space he felt a prick in his hand & pulled out his hand to see what pricked him. I am sure that he never would have thought in a million years that he would find what he did.

A used syringe needle.

Yes, you read that correctly. When he pulled his hand out from the hood of this car, there was a needle sticking out from the palm of his hand. He immediately pulled it out & went to his boss. Not knowing what the needle was used for, they sent him straight to a local drs office. His boss also called the police to have the needle tested for any drugs. The drs office gave him a tetanus shot & drew blood to have it tested. The dr also gave him a prescription for a drug that HIV patients take as a precaution. That in itself is scary to hear! The dr also made Mister an appointment with an infectious disease doctor for the later part of May

I received this phone at about 9am. He gets to work about 8am.

At this point, all we could do was wait to hear what the results were for everything.

He didn’t hear anything about the needle until about 3pm.

The needle tested positive for heroin.
What?! How does this happen?

Misters boss called the owners of the car (I don’t know the time frame of this) and they had admitted that their son was a heroin addict. He was/is currently at a rehab center in Houston & had been there for 4 months already. Since he was at a rehab center, they test the patients. As of right now, this guy isn’t positive for anything. Which doesn’t exactly mean anything. I’ve heard that people can have things show up on their blood tests many years down the road. We are just praying that nothing shows up on his tests….ever!

Between the time that this happened & the infectious disease doctor, nothing was going on with Mister. He didn’t feel any different and wasn’t getting sick. Good deal!

Jump to his appointment.

This doctor gave him a new prescription to take. Took more blood work, which will be tested every so often at a lab in Dallas to make sure nothing shows up in his blood. He has to take this medication for at least 30 days. It can cause vivid dreams & dizziness. (That’s all I can think of, Mister is currently napping). He started taking them this past Friday night. He thought it would be smart to take them at night & not when he had to work the next day. *Smart man* He is experiencing dizziness to the point that he has to stop what he is doing and regain his balance and sense of direction. He’s going to let his boss know tomorrow about this just in case it happens at work. He says that when he takes this medicine, he feels drunk & drugged all at the same time. He was actually slurring his words yesterday from it.
He will need to have his blood checked every 3 months for the next year to make sure nothing shows up on these tests. I am not sure what the dr wants him to do after this first month of taking this medicine.

Besides the few side effects from the medicine, Mister is doing just fine. Thank God!
I will update on what is going on, even if it’s nothing, once this first 30 days of medicine is taken and/or after he talks with the dr again after this round of meds.

Prayers are very much appreciated during this time. It is still full of uncertainty but we also know who is in control. We are at peace with whatever the outcome will be from this accident. We aren’t letting this effect our lives in anyway and carry on like it didn’t happen. There are a few precautions that need to be taken at certain times & we are doing so.

Will update in about 30 days on what happened this last month and what the dr has said.

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Real life moments

I know I’ve been gone for months now! Life has been super busy and, to be honest, have been at a loss for words or I wasn’t sure how to put my thoughts into words that made sense.

But I think that streak is over….at least for now 😉

The first Friday of November was the first moms group that my church held and it was awesome! We did a craft, heard some great & wise words, and shared. Our speaker shared something that has started to turn inside me and  now sharing with others on Facebook. I will get a copy of this asap!

What I have started on my personal page is share pictures and/thoughts that are my real life moments. So many of us just share the rainbows and sunshine on Facebook. There’s nothing wrong with sharing the great things that are going on in our lives but it does make it a tad bit harder to connect with others if we aren’t sharing the not so great moments.

I have a friend who actually shared her real life moment today! I’m so proud of her because I know it’s not easy and it opens the door to so much judgement from others. Keep sharing those moments!

I’ll make a separate post with everything I’ve shared already, probably will get that up tonight.

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know that it’s ok to share those real life moments, you aren’t the only one going through these moments!

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21 day fast

Mister and I are starting our 21 day Daniels fast tomorrow. I’ve never done this before but Mister did a 10 day fast last year. Well I did a fb fast earlier this year but I’ve never done a food fast before.

**Don’t worry, I’m not putting my milk supply in harms way **

A Daniels fast isn’t about detoxing your body or a way to loose weight, though I’m sure most do. This fast is a spiritual fast.

To be honest, I’m a little nervous. Not sure what to expect but I’m sure the devil and his friends will be trying to discourage me or Mister or both.

I am going to dig deep and pray more and open myself up to & for God during these next 21 days. I don’t know if there is a wrong or right way to do all this during this specific fast, but my heart will be in it and I pray He knows that.

To be very honest and open with y’all, I’ve been having a really hard time with God and my faith. I’m not loosing my faith and I still stand strong on my beliefs, but I’m just having a very hard time. I have no idea why this is happening but I’m praying to get answers and direction from Him during this time.

The main reason why I’m sharing this journey with y’all is to ask that you keep us in your prayers over the next few weeks. I’m ready for a break through and change that only He can bring and make possible. I’ll be sharing with y’all how it’s goin cause I’m sure it’s not gonna be easy.

Here is a link if you would like more information about he Daniels fast. I would love to hear your experience if you have done this before.

I’m definitely looking forward to seeing what I learn and gain from this experience and seeing what God has to tell me.

More tomorrow!

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A short goodbye

I am afraid that I will have to say a short goodbye to you all…..well at from the blog anyway. I won’t be post much of anything from the blog for awhile starting tomorrow (071511). We have family coming into town this weekend, getting our truck ready for the road, & then hitting the road Monday!

I will be able to update the fan page because I can access that from my phone but not the blog. I will also try and upload some videos on my Youtube Channel. I am hoping that we will have internet access at the hotel we are staying at in Memphis but after that I have no idea when we will have it. I will definitely make a blog post when we do have it again!

Here are the links for the fan page & Youtube Channel…..I hope that you all will join us on both to follow our journey that way since I won’t be able to post anything here for awhile.

Thanks to everyone for your love & support!

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Time is flying!

I cannot believe how fast time is flying by! It honestly feels like yesterday that we were packing up the trailor….but it’s been nearly 3 weeks!

As our last day in NC is nearing there are a ton of emotions that I am feeling….sad, excited, nervous, happy, anxious, and of course alittle doubt. I think those are all normal with something that is changing in such a huge way. I am trying to push all of the things that could happen out of my mind. I know that those things are a possibility but I would rather focus on all the positive that will be happening.

I am excited to get this last leg of our new chapter going! I have been waiting about 18 months to move to Texas & I can’t believe it’s actually happening. It’s still one of those things that I won’t believe it until I see it kinda thing, but there is no backing out now. Especially since all of our things are in Wichita Falls & have been since the 4th of July.

I have joined a mom group on Facebook that is in Wichita Falls. I am hoping to meet them & build friendships with them. I don’t know how I willwon’t get along with but I am hoping for at least one good friend out of it. It will be nice for my kids to make friends as well.

I still can’t believe that this is our last Tuesday living in NC! We have been living in NC since 096 & now we are picking up & moving half way across the country! This is so weird! But I am excited & ready for our new chapter. I believe that this move is the right move & that nothing but goodness can come from it.

I will probably do one last update this weekend before we are hitting the road!

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It’s starting!

The ball is starting to roll on this move! My husband called a dealership that is located in Wichita Falls and talked to the service manager for almost an hour! The man really likes my husband and wants to meet him. It sounds like that is when they will seal the deal on the job! So excited about this!

The house part may be a bit harder. But I have one awesome friend that just moved to Wichita Falls from Alaska, and she offered to check out any homes that we are interested in, take pictures of them, and then send them to us! That is so awesome and I couldn’t be more thankful!

In my next blog post I am going to talk about how we will be moving a family of 6 half way across the country and their ‘stuff’!