Now, onto a mom rant!
For the past few weeks I have been volunteering up at my local library (been enjoying it more than I thought!) and haven’t had the time to do much around the house. Once I get home from the library, it’s time to get the kiddos from school, then it’s on to homework, dinner, usually some extracurricular activity, story (if time allows), and then bed time for the kiddos. I am exhausted, to say the least, by this time. I usually try to clean up from dinner, get a load in the dishwasher going, and a load in the washing machine before heading to bed myself.
Well this past week I haven’t been able to get up to the library due to having either a sick Mister and/or sick kiddos. This means that I’ve been home more this week but I still haven’t accomplished anything. My house is still a mess, laundry (clean & dirty) is still piled a mile high. Dishes are piling up faster than I can keep up. My mop & broom have put in for their retirement because they haven’t been put to work in so long. At least the trash is being taken care of! We have our tree but there’s nothing on it yet and it’s not even in the spot we want it. (How many more days until it’s too late to put it up?!)
I am just a whiny cracky mess lately.
As I sit here writing this trying to get my two year old to listen, cross my fingers that my 4 month old enjoys her swing long enough for me to write this, and make sure my two sickies are taken care of all I can think about is none of this will matter next week, month, year. None of this chaos is going to traumatize anyone (well maybe the mop & broom when they figure out they can’t retire). The mess will always be there. Laundry means my family has clothes. Dishes mean my family has full bellies. My dogs mean that we are in a spot where we can enjoy family pets. And Christmas will always come back around. I try (and it’s very hard for me most times) to focus on the well being of my family rather than the look. By look I don’t mean that I don’t care if they are dirty/bathed/combed kinda thing. What I mean by look is that I am not trying to portray my family as something it’s not. My house isn’t spotless. My house is used/lived in, not a display case. I have little people running/over taking my home 95% of the day. A spotless house is on my list but it’s many years done the line. What is at the top of my list is that my family is alive, healthy, and the house is still standing by the end of the day. Whatever I can get done in between those things is just a bonus.
This is also something that drives me crazy! I want to have a spotless house with a white picket fence and a tire swing hanging from the tree. I want things organized and in it’s place. I want to walk through my house without stepping/tripping over something. I want to be able to open my front door and not feel the need to apologize for what it looks like. I cannot wait for the day what I want happens.
Until that day comes, if ever, I will do my very best with what I can do now. It’s not your house nor your life. It’s different, not wrong. We all have some sort of chaos going on in our life.
For now I will try to push aside all this stress and frustration and overwhelmingness that I have because my list isn’t getting done & my house looks like a mess &&&&&…..
I will take one moment at a time. It’s all I can do since my plans never fall in place and never go the way that I want them to. Let me get through sick kiddos. Let me survive until nap time. Let me have a clean plate to eat lunch off of. Let me go because I am praying that wasn’t the school that just left a message telling me I have another kiddo sick!