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I’m a selfish best friend

Disclaimer: this is my pity party. I am writing this the same day that I received the news. This will be published days after the news was broke to me. I know this makes me sound incredibly selfish and not a very good best friend at all but this is how I honestly feel. This is me being real with my initial feelings about this. Will I always feel like this? No. Will it take time? Yes. (This was written on 11/24/14). 

 

My mind is all over the place, my heart is broken, there’s a constant lump in my throat, and tears ready to run down my face at any given moment.

^ This is how I’ve been feeling all day today since this morning when my best friend told me that she was moving. I feel like kicking and screaming and demanding that she isn’t allowed to do this to me.

I’ve always had friends. I don’t ever remember a time that I didn’t have friends. Friends come and go. Some stay for awhile and some are gone as fast as they developed. Some make us stronger, some make smarter, and some make us better. I’ve had all kinds of friends. I’ve had great friends and I’ve had friends that have stabbed me in the back. I have a few friends that I call real friends. A few that are best friends. And even fewer friends that I call family. This girl is family.

I’ve  only met this friend a little over a year ago. I didn’t even know she existed until September (maybe) of 2013. We’ve grown close fast and I wouldn’t trade any of what I’ve been through with her…..even if it meant she wouldn’t move. I feel like a little girl who’s friend is moving and they just cry and cry.

I was so shocked when I read the Facebook message from her. At first I wondered why she didn’t tell me in person but on the other hand I was glad she didn’t because I probably would have started crying. And not the pretty cry either, the dreaded ugly cry. As thrilled as I am for her & her family (and I truly am), I would like nothing better than if everything just fell apart & they ended up staying here. I know that is incredible selfish of me. I know that no best friend really wants this to happen. I know that this is part of Gods plan for them. I know that I want the best for the her (and her family), even if that means I can’t be apart of her daily life anymore.

There was so much that I was looking forward to doing with her and her new born daughter. Our girls are only 4 months apart. I thought we were going to raise them together. I thought they’d grow up together and be bffs. I am now having to put my wants aside and plan new things.

(I know all this may sound pathetic to some that I am this upset about my friend moving but there are those few friends who mean so much more than just another friend.)

She’s only moving two hours away, so day visits aren’t out of the question. I would get to visit a city that I’ve never been to. Those are the only positives that I can find right now. Plus, I’m the only one here that knows she’s moving. I can’t even have a pity party with our other friends about this! It’s going to happen so quickly too. They are planning on being moved and settled into their new lives by the first of the year. I won’t have time to process much of this by the time she gone.

And my 2 year old. My 2 year old daughter absolutely loves her. Tells me she wants her all the time. The smile and happiness that spreads all over her face when she sees her Gigi is irreplaceable. I hope she takes this news better than I am. Plus side is, again, she’s only two hours away.

Im still trying to process what I was told, the time in which it’s happening, and the fact that she won’t be here anymore. Why now? Why this fast?

I have other friends and best friends here in this town & I don’t want any of them moving and would be just has upset if they told me this news. I thought our circle would be here forever and we’d raise our kiddos together and be old before our circle was broken up. I am just so sad. But I know these plans aren’t mine and they aren’t even hers, they are His and they are perfect.

I will miss you so much friend.

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Wanna play a game!?

She has asked me to help manage her page during the day, which I feel so honored that she asked me, and I want to help her out with sales as much as I can.
So I asked her & ran an idea by her last night about what I had in mind. She said she thought it was a good idea, so now we just have to start the details.

I wanted to help spread the word about the game & share with you all too so if you were interested or know someone who might be you could tell them about it.

We do know that we will be giving away discounts, bogo, and gift certificates as prizes!
We will do trivia questions. With each question there will be an equal prize.

Easy answers get smaller prizes & harder questions get bigger prizes.
I am hoping that maybe we can do this monthly to keep fans coming back & sales up on her end.
Plus this is going to be fun!!!!

So if you want to play, please follow this link to join in! Spread the word too 🙂

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Someone always has it worse than you

This statement is true.
This statement will always be true.

A friend of mine on fb posted a status the other day talking about how the next time you want to whine/complain about something, think about those who are going through something serious.

Welp I am officially tired of Dr. offices! And with the scare I am dealing with I am amazed at people on facebook that complain over the tiniest little things! “I have a headache”, “I cant sleep”, “I’m tired of the cold.” I’m not calling myself perfect but I am DEFANTLY not going to complain about anything that is small just to get pity ever again! This seriously saddens me, especially when most o…f the things you complain about YOU CAN FIX!! It’s time for you to LIVE not complain. Live for yourself, your babies, your family, your friends, and your future! Sometimes people have life altering experiences and life changing experiences and those people don’t give a DAMN about your headache they are just happy to see the next day when they wake up! Next time you complain think about someone who has it way way worse then you! *END OF RANT*
I absolutely agree with her. No matter what you are going through someone is always going through something worse. Some people would gladly take your situation over the one they are in, in a heart beat!
With that being said, it’s not always easy to remember this in those moments. I think we all want a pity party about what we are going through. I think it’s almost normal. I think that we need to take time to have a pity party…it’s part of the process.
What I don’t think we need to do is always air it for the world to see/hear. Sometimes it does some good, but you know what I am talking when people cross that line.
I know that for myself I need to have a pity party, feel sorry for myself, and then deal with whatever is going on. When I don’t do this I sometimes end up stuffing inside and then every little thing makes me 100x madder than it normally would.
I also know that we all live in our own bubbles. We feel for people and have empathy for others going through things/hard times. But I think it’s hard to put ourselves in their shoes especially if it’s not something that they have been through before. We don’t always think about others & their problems during our day to day shuffle. We don’t always think of others problems until we are actually sitting and not doing anything or when they bring it back up to you. It’s not that we don’t care about what’s going on in your bubble, it’s just that our bubble is crazy too….just with different crazy things.
We also shouldn’t compare our bubble with other peoples’ bubble. They will never be the same & it’s a waste of time to compare. Not that we shouldn’t have empathy towards others, but it’s absolutely pointless to compare.
Someone will always have it worse than you.
Someone will always have it better than you.
Someone will always have a pity party.
Someone will always step over that line.
Be thankful for what you have.
Be thankful for the problems that you are going through. They make you stronger. They teach you things you wouldn’t have learned without going through this problem.
Be thankful for people in your life that allow you to complain to them.
Be thankful in knowing that you are never alone.
Be thankful that you have 1st world problems.
Be thankful you are alive so that you can complain about what is going on in your bubble.
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Job hunting

This part is never easy whether you are moving to a new area or have been in the same area for 15 years. Nothing is ever certain until you get that phone call saying ‘We want to hire you’.

In less than a week after finally making it to Wichita Falls, Mark had 3 job offers on the table. All working for a dealership as a mechanic. They tell you they will get in touch with you after a days to let you know their descion….but we all know that it could take longer andor they never get back in touch with you. So it was a nerve racking few days to see who would call him first.

Thursday evening Mark had his 3rd interview that he was going to. He left me the phone since we were at the lake. I heard the phone ring but didn’t bother getting out of the lake just to see who called…..figured if it was important they would leave a message. When we were finished up at the lake I checked the phone….2 missed calls & 2 voicemails. It was from one for the dealerships that Mark had an interview at. I couldn’t wait for Mark to check them, so I went ahead and checked. The man didn’t give anything away as to which way he was leaning with either hiring Mark or not. All he said was to have Mark call him when he got a chance.

When Mark returned from his interview I let him know that someone called for him and that he wanted him to call him back. Just as I finished up my sentence, the man called again! He was offering Mark the job! This dealership is the one Mark wanted to work at the most & was happy when he got the job! Mark started Friday & really liked it. He gets one Saturday off a month and works 5 days one week & 5 12 days the next….that rotates every week. He gets paid every Friday. He is looking forward to growing and staying with this dealership for a long time!

We thank God for everything that he has provided us…especially this job!