0

For the love, stop saying sorry!

This may be a short rant or a long drawn out thing…ya just never know with me!

We, moms & women, need to stop saying sorry all the time. I cannot count how many times a picture is posted and the first few words are

Sorry for my non-make up face. 

Sorry for the clothes in the background. 

Sorry for my messy hair. 

Sorry for my kids fave being messy. 

Sorry for this. 

Sorry for that.

Stop saying sorry! No one would’ve even noticed those things of you wouldn’t have brought them up yourself. And even if they did, who cares. Why are we apologizing for these things?! 

Are we really sorry for these things? Do we think there is a certain way we/our kids/our house/our car has to look in order to share a milestone or event or just a cute kiddo face?! 

Why is it that a friend cannot come over to your house without you feeling the need to apologize for the way your house looks?! I mean, you have kids for crying out loud! I’m not coming over to your house to inspect it….I’m coming over to spend time with you. 

Same applies with your car. Who cares?! 

I am so fend up with hearing sorry come from women’s mouths when it’s not even something to be sorry about. 

sor-ry [sor’ē] adjective, feeling pity or sorrow, regret

A Students Dictionary, Dictionary Projext Inc. 

Please tell me why you are feeling pity about these things? What do you regret? 

For the love, shut up & stop saying sorry! 

You have nothing to be sorry about when you allow your natural beauty to show rather than a made up version for yourself. 

You have nothing to be sorry about when you allow your kiddos to play all around your house. 

You have nothing to be sorry about when you throw your hair in a messy bun rather than making sure every hair is in its place. 

You have nothing to be sorry about when you allow others to see the real you rather than what you think society wants to see. If you have a friend or family member who cannot understand this, then please, kick them to the curb. If they are that insecure for you about your life, can you imagine how doubly insecure they are about their own life?! Not enough popcorn for all that drama! 

Embrace yourself and life. There’s nothing wrong with letting things be messy or real or raw. Do not aplogize for living your life and putting the important things first. 

Love the mess and those who help make it! 

Advertisements
0

Lamp & Light

I follow a lady named Kristin Schmucker on instagram. Towards the end of October she announced that she was hosting a photo challenge for the month of November & I decided to jump on that and participate.

lamplight

I did get days behind and then had to play catch up but I am happy to report that I actually did all 30 days! I usually start these things and then finish them….go me!!

I was going to share the pictures from instagram to facebook but then I thought that I would just put them all here & add the description that I wrote along with it.
I don’t really know why I choose to share this way but oh well, I did!

My tattered bible along with the current bible study I’m doing.#lampandlight #day1 #imbehind#playcatchup #novemberphotochallenge#bible @kristinschmucker#kristinschmucker

Reminds me to always know that the bad that happens is to bring Him glory!#lampandlight #novemberphotochallenge#day2 #genesis50:20 #playcatchup#imbehind #favoritebibleverse@kristinschmucker #kristinschmucker

One of my favorite mugs. Given to me by a great friend as a Christmas present. Every time I use it I think of her and all the fun we have together!#novemberphotochallenge #lampandlight#day3 #mugshot @kristinschmucker#kristinschmucker

My Bible study spot…..where I’m comfortable and snuggly & if I fall asleep while studying (which happens often), I don’t have to get up and move! 😜
#lampandlight #biblestudyspot #day4#novemberphotochallenge@kristinschmucker #kristinschmucker

I have many goals that I’d like to accomplish in my life. At the end of the day I know none of that matters if I’m still the old me. It’ll take time but I know that my ultimate goal is to be a better me than I was yesterday.
#lampandlight #day5 #playingcatchup#goals

The book of Proverbs is an instructional manual in my opinion. It can tell how you act and what to say. So much wisdom is within those pages.
#lampandlight #day6 #playingcatchup#day6 #proverbs #bookinthebible

As much as they drive me questions and even question I was given an army of mini me’s, these little people have made my world better. They have taught me so much and made me step out of my comfort zone to give them a better life. I love them and they certainly my small blessings.
#lampandlight #day7 #playingcatchup#smallblessings #mykiddos

A prayer in my bible from a few years ago. #lampandlight #day8#playingcatchup #anoteinyourbibe #prayer

This is one of my favorite quotes. My dad used to say this all the time when I was growing up and it’s so true.
#lampandlight #favoritequote#playingcatchup #day9

This has been something that’s been laid upon my heart for at least 6 months, if not more. It’s something I’m praying about and asking God to tell me where and how I should do this.
#lampandlight #onyourheart#playingcatchup #day10 #titus2:3-4

This journal is one of my favorite things. A great friend gave it to me and it’s a place where I can create and draw out the Word when it touches me.
#lampandlight #afavoritething#playingcatchup #day11 #biblejournal#create #givenbyafriend

I know that I’m given grace ever second of my day but to be able to wake up every morning and start from a clean slate is the biggest sign of grace to me.
#lampandlight #areminderofgrace#playingcatchup #day12 #sunrise #grace

There are too many to list but this seems to be one of the biggest prayer requests I have right now. A house. One that will fit us more comfortably than the one we are currently in. One that we can call home.
#lampandlight #day13 #caughtup#aprayerrequest #aplacetocallhome

“We bring the kingdom come” We Christ followers are the ones who bring the kingdom to others on a daily basis. Not only do I love this lyric but I love this song!
#lampandlight #day14 #favoritelyric#webringthekingdomcome #jasongray#witheveryactoflove

A dream would be for Mister to be a stay at home dad with me.
#lampandlight #day15 #dream#stayathomedad #stayathomeparents#freedom #timeandmoney

My memory today is my grandparents on my moms side. I miss them much and it saddens me to no end at what they are missing out on. I’d give almost anything to have them back!
#lampandlight #memory #grandparents#wishtheywerestillhere #mcgrew#missthem #lovethem

 These two things are always on my to do list. There are others but laundry & dishes take most of my time.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day17#todolist


 I love her story and think she is a great example of what you do doesn’t define you & anyone can change.
#lampandlight #characterinthebible #day18#rahab

Nature can give us signs of life & death but has a way of making it look so beautiful. It’s almost thanksgiving and though most trees are turning and leaves are falling, they still are so green! And that blue sky….I just love me a Texas clear blue sky!
#lampandlight #day20 #nature #texassky#fall #trees #lifeanddeath #beautiful

When I study scripture or just read my Bible, I have my purple pen, Bible, and my journal. I never know when a verse will hit me and I want to be ready to journal it.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day21#howistudyscripture

I have to be honest and say that I haven’t read Psalms enough to have a favorite verse from this book. Think I know what book I’ll be reading next!
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day22#favoritepsalms #bookofpsalms


This is a book that helped me to be involved where I feel led/called to be involved in. I’ve cut out the ‘extras’ and just concentrating on my calling.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day23#abook #calling #thebestyes#lysaterkeurst


  This word is one that I’ve taken to heart over these last few months to a year & a half. My joy cannot and will it be stolen by anyone or any situation that life throws me. I choose joy. Bad things can happen but my joy still remains.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day24#joy #cantstealmyjoy #ichoosejoy

This will always be home to me. I’ve lived in many places but Virginia will always have a special place in my heart.
#lampandlight #day25 #myhome #virginia#specialplaceinmyheart


  
Me! You! We are all attributes of God. We are made in His image!
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day27#anattributeofgod #me #you#madeinhisimage
  This is so true and definitely something I’m thankful for!
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day26#whatimthankfulfor #friends #family

   We are mixed up, crazy, tired, annoying, real, and all of this equals a beautiful mess.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day28#abeautifulmess #welkerfamily #family#welkerkiddos #welker


  It took awhile to figure out how we were going to announce that we were expecting baby number 6 but I love how this turned out. Things can change with one step (literally & figuratively) and our step was adding two more feet to our family.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day29#aphotoilove
PS- just want to say that I am NOT pregnant. I tried to word it so it explained a previous pregnancy announcement but it didn’t come across that way.
I’ve been saying this for as long as I can remember & it’s so true.
#lampandlight #day30 #wordstoliveby

 

There is my 30 day photo challenge! Hope you enjoyed it…..let me know if you did this one too! Now onto my December challange!!!<<<<Let me know if you will do this one with me!

0

Who am I?

Well, this can/is a hard question to answer. I had a friend on Facebook post who she was. Take her or leave her kinda thing. I imagined she felt freer after she posted it. Maybe those in her life found out things they didn’t know. Loved her more for putting herself out there. I’m not exactly sure why but ever since I read her post, I wanted to do the same. Lay myself out there. Not one person knows all of me. This post won’t allow you to see all of me but it’ll give you more than you probably already know. I have no idea why I feel the need to share any of this with you, but when I am told to do something, I suck it up and listen. I might add that I don’t listen immediately but I try to follow Him and His nudges. 

I can tell you my name. I can tell you what I do. I don’t necessarily think those things define who I am. 

My name is Trel. 

I am a mother, daughter, wife, aunt, daughter in law, granddaughter, friend, sister, step sister, step daughter, niece. 

I clean dishes, wash clothes, wash dishes, heal boo-boos, read stories, play games, listen to problems, fix problems, play dress-up, color, cook meals, and much more. 

But who am I? What do I like? What are my passions? Weakness? Strength? What makes me laugh? Makes me angry? Calms me? What do I believe? Who do I believe in?

I may not know 100% what all these answers are or have more than a few answers, but I do know one thing about myself. I’m complicated. I don’t always understand why I do/feel/think what I do. 

Here are things that I do know about myself:

I love with all I have. I’m a jealous person. I forgive when others tell me I deserve not too. I anger easily. I laugh at inappropriate times. I am inappropriate. I hold back when I should give all. I can be rough. I hurt others. I miss those not in my life deeply. I don’t so well with change. I shove my sadness and frustration down until I just explode. I can tell you all day long how to do something or how to handle a situation but I cannot always practice what I preach. I have the mouth of a sailor most days. I regret. I love to help people. I crave being with my friends and mister. I don’t appreciate what I have. I take my bubble for granted. I suck at admitting I’m wrong. Even harder for me to say I’m sorry. I get clingy but hold back. I start to question things when my friendships reach a certain point. I would do more if I had more to give. I need a partner, I am not good being a leader by myself. I fail daily. I believe in God. I am a Christ follower. I believe what the Bible says. I believe that there is only one way to heaven. I believe everyone has the free will to choose what they believe. My actions/words do not always match my beliefs. When I’m hurting, you probably wouldn’t even know it. I’m good at putting on a smile. I’m a horrible liar, my face will tell on me. I cannot eat/drink something I do not like. No matter how full my life/plate is, I want to help others. I take tons of notes that I, usually, never look at again. My anxiety is ridiculous. Organization calms me. But you wouldn’t know it with the way my house looks. My children have taught me more than I could have ever imagined. I am slapped in the face daily by them…not always a bad thing. I fail them daily. I hope I don’t have to pay for therapy in their future. They make me become more filter less. More courageous. They have made myself build a stronger backbone. My nonsense meter is very low. I have no room for drama in my life…my children’s drama is enough. I am ungrateful. My thanks aren’t enough.  I am forgiven. My mistakes don’t outweigh my worth. Tomorrow is always a new day. The next week/day/hour/minute is another chance for me to be better. I am the least perfect and put together person you will meet. I am a mess. I don’t have all the answers….though my life would be easier if I did. I’m not proud of my past but it’s part of my story. I won’t know what I have until it’s gone though I pray I don’t wait that long to ‘get it’. I trust too quickly but not as quickly as I used to. I’m nice to everyone but I don’t like everyone. If you could hear my inner voice and the goings on of my brain, you would be frightened. I am crazy. I think too much. I like to but if put in a corner, I will fight to the death. I’m impatient. I have to check myself before I wreck myself….daily. I am messy. I talk a hundred miles a minute. I get depressed. I have high highs. I am just a mess trying to do my best and please God. I eat too much. I am so thankful I’m not allergic to chocolate. 

This is me (and more than what I can verbally say). Take me or leave me. I’m not here to please you or make you happy. I don’t apologize for who I am but I am working on making me better. There is always more of me you don’t know or understand (I don’t even understand most days). 

This is me. Trel. 

0

Sidekick update

Well it’s been a week since I had my genius idea and I’d say it’s working out pretty good! Last week was easier than this current week simply because we didn’t have anywhere to be. I’m glad that I’m having to figure out how to get what I need done while it’s still summer though. Good practice! 

I highlight what I get accomplished from my list. Last week was bright yellow!

  
 This week….I have a few yellow dots. 

  
Again, I’m learning to be ok with that. I just try and move whatever I didn’t accomplish to the next day. Laundry is something that I’m trying to get done no matter what else is going on that day. I do 2 loads a day, 6 days a week, so laundry is definitely something that I cannot get behind on! Has long has its been washed and dried then I’m ok with that. My goal is to actually have it put away and then I mark it has being finished. 

Anyway, this post isn’t about laundry! 

I’m really liking that everything is all there. I don’t have a notebook for a shopping list, chores, phone calls, and whatever else. It’s all in one and makes toting it around much easier. I’ve already started writing down ideas for what my next sidekick will contain. I will start putting it together in December to get ready for the new year and so that it will coincide with my 2016 planner. 

Overall it’s working out great! I’m glad that the idea came to me and I didn’t push it aside. I go to bed feeling good about what was accomplished and, most, mornings I don’t wake up with all this weight on my shoulders filled with lists and to dos and all that jazz. 

I’m excited and looking forward to continuing this new habit and putting together one for 2016! Cannot wait to update and show you!

0

Meal planning…long overdue update

Well, I think it’s been about a year (or close to) that I started posting about my meal planning routine. I don’t even remember what I talked about or what that routine was. 

Since starting my MP sidekick and seeing that we weren’t planning our meals very well (again), I knew it was time to start putting effort into this again. The only thing I forgot to do was keep track of the budget. I’ll be sure to do that for he next time. 

Since its summer time, I’m now having to include breakfasts and lunches into my planning. I like variety so I knew we couldn’t just have cereal or sandwiches all the time, boooooring! We do have these but it’s not on an every day basis. 

I have 9 breakfast items and 5 lunch items that I just in rotation. There’s no reason that I need to become a Pinterest mom for these meals. They are fed and that’s all that matters. 

Dinner is where I will try need recipes or something that we haven’t had in awhile. Dinner is where we are choosing to not do a rotation. Mister and I have decided that we don’t want to get burned out for these meals. For some reason breakfast and lunch doesn’t bother us, it’s just dinner where we don’t want the same thing over and over again. 

I plan out meals two weeks in advance. I shop a week at a time and buy any produce we may need the day before we will use it. We waste too much money buying the produce before we need it and it ends up going bad and is having to buy it again. That’s frustrating and is dipping into our budget that we, honestly, cannot afford to keep doing. Now I just have to remember to make a habit out of checking for the produce items the day before. 

Here is what my meal planning looks like:

   

First I feel the need to say that the meal doesn’t have to be on the date it’s written for. This used to be the way it had to be! I would get upset and start to panic a bit (sounds so silly when I say it out loud) when the meal wasn’t made on the date that it was written for. As much as it still drives me crazy, I don’t freak out about it if I have to move meals around. 

The highlighted meals are the ones we’ve eaten. That’s just so I can keep track of the food and meals. 

When I write out the shopping list, I just go meal by meal. If I need more than one of something, I try not to write it twice but instead do this: bread x4. That way when I go to the aisle this item is in, I don’t have to scan the whole list, I can just look to see how many I need. 

So far this is working for me. Keep in mind I’ve only been doing this for a week. I really want to keep it up and make this out normal instead of trying new technic and new technic……ain’t nobody got time for that!

I figured I would update after a week and I think I’ll do another update after I’ve been doing this for a month. Next time though I will include the budget, if I can remember 😜

0

#365daysofthanks – 1/365

Today is January 1st, 2015. The first day (technically night as of right now) of a brand new year. Today starts 365 days of me saying what I’m thankful for for an entire year. I’m really hoping to complete this. I’ve started things before but have never finished it. I want to complete this! (Here is my original post of where this started)

Today I am thankful that I have started reading to my kiddos every night. We started on the first book of a series that no one had read before. We are now on book 4. Not only do I look forward to this time with them, my kiddos do also. My two year old will ask throughout the day “read?” I love that they are enjoying this.

I picked up about 3 books each for the kiddos at the library and told them that when they wanted to read them to do so. They’ve actually been doing it! I help B & C read their books and read Lily her books. I absolutely love reading and books! I have yet to have any interest in getting a nook or kindle. I love having a book in my hand. To turn the pages. To smell the pages of a new book. Those are things that I cannot get from a piece of plastic.

I am just thankful to have this time with them every night and that they are enjoying it as much as I am.

0

No yelling, Day 1

I was too tired to update last night, so you’ll probably get two posts today….lucky you 😉

Yesterday was a fail. I am always good until the kiddos get home from school. I think that’s just because there is so much going on with so many people at one time between homework/school folders and snack time. They are all done with school & I want to get folders and homework taken care of. So in less words, our agendas don’t match.

Yesterday’s frustration started on our way home from school. We walk from the school (like a 10 minute walk) and it never fails that one kiddo whines about it. Well yesterday C-man had his tantrum about walking home. He pulled on my hand, let go, and then landed on the ground. I don’t play these games so I kept walking. He sat on the ground yelling at me that he hated me. I turned around, told him that I wasn’t waiting for him, to watch what he was saying to me, and kept walking. I guess he didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t entertaining this tantrum and got up to catch up with us. That’s where it started for me.

C-man also had a bit of homework that he needed to make up from missing school all last week. He started acting up doing this. I get that he didn’t want to do it all & I wasn’t going to make him do it all in one day. I was trying to be firm with him about just getting some done & to stop acting the way he was. I am not completely sure that I was yelling but I sounded louder than I wanted to be in my head.
Then as I was making dinner I was getting frustrated because no matter how many times I make it or what temperature I have the stove-top on, I (almost) always burn a grilled cheese sandwich! Never fails this happens. This is what we were having for dinner and my frustration was getting bigger. Now that I am typing it out, it seems so silly that I was getting that upset about making a grilled cheese sandwich.

Get it together woman!!

C-man had an issue with what was for dinner and Emma wasn’t having it that she wasn’t being held by me, and a few kiddos were complaining that their tummy was hurting.
Ok, so dinner was done, pjs were getting on, and then a kiddo coughed & threw up. Great. Another one down with the stomach bug. So I had to clean up the floor while trying to tell Bailea to stay in her room & that she had to wait a minute for whatever it was she wanted and trying to tell Mister that he needed to keep the dogs outside longer so that I could clean up.
I wasn’t upset with Dom that he had gotten sick on the floor, I was upset about the situation. I tried very hard to keep everyone else away from Mister when he came home sick with the stomach bug last week. Apparently my efforts failed.

I was just beyond frustrated at this point and let out a loud ‘AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH’
And then I felt a little better.

I just needed to sit for awhile and just mindlessly be on Facebook or play those dumb games I have on my phone to just chill out. It worked and then I went to bed.

I will save what has happened this morning for the post later tonight!

0

I’m tired of hearing myself yell…..and I’m sure everyone else is too

I’ve heard myself say this to myself, and I’m sure out loud also, so many times.

I’m so tired of hearing myself yell. I don’t like to do it and it wears me out and it’s in(un)affective and no ones ears enjoy it.

I’m a yeller by nature. I have no idea why. I honestly don’t know if I’ve always been this way or it’s been a progression since having a big family.

Logically, I know that yelling isn’t going to fix, help, or change anything or anyone. I could yell until I have no voice and I know things wouldn’t change. If I know all this then the next question would be, then why do I still do it?

For a fact I know that I out of frustration. I yell because I feel like I’m not being heard. I yell because I don’t know what else to do. Well, let’s be honest here, I do know other ways to handle things but I don’t always take a step back, breath, and then address whatever is going on. It’s the ‘in the moment’ thing that I don’t think all the way. I don’t stop and think (something I should probably do considering I tell this to my kids all. the. time.). I react. And then I wonder why in never works. I wonder why I feel guilty after having a yell-fest. I wonder why I’m apologizing to my kiddos all the time. You’d think by now I would’ve thought of a better way of handling this or would have changed my ways by now. But no, no I haven’t. I’ve also noticed that instead of spending all this time working on me & my ways, I’ve just kept saying ‘well if the kids wouldn’t act/say what they do, then I wouldn’t have to yell’. So basically, I’m blaming my kiddos because I would rather point the finger at someone else than swallow that pride pill, own up to my fault, and work on this.

#momfail

I’ve tried this before about 2-3 years ago. I don’t remember it lasting that long. I do remember feeling less stressed. My nerves weren’t shot by the end of the day. I remember my kiddos weren’t yelling at each other either. I remember not feeling like a hypocrite when I’d tell my kiddos to stop yelling, while yelling at them (1+1 doesn’t equal 2 here).  My kiddos are older then they were before and I can tell them to hold me accountable with this also.

I’m not going to yell for 1 week. No yelling, period. Not even if I’m on one side of the house and need/want a kiddo. No yelling means no yelling. I’m going to come here and vent my frustration, everyday for this week.

Will it be difficult? Yes, considering that I don’t go 1 day without yelling now. I know that I can do. I know that I have to do it, not only for me but (most importantly) for my kiddos.

Fingers crossed for day 1!

0

#reallifemommiemoments

Happy Friday!

Now, onto a mom rant!

For the past few weeks I have been volunteering up at my local library (been enjoying it more than I thought!) and haven’t had the time to do much around the house. Once I get home from the library, it’s time to get the kiddos from school, then it’s on to homework, dinner, usually some extracurricular activity, story (if time allows), and then bed time for the kiddos. I am exhausted, to say the least, by this time. I usually try to clean up from dinner, get a load in the dishwasher going, and a load in the washing machine before heading to bed myself.

Well this past week I haven’t been able to get up to the library due to having either a sick Mister and/or sick kiddos. This means that I’ve been home more this week but I still haven’t accomplished anything. My house is still a mess, laundry (clean & dirty) is still piled a mile high. Dishes are piling up faster than I can keep up. My mop & broom have put in for their retirement because they haven’t been put to work in so long. At least the trash is being taken care of! We have our tree but there’s nothing on it yet and it’s not even in the spot we want it. (How many more days until it’s too late to put it up?!)

I am just a whiny cracky mess lately.

As I sit here writing this trying to get my two year old to listen, cross my fingers that my 4 month old enjoys her swing long enough for me to write this, and make sure my two sickies are taken care of all I can think about is none of this will matter next week, month, year. None of this chaos is going to traumatize anyone (well maybe the mop & broom when they figure out they can’t retire). The mess will always be there. Laundry means my family has clothes. Dishes mean my family has full bellies. My dogs mean that we are in a spot where we can enjoy family pets. And Christmas will always come back around. I try (and it’s very hard for me most times) to focus on the well being of my family rather than the look. By look I don’t mean that I don’t care if they are dirty/bathed/combed kinda thing. What I mean by look is that I am not trying to portray my family as something it’s not. My house isn’t spotless. My house is used/lived in, not a display case. I have little people running/over taking my home 95% of the day. A spotless house is on my list but it’s many years done the line. What is at the top of my list is that my family is alive, healthy, and the house is still standing by the end of the day. Whatever I can get done in between those things is just a bonus.
This is also something that drives me crazy! I want to have a spotless house with a white picket fence and a tire swing hanging from the tree. I want things organized and in it’s place. I want to walk through my house without stepping/tripping over something. I want to be able to open my front door and not feel the need to apologize for what it looks like. I cannot wait for the day what I want happens.

Until that day comes, if ever, I will do my very best with what I can do now. It’s not your house nor your life. It’s different, not wrong. We all have some sort of chaos going on in our life.

For now I will try to push aside all this stress and frustration and overwhelmingness that I have because my list isn’t getting done & my house looks like a mess &&&&&…..

I will take one moment at a time. It’s all I can do since my plans never fall in place and never go the way that I want them to. Let me get through sick kiddos. Let me survive until nap time. Let me have a clean plate to eat lunch off of. Let me go because I am praying that wasn’t the school that just left a message telling me I have another kiddo sick!

3

#30daysofthanks

You all know this hashtag by now, I mean it is the end of November.

I think that I always jump on this bandwagon every year. I don’t think there’s ever been a year that I actually completed 30 days. And seeing the lack of posts in my newsfeed by the end of the month, I’m not the only one. They say 21 days makes a habit but I can never make it that far into the month, ha!

So, if I don’t finish my #30daysofthanks, does that mean I’m not thankful!?

Absolutely not!

I think we should be thankful for everything, everyday. I know that more people are than aren’t. I understand why it’s more focused on in November. This time of year brings to our attention why we should be thankful for what we have and how great our lives actually are. Our focus kinda gets put on the back burner the other 95% of the year. I can totally see how and why that happens. Life happens. Life gets in the way. Our lives are our bubbles and sometimes the things that happen in our bubble are just so consuming that we forget to look outside our bubble. What happens in my bubble may not be a big deal in your bubble and vice versa. We tend to not be as merry and bright the rest of the year. We don’t put as much emphasize on giving and others the rest of the year.

Or maybe you & your family does. I know that our daily events get in the way I/we forget or choose not to focus on it. I’ve got a lot going on in my life daily that I’d rather not think of everyone else’s problems. As harsh as that may sound, it’s true and I know I’m not the only that thinks like this. It’s not meant to be mean or offensive to anyone but it is the truth.

Let me be real with you right now. My attitude, words, and thoughts have been anything but thankful these couple of days, almost a week. I see myself being thankful in certain moments or when things go a certain way. I’m seeing that I’m not so thankful when those moments aren’t going my way or something unexpectedly happens that throws a wrench in my plans. I have been spewing words of anger, hate, and just plain nasty words to my family. This is not ok. This isn’t me being the best me that I can be. This isn’t me setting a good example for my children. This isn’t me being a safe/happy place for my family to enjoy. I’m wallowing in my own self pity and getting so mad about something that won’t even matter next week. And if it will matter next week, it’s not even a big deal. I am not liking this side of me at all. I feel awful and horrible about how I’ve been treating my family and the words that have been coming out of my mouth. I am ashamed and would be embarrassed if anyone overheard me.

 

And so because of this, I am giving myself a challenge. You can join me if you’d like, you can help hold me accountable, you can just simply read my posts, or you can do nothing. All are acceptable and perfectly fine for you.

Starting January 1, 2015 I am going to be posting what I am thankful for every day for 365 days. It seems like a big task and. Bit overwhelming. I mean, I can’t even post for 30 days what I’m thankful for, what makes me think that I can do 365? I have no idea! But I am going to challenge myself. This is something that I am doing for myself and no one else. I’m not proving anything to anyone. The one reason I am making a public statement is, mostly, for accountability. Plus, I know someone else out there will need to check their attitude & words also. I’m not the only person out there having this negative nancy on their shoulder.

Im putting a stop to it before it gets too far out of hand. I’m the only person that can control this. I’m the only person that can make myself change. I cannot do it for anyone else but myself. I’m sure that by the end I will be a happier person.

Will I have days where I don’t want to find the good and be thankful for something? Yes. Will it be hard to come up with so many things? Sure. Will I miss a day? Or two? Probably! In the end though, it’s not about how many days in a row I did this. Or how many days in a row I missed. It’s a heart thing. It’s a happy heart thing. It’s always about the heart. Good and evil. It’s a heart and mindset kinda thing.

Let’s change our hearts & minds so that we can become the change we want to see I our spouses, kiddos, family members, friends, and communities. Sounds super cheesy, I know.

But I also know that it’s true.