0

It’s off the table

I was sitting in a local restaurant this past Sunday evening with a small group of ladies.
These ladies & I get together once a month for something called the IF: Table. There is always a set of questions that we can talk about, which is wonderful to get the conversation going & a great ice breaker for those that are new or need a topic to start with.
Anyway, we tend to start with the questions, go off topic, and then wrangle ourselves back to the questions.

We started talking about how divorce is so common these days and how some people tend to just marry & divorce like it doesn’t mean anything to take those vows. Celebrities & media certainly don’t help with these matters either.

We started talking about our personal stories of divorce and how we viewed it.

I shared that Mister and I have been on the brink of divorce more than once in our marriage. We had many struggles and didn’t always know how to deal with these things. My first reaction was to always run away and leave the problem/situation.
Then there came a point during 1 argument (I don’t remember many details) where Mister said that divorce wasn’t an option for us. I looked at him and said that he didn’t get to decide those things for me. We proceeded to tell me that if I wanted to leave then that was fine but he would never sign any divorce papers. This made no sense to me. Why would you want to stay with someone who didn’t want to be with you & hinder them from going on with their life. It made no sense to me. I questioned him with a million questions about this (I can only imagine) and figured that if he wanted to do that then that was fine but I wasn’t going to stick around.

I came off my angry cloud eventually.
Why was I so bent on leaving this marriage just because it got rough? Why was leaving this man the only option that I would consider? Why was he willing to hold onto this so tightly?

At this point in our lives we were apart of a company/team that believed in what the Bible said and believed it to be true. Though Mister grew up going to church, being involved in his church, and reading the Bible….I did not. This wasn’t something that I was interested in. I didn’t want these things shoved down my throat.
Mister began to read the Bible more and act the way he believed instead of just saying that he believed. No matter what I wanted or even what he wanted, he read in the Bible that divorce isn’t something that you should do. (What does the Bible say about divorce?)

Knowing that he wouldn’t sign papers to have a divorce, I had 1 of 2 options. #1- I could be married to him the rest of my life & be unhappy. #2- I could get over myself, work through these problems, and be happy.
Knowing something isn’t an option really makes you stop & think about what the real issue is.

Some of you are probably yelling at your screen right about now. That’s ok, just keep reading ūüėČ

I will be & am forever thankful that Mister had a big enough backbone to stand for our marriage. That he did something that he strongly believed in for the better of our family (I believe we had 3 kiddos when all this happened). I am thankful that no matter what friends, family, media, or any other influences were telling him that he did what he believed to be right….not convenient or easy or popular. I thank God that Mister did and said what he did. We wouldn’t be who/where we are without him standing his ground like that. I love that man more than I could ever express and am thankful I stuck around.

No matter what you are going through or who you are going through it with, when you take options like divorce or just simply walking away from any relationship or anything else in your life when you come to a cross road, when you take the option of giving up/running away off the table, you are forcing yourself to deal with the problem. You are forcing yourself to work through the muck. You are forcing yourself to step out of your comfort zone and grow.

Believe when I say that I know sometimes ending these chapters in your life are what needs to be done. I’m just saying do not give up until you’ve tried your hardest and given it everything you’ve got. You will never know what comes from things if you aren’t willing to stick around and fight. Be willing to put up with something/someone for some time in order to make sure that it’s really meant to end. Make sure that you did all you can do.

Make sure giving up isn’t an option and is off the table.

1

A hot mess

hot mess

Yep, it’s true, I am a hot mess.

No matter what you see on the outside or how well put together you think I am or how well it looks like I am doing life…it’s never what it seems. And even when you see the mess that does unfold in public from my kiddos, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

What you see on ‘stage’ is nothing compared to what actually happens behind the curtain.

I am not saying that I cover things up or try to put on a mask for what my life bubble is really like. I would never think of doing that. It’s not real and I am sure that it’s exhausting. I am not going to put more on my plate then what is needed & especially wouldn’t do it just to make the public feel more comfortable.
Do I go around telling everyone that will listen what is going on in my life? No.
Not everything that is going on needs to be told to the world.
I never mind telling our story or sharing anything but it’s not just something that I go around spewing out to just anyone.

There is a time, place, and person when sharing things with. Everyone who ‘cares’ about what you have to say doesn’t always have your best interest at heart. I am not saying that you should lock everyone out in your life nor am I saying that everyone who really does care won’t turn their back on you. What I am saying is that you need to realize when the time/person is right to tell your stories.

What you see of my life and everyone else out in the world looks like from your bubble isn’t always what you think it is. Whether or not someone is living true or putting on front, just remember that what you see on the outside isn’t always as glamorous or as bad as you think. Everyone you see is fighting some sort of battle & it doesn’t have to be some huge battle for this person to feel/act defeated.

So just remember that when you see anyone out there. Just because they don’t act like something is going on in their life, doesn’t make that true. Stop judging people because they don’t act/react to something the same way that you would. Everyone copes differently.

I know that I have had several times in my life where someone assumes that I don’t care or didn’t think something was a big deal because of how I did/didn’t react. I wasn’t aware that I had to reassure you of my feelings on what is going on in my life. There is plenty that I keep behind closed doors because it’s not something that I want on display for everyone to see. I have my own way of coping/dealing with everything that comes my way….good or bad. Is it your way? No. Is it the right way? For me at the time, probably.

I think that more people need to think about how they act and what they say to others before actually doing it. If you step back and say the things you’d like to say to someone else & you wouldn’t want someone to say that to you, then it’s probably a good indication that you shouldn’t say it. I am not saying that you can’t speak truth, truth is very important to speak to people, but maybe you should make sure that you are saying it in a loving manner. If you are upset with someone, wait. Wait until you aren’t angry with them to talk to them. I am sure a lot of extra stress will be avoided if you wait.

Anyway, I am a complete mess most days if not everyday. Some days are better than others. Some days are much worse than others. I cannot do my day to day life without Jesus. And neither can you….whether or not you’d like to admit/believe that or not. I am still a hot mess when Jesus is first in my life. Do not think that just because I believe in Jesus and have a relationship with him that everything is magically better in my life…it’s definitely not! I have stories for you that you may not even believe that has happened to me & my family within the last year.
It’s because of Jesus that I can make it through my days knowing that, yes I am a hot mess, but I am not alone. No matter what happens around me, who betrays me, who sticks by me, whatever the case may be, Jesus will never leave nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6). That is a truth that is old as time and will never change. No matter what mistakes I make or how wonderful my day goes. It’s not because of me at all. It’s because I surrender myself and my family to Him.

Do I remember to do this every day? Absolutely not! I have a very hard time giving control over to Jesus. I am more of a control freak then I think I allow myself to believe. But because I look back on my life and see the times when I shut Him out and tried to do things on me own is when things went the worst. Crap still happens everyday, my kiddos still misbehave everyday, I still react without thinking, I still make mistakes, I am still a (very) hot mess every.single.day with Jesus in my life.

These are truths that I know and I don’t deny but I do not dwell on them….that, my friend, only makes things worse. I am confident that I will mess up. I am confident that I will have bad days. I am confident that I will forever make mistakes. I am confident that I am forgiven. I am confident that Jesus will always be there no matter what sort of hot mess I get myself into.

I could go on and on but I would probably end up repeating myself more than I already have.
Your hot messness is different than mine. Don’t compare what you see of my bubble to what is going on behind your closed doors, it’s pointless and not productive. Our hot messes will always be there so don’t try to make them go away. Work through them and ask Him for guidance through everything in your life…..no matter how big or small you may think it is.

*Disclaimer- I started writing this post a few days ago & have had to write it up over a few days due to life. I am not even sure how much sense this even makes to be honest with you. I have thought about just deleting this and starting over. But no matter when I start this, I will probably not have enough time to get everything I want to say out in one sitting. So here is my hot mess and rambliness talking about me being a hot mess. Enjoy ūüôā *

 

0

Real life moments

I know I’ve been gone for months now! Life has been super busy and, to be honest, have been at a loss for words or I wasn’t sure how to put my thoughts into words that made sense.

But I think that streak is over….at least for now ūüėČ

The first Friday of November was the first moms group that my church held and it was awesome! We did a craft, heard some great & wise words, and shared. Our speaker shared something that has started to turn inside me and  now sharing with others on Facebook. I will get a copy of this asap!

What I have started on my personal page is share pictures and/thoughts that are my real life moments. So many of us just share the rainbows and sunshine on Facebook. There’s nothing wrong with sharing the great things that are going on in our lives but it does make it a tad bit harder to connect with others if we aren’t sharing the not so great moments.

I have a friend who actually shared her real life moment today! I’m so proud of her because I know it’s not easy and it opens the door to so much judgement from others. Keep sharing those moments!

I’ll make a separate post with everything I’ve shared already, probably will get that up tonight.

Anyway, just wanted to let everyone know that it’s ok to share those real life moments, you aren’t the only one going through these moments!

2

When tragedy strikes – a different perspective

I am sure that many bloggers have made posts about what happened in Moore, OK & that others have taken the opportunity to talk about things related to what happened here.
I feel compelled to type this out. I know it’s after the ‘boom’ of what has happened but I needed to take a few days to think about my words (which probably won’t be told the way that I want) and how I was going to express these thoughts/feelings that I have when tragedy’s happen. It’s the same feelings that I have when there is a shooter/bombing/anything that happens in this great country.
This is coming from a point of view that hasn’t experienced something on this level. I was going to high school right outside of DC when 9/11 happened but I didn’t know anyone who was personally effected by the plane crashes. This post is coming from a person who is seeing these events from the outside. I hope/pray that others can relate as well as the victims know that we want to help, no matter where we are.

My heart immediately breaks for those who have to suffer any loss at the hands of someone else. Who looses their home because nature is unpredictable. Who looses a loved one because this life is uncertain.
It’s never fair.
It’s never easy.
Pictures & videos don’t do justice to what you all are feeling/seeing/touching/hearing during these events.
No one can ever imagine what you go through except those who have gone through it before you.

After I see/hear about something that has happened, I immediately want to get up and do something to help. Most of the time there isn’t anything that I can do for different reasons. And knowing/feeling that sucks. Big time.
I want to rush to ground zero and help in anyway that I can. I want to hold children & let them know it will be ok. I want to hug those who are hurting & crying. I want to be the rock during their storm.

I also know that these wants just aren’t possible. I can’t be those things to people who are miles and miles away from me. I cannot be everything I want to be to everyone. I cannot make these people want me to be there.

What I can do at those very moments is pray. Pray for comfort, wisdom, healing, and other things.
I know that some people don’t believe in pray or the power of pray. I am telling you right now that pray is so much more powerful than I could ever explain to you.
Pray is all some people can give.

Know that my heart breaks for every single person that has passed away because of these events.
My heart breaks for the people that have lost their homes & everything inside.
I know all of that is just stuff. I know that stuff can be replaced.
Knowing those facts doesn’t always make getting through the tough times any easier.

I can only watch so much footage before it’s just too much for me. I can only read so much.
After awhile, it just hurts my heart too much to take in anymore.
And, in a way, it’s completely unfair because those going through this don’t have that option.
I can turn the channel, change the radio station, go to the next video on Youtube, keep scrolling through my FB news feed & not have to deal with the heartache.
Not everyone is so lucky to do that.
I am truly sorry that you cannot press stop/pause when something horrible happens.
It’s not fair.
It’s not easy.

It’s getting harder to find the right words that I would like to say/express before I start repeating myself.

Please know that there are people out there that are praying and do care about you, even though we have no idea who each other are.
Please know that there are people out there who’s hearts are breaking for the things that you are having to go through.
Please know that there are people out there who care so much about y’all that they are/would drop everything they have/are doing to help you.

I pray that no matter what you are going through (big or small) that you know people love, care, and pray for you.
You aren’t alone. If you feel that way then someone/thing is lying to you.
Use the recourses’ that they have out there to help you. Don’t feel ashamed either.

I hope/pray that my words came out right and that I didn’t fumble too much over them. ūüėČ

My thoughts & prayers are still with Moore, OK. They will be for some time.
Pictures are burned into my memory from many other tragedy’s that have happened over time. I continue to pray for you.
Just because the media is gone, doesn’t mean that you’re forgotten by people.

Love & prayers for anyone reading this.
Sleep well & be thankful for this moment.
It’s not going to happen again.

‚̧

0

Thankful Tuesday – 05/21/13

(Typed this out Tuesday night but it’s not being published until Wednesday morning)

On this night, I am so very thankful that the house that I am currently living in is in once piece & that my little family is all tucked into their beds and sleeping.

I know that with the recent OK events, that not everyone is able to say that. It’s times like these that make you stop & look around at what you have instead of what you don’t. It saddens me that these moments (not the tragedy) don’t happen more often. It shouldn’t take something like a nasty tornado for us to remember this.

As clich√© as this might sound, here goes. Hug your loved ones. There’s no such thing as saying “I love you” too much. Smile more often. And thank the good Lord above for what you have around you right at this moment. Things can always be worse than your moment right now.

Love you all & pray that you are safe and sound tonight. ūüôā ‚̧

0

Someone always has it worse than you

This statement is true.
This statement will always be true.

A friend of mine on fb posted a status the other day talking about how the next time you want to whine/complain about something, think about those who are going through something serious.

Welp¬†I am officially tired of Dr. offices! And with the scare I am dealing with I am amazed¬†at people on facebook¬†that complain over the tiniest little things! “I have a headache”, “I cant¬†sleep”, “I’m tired of the cold.” I’m not calling myself perfect but I am DEFANTLY¬†not going to complain about anything that is small just to get pity ever again! This seriously saddens me, especially when most o…f the things you complain about YOU CAN FIX!! It’s time for you to LIVE not complain. Live for yourself, your babies, your family, your friends, and your future! Sometimes people have life altering experiences and life changing experiences and those people don’t give a DAMN about your headache they are just happy to see the next day when they wake up! Next time you complain think about someone who has it way way¬†worse then you! *END OF RANT*
I absolutely agree with her. No matter what you are going through someone is always going through something worse. Some people would gladly take your situation over the one they are in, in a heart beat!
With that being said, it’s not always easy to remember this in those moments. I think we all want a pity party about what we are going through. I think it’s almost normal. I think that we need to take time to have a pity party…it’s part of the process.
What I don’t think we need to do is always air it for the world to see/hear. Sometimes it does some good, but you know what I am talking when people cross that line.
I know that for myself¬†I need to have a pity¬†party, feel sorry for myself, and then deal with whatever is going on. When I don’t do this I sometimes end up stuffing inside and then every little thing makes me 100x madder than it normally would.
I also know that we all live in our own bubbles. We feel for people and have empathy for others going through things/hard times. But I think it’s hard to put ourselves in their shoes especially if it’s not something that they have been through before. We don’t always think about others & their problems during our day to day shuffle. We don’t always think of others problems until we are actually sitting and not doing anything or when they bring it back up to you. It’s not that we don’t care about what’s going on in your bubble, it’s just that our bubble is crazy too….just with different crazy things.
We also shouldn’t compare our bubble with¬†other peoples’ bubble. They will never be the same & it’s a waste of time to compare. Not that we shouldn’t have empathy towards others, but it’s absolutely pointless to compare.
Someone will always have it worse than you.
Someone will always have it better than you.
Someone will always have a pity party.
Someone will always step over that line.
Be thankful for what you have.
Be thankful for the problems that you are going through. They make you stronger. They teach you things you wouldn’t have learned without going through this problem.
Be thankful for people in your life that allow you to complain to them.
Be thankful in knowing that you are never alone.
Be thankful that you have 1st world problems.
Be thankful you are alive so that you can complain about what is going on in your bubble.
0

Bears for Angel Babies

I have talked about this topic a few times but not very often. I don’t know what it’s like to go through something like this because it’s never happened to me. I am so thankful that it hasn’t but at the same time my breaks over & over again for the friends/family that have gone through this.¬†This has¬†been a thought that comes to my mind when I hear about a family/couple going through this…..I sometimes ask why haven’t I¬†expereinced this? Why must I always say just “I’m sorry”. I truly that when I say it. These women hear that sentence all the time though & I am sure they get tired of hearing it & when some people say it, their words could just empty.
I always like to stay positive about things/life. I try and find encouraging words to pass along to those that come to me during hard times. I feel honored when friends/family come to me during their hard times. This hard time leaves me speechless and I have no idea what to say to these women. My heart aches for them so much but I can never put those feelings into words. Nothing I say is going to make it better or make it easier. I so hate hearing when this happens. I just want to hug the lady so badly when I hear about this.

I want to share a dear/good friend of mines story. It’s still very fresh with her but she is wanting to get her story out. Her & I have talked about it and she feels like women need to share their story rather than leave it to yourself. I completely agree! We all have stories to share. We cannot help others who go through the same thing if we do not take that first step and share. I am not saying that you need to share right away. Once you feel ok/comfortable talking about this, then I think you need to share with anyone that will listen. You shouldn’t have to hide your true feelings. It doesn’t matter if it makes someone else uncomfortable, share anyway. If they don’t want to hear it, then they can walk away. Share your story because you never know who needs to hear it at that exact moment. I hope by sharing Nicole’s story it reaches someone who needs it. I pray that more of you ladies speak up & share. I pray that you find comfort & healing with sharing your stories. You story matters.

Hello all Mommie Ventures readers!.  Before I start writing about what I want to write about, I want to thank Trel for giving me the opportunity to write to all of you about this!

I decided to tell you about this by giving you a little about me and my situation first.¬† I recently lost twins.¬† I lost the first one on 4/27/13.¬† After I lost that baby, I immediately had a sonogram.¬† I will never forget the hope that day brought me because what I found out that day was that I was having twins.¬† I saw my second baby and his/her heartbeat!¬† It was a wonderful 120 beats per minute and the baby was measuring great.¬† Even my midwife was filled with hope.¬† Two days later, the contractions started and on 4/29/13 my second baby was born to heaven.¬† I was devastated.¬† I didn’t know what to do with myself, I didn’t know how I was going to continue living knowing that my body turned me down that hard until I joined a support group on Facebook.¬† I realized something then, when you have a full term, healthy baby there is one thing you always get and that is a special present from your loved ones.¬† They all bring you and/or the baby something.¬† A balloon, flowers, and bears.¬† Well, when you loose¬†your babies, you are brought¬†nothing.¬† You are left with not even a baby to hold.¬† You are only left with a positive pregnancy test and sometimes a sonogram.¬† The one thing you get is, ‚ÄúI am so sorry.‚Ä̬† I needed to change that.

And so, with that said, Bears for Angel Babies was born!¬† Bears for Angel Babies is a new charity that is dedicated¬†to giving as many Angel Babies the gift they didn’t get when they were born to heaven, a handmade bear free of charge.¬† I opened the Facebook page on 5/1/13 and gained about 80 likers¬†and 26 heart filled requests for bears in the matter of hours!¬† And since then, me and my fellow crocheters¬†have sent out a total of 11 bears already but the orders keep coming!¬† I was so excited, but now I am just overwhelmed too.¬† I could really use some extra support.¬† I am hoping to bring in more crocheters¬†that are open to help make some bears.¬† I also really need more monetary support to be able to keep this page going.¬† Other things that could really be helpful are yarn, patterns, and even coupons.¬† I am hoping that as the page grows there will be more and more help, but right now I am asking you to help make a difference.¬† You can donate to Bears for Angel Babies by sending a donation by clicking on this link: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=KKZ9KRR66AE3Y¬† If you would like to crochet, donate yarn, or donate coupons you can email me at xxcoco86xx2003@yahoo.com to get directions or a mailing address.¬†

I want to thank each and every one of you for reading this and at least giving Bears for Angel Babies a thought for a wonderful charity to donate to.  If you would like to see the good will being done or would just like more information, you can check us out on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/BearsForAngelBabies  Thank you again!

I also want to give a shout out to some lovely women who helped me right from the beginning.  Special thanks and a special place in my heart to: Stacy Krumel-Rhoads, Jennifer Forsberg, Bethany Wallen, Crystal Fink, Savanah Songer, Lori Luh, Carolyn Strough, Donna Neubeck, Sumi Funayama, Chelsea Ayers, Abby Haritos, Jeanette Burnett, Trel Welker and Sarah Fisher.  You all are amazing ladies and thank you so much for helping make the bears, donating when you can, and being an amazing support!

If you have questions, comments, or would like to share your story, please reach out to someone. Someone will always be there to help, support, and care about you & your babies.

0

You are enough

I have recently seen many links being shared on Facebook about being a mother and that it’s ok if things aren’t perfect. And you know what?! It’s true. Just because we aren’t like Suzie Q down the street doesn’t mean that we are less than or that our children are getting the short end of the stick. Our children don’t need things so they can have a great childhood. They don’t need the latest and greatest to have fun.

We, as parents, need to remember that if the house is still standing and your kiddos survived another day, than it was a great day!
And sometimes, this is all that happens in my house. I don’t do a darn thing other than the basics in my house…..bellies are fed and diapers are changed. I don’t always like those days but sometimes that’s all that I can do.

We aren’t going to have Martha Stewart days. Stop beating yourself up because you didn’t live up to someone else’s expectation. We are not to compare ourself with others. We are not to do/be what others do. Our little bubbles are different in some many ways than others. We have different life happenings.

What you did yesterday, do today, tomorrow, and every day after that is enough. Feed your kiddos¬†ice cream for dinner and cake for breakfast. Feed them McDonald’s on the days you don’t feel like cooking. Let them play out in the dirt and send them to bed without a bath because you are too tired/stressed/busy. I promise that they will wake up the next morning being happy.

I think that society has made it so hard for mothers (I am sure fathers too but I am focusing on mothers right now) to just enjoy their kiddos.

They have said that we have to make everything from clothes to food for them.
We have to make sure that everything is organic & if you give your child anything but than you aren’t doing your child justice.
You can’t let them get dirty or else it might mean something negative about our parenting.
We can’t¬†discipline our children or we are depriving them.
Everyone has to be a winner.
We have to stress ourselves out so much for the happiness of our children. And then we wonder where this self entitlement came from.
If you ask yourself that question about your kiddos, please stop reading and go look at yourself in mirror.

We don’t have to do anything extra for our children.
Whatever it is that you are doing, you are doing enough.

You are enough!

Stop looking at others. Stop trying to be something you are not.
We aren’t all cut out to be a working mother, stay at home mother, homeschooling mother, crafty mother, cooking/baking mother. We all have different talents and instead of trying to do what everyone else says what we need to be doing….focus on what we are good at and just be with your kiddos.

There is nothing wrong with just being with them.
We don’t need to plan every second of their life.
Just simply be with them.

If you fixed breakfast/lunch/dinner/snack out of a box. You are enough.
If you go to the store & don’t buy something for your child.¬†You are¬†enough.
If you had your child without brushing their teeth/hair before bed. You are enough.
If your house is messy & you are having a great time with your kiddos. You are enough.
If you go to bed without cleaning the kitchen, vacuuming, laundry, whatever else. You are enough.

There is nothing wrong with what you are/aren’t doing.
I am so tired of this stupid debate that others want to keep having.
Your worth has a parent¬†isn’t because of what you buy, what activities your kids are in, if your child has a tantrum in public, or because you step on legos because they weren’t picked up.
Worry about the values, ethics, and character that you are giving your children.
Things go away, awards tarnish, and beauty fades.
Memories. Values. Ethics. Character. That’s what stays and will give your child a great childhood.

Your worth as a mother isn’t what you buy for your kiddos.

Relax. Smile. Have fun with your kiddos.
You are enough.

0

Daniels Fast – Day 21

(This was yesterday but I ran out of day before I could get this up)

We did it! We both went 21 days without some of our favorite foods/drinks in order to get closer to God and stay in prayer! Woohoo!

First thing Mister did this morning was make a cup of coffee ūüôā

Like I have said before some prayers are being answered right away and others haven’t yet. But one that we have both been praying about has come forward. We are pretty sure that we know the answer and what needs to be done. Thanks to friends for passing along the information to Mister!
I don’t want to go into details yet about anything because nothing is set and we still need to do some work. Things are looking brighter and I am so thankful that I went through this.

This isn’t for everyone and I think you will be told by Him when you need to do something like this. It isn’t easy and you will get discouraged. But if we put our wants behind God’s needs, then things open up that you never would have thought! We are here to praise & serve Him, not the other way around.

I have always paid attention in church and listened to what the message was but lately I have been told to really listen and take notes. So that’s what I have been doing. Our pastor makes live events on YouVersion Bible app & I have been emailing¬†those to myself, taking notes, and really paying attention. It has opened my eyes more and I feel led to not only listen more but put into place what I have been hearing.
And it’s not that I haven’t tried doing this very thing in the past but I am coming at all of this with a different mindset, heart, and eyes/ears more open. It’s amazing what you do when you listen to what God is telling you to do! This is also hard and it’s something that I wanted to do but never really fully did what He was telling me to do. It’s a very hard thing to do something that you absolutely do NOT want to do but know in your heart that you need to. Sometimes you need to do what God is telling you and it’s not for you at all. You may need to give something to bless someone else with. Either way, you need to listen to Him. You may need reap what you sow right at that moment. It may take¬†days, weeks, months, or years from then to reap but you must do it anyway.

We aren’t here to satisfy¬†our wants/desires while we are here. I know that most people and society¬†are shoving that theory down our throats but it’s just not true. We are to worship the Lord and be the salt of the Earth. We are to share His gospel with others & share our stories with others. Those stories aren’t supposed to be filled with rainbows, sunshine, and butterflies. We are going to go through hard times and we will fall down. But the greatest thing of all is that He is there the entire time and will help us when He knows he need it. He never lets us down even when we think He isn’t there. He never gives up on us even if we have given up on Him. Believe me when I say that I have been there and done that & I am sure that I will go through all that again. I am human and I do get caught up in my moments. I have been through some really hard & dark times. I will be happy to share these times with anyone that asks.

No matter what you are going through, things can always get/be worse. You can change things around whenever¬†you want. The only thing that you cannot change is death. Once anyone steps into that, there is no looking back. As long as you are alive you have another chance. There are plenty¬†of versions of the Bible out there that you can choose from. Go out there and find the best one for you. You don’t have to tell anyone that you are even looking at a Bible let alone tell them that you are reading it. You have to do this for yourself because when each of our times come, and they will, you be judged by your actions….no one else’s. You won’t be judged as a couple or family. You must follow what He tells you to do no matter what!

I promise your life will change for the better if you do that. If you have questions, please contact your local church, me, someone you trust that will help you with these answers. All you have to do is take that first step. You can do it!

I will definitely be doing this again when I feel led. This experience has changed my outlook on things. Will I revert to my old ways? You bet! But I can reject those thoughts/feelings now that I am stronger & deeper into my faith and walk with God. Reach your hand out…..someone will always be there to meet you.