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#30daysofthanks

You all know this hashtag by now, I mean it is the end of November.

I think that I always jump on this bandwagon every year. I don’t think there’s ever been a year that I actually completed 30 days. And seeing the lack of posts in my newsfeed by the end of the month, I’m not the only one. They say 21 days makes a habit but I can never make it that far into the month, ha!

So, if I don’t finish my #30daysofthanks, does that mean I’m not thankful!?

Absolutely not!

I think we should be thankful for everything, everyday. I know that more people are than aren’t. I understand why it’s more focused on in November. This time of year brings to our attention why we should be thankful for what we have and how great our lives actually are. Our focus kinda gets put on the back burner the other 95% of the year. I can totally see how and why that happens. Life happens. Life gets in the way. Our lives are our bubbles and sometimes the things that happen in our bubble are just so consuming that we forget to look outside our bubble. What happens in my bubble may not be a big deal in your bubble and vice versa. We tend to not be as merry and bright the rest of the year. We don’t put as much emphasize on giving and others the rest of the year.

Or maybe you & your family does. I know that our daily events get in the way I/we forget or choose not to focus on it. I’ve got a lot going on in my life daily that I’d rather not think of everyone else’s problems. As harsh as that may sound, it’s true and I know I’m not the only that thinks like this. It’s not meant to be mean or offensive to anyone but it is the truth.

Let me be real with you right now. My attitude, words, and thoughts have been anything but thankful these couple of days, almost a week. I see myself being thankful in certain moments or when things go a certain way. I’m seeing that I’m not so thankful when those moments aren’t going my way or something unexpectedly happens that throws a wrench in my plans. I have been spewing words of anger, hate, and just plain nasty words to my family. This is not ok. This isn’t me being the best me that I can be. This isn’t me setting a good example for my children. This isn’t me being a safe/happy place for my family to enjoy. I’m wallowing in my own self pity and getting so mad about something that won’t even matter next week. And if it will matter next week, it’s not even a big deal. I am not liking this side of me at all. I feel awful and horrible about how I’ve been treating my family and the words that have been coming out of my mouth. I am ashamed and would be embarrassed if anyone overheard me.

 

And so because of this, I am giving myself a challenge. You can join me if you’d like, you can help hold me accountable, you can just simply read my posts, or you can do nothing. All are acceptable and perfectly fine for you.

Starting January 1, 2015 I am going to be posting what I am thankful for every day for 365 days. It seems like a big task and. Bit overwhelming. I mean, I can’t even post for 30 days what I’m thankful for, what makes me think that I can do 365? I have no idea! But I am going to challenge myself. This is something that I am doing for myself and no one else. I’m not proving anything to anyone. The one reason I am making a public statement is, mostly, for accountability. Plus, I know someone else out there will need to check their attitude & words also. I’m not the only person out there having this negative nancy on their shoulder.

Im putting a stop to it before it gets too far out of hand. I’m the only person that can control this. I’m the only person that can make myself change. I cannot do it for anyone else but myself. I’m sure that by the end I will be a happier person.

Will I have days where I don’t want to find the good and be thankful for something? Yes. Will it be hard to come up with so many things? Sure. Will I miss a day? Or two? Probably! In the end though, it’s not about how many days in a row I did this. Or how many days in a row I missed. It’s a heart thing. It’s a happy heart thing. It’s always about the heart. Good and evil. It’s a heart and mindset kinda thing.

Let’s change our hearts & minds so that we can become the change we want to see I our spouses, kiddos, family members, friends, and communities. Sounds super cheesy, I know.

But I also know that it’s true.

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10 outta 12

My goodness, it’s that time again to give an update on Miss Lily!
She turned 10 months on Sunday. I cannot believe she is already 10 months!!
I know I say that every month but it’s so true!

You never know how quickly a month goes by until you have a baby!

She is speaking jibberish and can’t wait for her to say Momma!
She finally has two bottom teeth coming through! One has already broken through and you can see the other one right under the skin.
She is climbing up on things, mostly Papa! She can open drawers and take things out…which only means trouble!
She is loving food!! We share with her and having come across a food that she doesn’t like!
She stands by herself but hasn’t taken any steps yet. Her older siblings are trying to help her out an holding her hands and walking with her.

We are still breastfeeding(!), cloth diapering, baby wearing, and co-sleeping.

I’m most excited about the breastfeeding! I haven’t been able to go past a few weeks with my other 4 and here I am at our 10 month mark!!

I’ve tried to have Lily sleep in her crib right next to our bed and not because I want to….my back hurts a lot in the morning. I love snuggling with her at night and each morning!!! I’ve tried letting her cry it out, getting her to sleep and then putting her in her crib, and sitting with her while she’s in her crib…..I just can’t do it. It breaks my heart too much and she looks so scared when I go in and get her. I don’t want her to be scared. And y’all can’t tell me anything that would make me change my mind. I may have to deal with her being 3 and coming in my bed at night but at least then I can talk to her and try and explain things to her. I cannot do that now.
My other kiddos weren’t like this and were already sleeping in their own bed and room right now. This part is new to me.
You may think that I need to be harder with her but that look on her face is something that I cannot justify leaving her alone to cry it out.

See ya next month!!!
PS- Already started planning her 1st birthday!!!

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9 month pt.2

Since Lily had her 9 month check with her Dr and dentist, I figured I’d share how those went. Dr – she is growing just fine. She was cleared to eat table food. We have been giving her table food here and there. I do not want to mess up her breast feeding and totally not ready to give that up. She had shots this time around because we somehow got behind on shots even though we’ve never missed an appointment. No reaction from those at all. Dentist- she has no teeth yet but they say she will have a bottom one soon. I had no idea but then when I felt her bottom gums, I could feel that her gums felt different. So we shall see when the tooth pops through. She goes back in June to see both again. I can’t believe that when she goes back for these check ups that she will be 1!!!! Thanks Dr. Johnson and Dr. Lee for being great with Lily & all my kiddos! Very thankful for a happy and healthy baby girl!

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Big girl pants

And I don’t mean in the sense of putting them on and deal with it. I’m nervous about posting this, I’ll be honest but I’m doing it anyway.

My youngest daughter (8 months old) was blessed with two boxes of clothes and as I was going through them I found two pairs of adult jeans. I looked at the tags and figured the sizes they were would be around what I thought I would fit in. I cannot wait to fit into a pair of jeans again! I mean I could now but I wouldn’t like the way I look in them.

So anyway I try them on. They fit perfectly length wise (I’m short so it’s not always easy finding pants that good length wise), but they were definitely tight around my waist. And I figured they would be but I could still button and zip both pairs! Bonus: I didn’t have to lay down to do so šŸ˜‰
So this just tells me that with more work an keep on doing that I will get there!

Now here comes the nervous part.
The two pairs are two different sizes. So I thought I would take pictures in both to show progression each month. So here yea go!

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These were a size 20.

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And this was a size 18.

I don’t know if you will tell from the pictures but my muffin top is really noticeable in the last two pictures. That muffin top grosses me out and I cannot wait to get rid of it!

I will post pictures around this time next month and see what kind o a difference there is!

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Mommie update!

And now for an update on me, the Mommie!

I have been doing well! I have not experienced any postpartumĀ depression this time, thank God! I don’t know if I have been too busy to notice it or what, haha! Just glad that I haven’t had to deal with that. Still breastfeeding and sorta co-sleeping.

I have started a journey to loose the baby weight. I am not dieting or cutting foods out in anyway, just watching how much I am eating. The only thing that I have reduced is the sweets. I haven’t been eating as much of those as I have been before.

But other than that, I am not sure what else to report about what’s been going on with me in the last 7ish months! I think that I won’t update again on me until Lily is 1 year old!

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Happy 3, 4, & 5 Months!

I am so behind on updating on Lily! This post won’t have any pictures just because I can’t get her 5 month picture off my phone yet, so I will just make a separate post with her pictures.

She is getting so big way too fast! I so wish that we could slow down time!

She is rolling back to belly & bellyĀ to back. Still nursing like a champ. Still baby wearing. Still co-sleeping. Still cloth diapering.Ā She rubs her eyes when she is tiredĀ and I think it’s the cutest thing ever! Over the last week or so she has started teething and she is definitely letting you know! We have given her some Tylenol. I froze my teething bling necklace but she didn’t like that at all! But I will keep trying that with her incase she starts to like it later down the road.

This past Thursday (11/08/12) it really hit her. She slept all day long except to nurse. She was only awake & interacting with us for about 90 minutes total that day. I let her sleep and didn’t mess with what her body was telling her that she needed. The next day she was almost back to normal & today she is even better!
I don’t feel any teeth poking through but she does have a bump behind her gums and I can tell that it’s moving forward. You can now feel that bump through her chin. She is drooling and putting everything in your mouth and biting down on everything!
Lily teething isn’t that bad but compared to the other 4 kiddos, she is the worst\hardest. She is so uncomfortable and miserable. Hopefully the teeth\tooth will pop through soon and stop bothering her.

She is wanting to sit up on her own all the time. She has done it a few times but always falls over in the end, haha! We are thinking about getting her a bumbo for Christmas. She reaches for people now when she sees them……makes my heart smile when she reachesĀ for me and her Papa! She talks all the time! I have no idea what she is saying but it’s so cute! She moves around in her walker all the time! Which is a good thing because you can tell she wants to get down and get somewhere but just doesn’t know how! She isn’t a complete fan of tummy time but she is doing it more often. She turns while on her belly but hasn’t started scooting anywhere or crawling.

We have not started her on any foods and aren’t planning to just yet. When we do, I will be trying to do homemade food. I have never made my own baby food so I have no idea how time consumingĀ this is or anything like that. But I would like to at least try andĀ make the effort.

She has her first dentist appointment next month & her 6 month check up also. I will definitely update after those two appointments. And I think they are on the same day!

Anyway, that’s it for now & I will get a post up with her 3, 4, & 5 month pictures as soon as I can get them off my phone. Thanks for reading šŸ™‚

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2 Months PP

This is really overdue!!!! It took me awhile to get updated pictures of the two of us, they were taken this month but not exactly on the 7th.

Lily:
She is growing like a weed! She is already in 3-6 month clothing…makes me sad when I had to change out her clothing. She is already wanting to sit up. When she is laying down she is trying to push herself up to try andĀ sit up. This is all happening way too fast! I have told her many times to slow down but she just isn’t listening! Makes me so sad šŸ˜¦ She is talking up a storm these days. She has started talking when she nurses also which takes twice as long now but it’s ok because she is so gosh darn cute when she does it. I was going to wait until her 2 month check up to do her update but I will just make a separateĀ post about that……it’s next week! She loves her chair that her Nana bought her! She even falls asleep in it sometimes. She is just recently taking cat naps during the day. Which is fine, but it makes it hard to get anything done….but that is my fault because I just want to play with her! She is still breastfeeding (I cannot believe it) and sleeping mostly through the night. She wakes up between 2-3 times a night….all depends on when her & I go to bed. I don’t count her feedings until I go to sleep & have to wake up. She has recently been getting really fussy when she nurses (I hold her football style). So I was trying to figure out what was going on and how can I help her out? Thought it was gas but that wasn’t it. So now that sorta lay on my back and she nurses on top of me. She loves it and lately will nurse like that more than any other position. I get the bigger smiles from her when she is like that.We are still doing tummy time & she is doing great and staying on her belly longer but she still isn’t the biggest fan. But we will keep doing it!


Lily at 2 months!
I think that is all I have to update on her right now. Like I said, I will update after her appointment next week!

Mommie:
I am doing just great. Had my 6 week follow upĀ apptĀ about 2 weeks ago! I gained about 5 pounds since last month & I got (and still am) bummed about that. On the other hand it’s not like I was doing anything to change that. I did start walking about 1 week before my appt. I haven’t been walking since my apptĀ & I kick myself everyday that I don’t but apparently it’s not enough to make myself do it. I am going to be documenting my weight loss journey as soon as I can remember to take my measurements. I am going to loose this baby weight (from all 5 babies!) if it kills me…and it just might. So stay tuned to find out the rest of that story šŸ™‚

Until next month
šŸ™‚