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For the love, stop saying sorry!

This may be a short rant or a long drawn out thing…ya just never know with me!

We, moms & women, need to stop saying sorry all the time. I cannot count how many times a picture is posted and the first few words are

Sorry for my non-make up face. 

Sorry for the clothes in the background. 

Sorry for my messy hair. 

Sorry for my kids fave being messy. 

Sorry for this. 

Sorry for that.

Stop saying sorry! No one would’ve even noticed those things of you wouldn’t have brought them up yourself. And even if they did, who cares. Why are we apologizing for these things?! 

Are we really sorry for these things? Do we think there is a certain way we/our kids/our house/our car has to look in order to share a milestone or event or just a cute kiddo face?! 

Why is it that a friend cannot come over to your house without you feeling the need to apologize for the way your house looks?! I mean, you have kids for crying out loud! I’m not coming over to your house to inspect it….I’m coming over to spend time with you. 

Same applies with your car. Who cares?! 

I am so fend up with hearing sorry come from women’s mouths when it’s not even something to be sorry about. 

sor-ry [sor’ē] adjective, feeling pity or sorrow, regret

A Students Dictionary, Dictionary Projext Inc. 

Please tell me why you are feeling pity about these things? What do you regret? 

For the love, shut up & stop saying sorry! 

You have nothing to be sorry about when you allow your natural beauty to show rather than a made up version for yourself. 

You have nothing to be sorry about when you allow your kiddos to play all around your house. 

You have nothing to be sorry about when you throw your hair in a messy bun rather than making sure every hair is in its place. 

You have nothing to be sorry about when you allow others to see the real you rather than what you think society wants to see. If you have a friend or family member who cannot understand this, then please, kick them to the curb. If they are that insecure for you about your life, can you imagine how doubly insecure they are about their own life?! Not enough popcorn for all that drama! 

Embrace yourself and life. There’s nothing wrong with letting things be messy or real or raw. Do not aplogize for living your life and putting the important things first. 

Love the mess and those who help make it! 

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Lamp & Light

I follow a lady named Kristin Schmucker on instagram. Towards the end of October she announced that she was hosting a photo challenge for the month of November & I decided to jump on that and participate.

lamplight

I did get days behind and then had to play catch up but I am happy to report that I actually did all 30 days! I usually start these things and then finish them….go me!!

I was going to share the pictures from instagram to facebook but then I thought that I would just put them all here & add the description that I wrote along with it.
I don’t really know why I choose to share this way but oh well, I did!

My tattered bible along with the current bible study I’m doing.#lampandlight #day1 #imbehind#playcatchup #novemberphotochallenge#bible @kristinschmucker#kristinschmucker

Reminds me to always know that the bad that happens is to bring Him glory!#lampandlight #novemberphotochallenge#day2 #genesis50:20 #playcatchup#imbehind #favoritebibleverse@kristinschmucker #kristinschmucker

One of my favorite mugs. Given to me by a great friend as a Christmas present. Every time I use it I think of her and all the fun we have together!#novemberphotochallenge #lampandlight#day3 #mugshot @kristinschmucker#kristinschmucker

My Bible study spot…..where I’m comfortable and snuggly & if I fall asleep while studying (which happens often), I don’t have to get up and move! 😜
#lampandlight #biblestudyspot #day4#novemberphotochallenge@kristinschmucker #kristinschmucker

I have many goals that I’d like to accomplish in my life. At the end of the day I know none of that matters if I’m still the old me. It’ll take time but I know that my ultimate goal is to be a better me than I was yesterday.
#lampandlight #day5 #playingcatchup#goals

The book of Proverbs is an instructional manual in my opinion. It can tell how you act and what to say. So much wisdom is within those pages.
#lampandlight #day6 #playingcatchup#day6 #proverbs #bookinthebible

As much as they drive me questions and even question I was given an army of mini me’s, these little people have made my world better. They have taught me so much and made me step out of my comfort zone to give them a better life. I love them and they certainly my small blessings.
#lampandlight #day7 #playingcatchup#smallblessings #mykiddos

A prayer in my bible from a few years ago. #lampandlight #day8#playingcatchup #anoteinyourbibe #prayer

This is one of my favorite quotes. My dad used to say this all the time when I was growing up and it’s so true.
#lampandlight #favoritequote#playingcatchup #day9

This has been something that’s been laid upon my heart for at least 6 months, if not more. It’s something I’m praying about and asking God to tell me where and how I should do this.
#lampandlight #onyourheart#playingcatchup #day10 #titus2:3-4

This journal is one of my favorite things. A great friend gave it to me and it’s a place where I can create and draw out the Word when it touches me.
#lampandlight #afavoritething#playingcatchup #day11 #biblejournal#create #givenbyafriend

I know that I’m given grace ever second of my day but to be able to wake up every morning and start from a clean slate is the biggest sign of grace to me.
#lampandlight #areminderofgrace#playingcatchup #day12 #sunrise #grace

There are too many to list but this seems to be one of the biggest prayer requests I have right now. A house. One that will fit us more comfortably than the one we are currently in. One that we can call home.
#lampandlight #day13 #caughtup#aprayerrequest #aplacetocallhome

“We bring the kingdom come” We Christ followers are the ones who bring the kingdom to others on a daily basis. Not only do I love this lyric but I love this song!
#lampandlight #day14 #favoritelyric#webringthekingdomcome #jasongray#witheveryactoflove

A dream would be for Mister to be a stay at home dad with me.
#lampandlight #day15 #dream#stayathomedad #stayathomeparents#freedom #timeandmoney

My memory today is my grandparents on my moms side. I miss them much and it saddens me to no end at what they are missing out on. I’d give almost anything to have them back!
#lampandlight #memory #grandparents#wishtheywerestillhere #mcgrew#missthem #lovethem

 These two things are always on my to do list. There are others but laundry & dishes take most of my time.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day17#todolist


 I love her story and think she is a great example of what you do doesn’t define you & anyone can change.
#lampandlight #characterinthebible #day18#rahab

Nature can give us signs of life & death but has a way of making it look so beautiful. It’s almost thanksgiving and though most trees are turning and leaves are falling, they still are so green! And that blue sky….I just love me a Texas clear blue sky!
#lampandlight #day20 #nature #texassky#fall #trees #lifeanddeath #beautiful

When I study scripture or just read my Bible, I have my purple pen, Bible, and my journal. I never know when a verse will hit me and I want to be ready to journal it.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day21#howistudyscripture

I have to be honest and say that I haven’t read Psalms enough to have a favorite verse from this book. Think I know what book I’ll be reading next!
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day22#favoritepsalms #bookofpsalms


This is a book that helped me to be involved where I feel led/called to be involved in. I’ve cut out the ‘extras’ and just concentrating on my calling.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day23#abook #calling #thebestyes#lysaterkeurst


  This word is one that I’ve taken to heart over these last few months to a year & a half. My joy cannot and will it be stolen by anyone or any situation that life throws me. I choose joy. Bad things can happen but my joy still remains.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day24#joy #cantstealmyjoy #ichoosejoy

This will always be home to me. I’ve lived in many places but Virginia will always have a special place in my heart.
#lampandlight #day25 #myhome #virginia#specialplaceinmyheart


  
Me! You! We are all attributes of God. We are made in His image!
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day27#anattributeofgod #me #you#madeinhisimage
  This is so true and definitely something I’m thankful for!
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day26#whatimthankfulfor #friends #family

   We are mixed up, crazy, tired, annoying, real, and all of this equals a beautiful mess.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day28#abeautifulmess #welkerfamily #family#welkerkiddos #welker


  It took awhile to figure out how we were going to announce that we were expecting baby number 6 but I love how this turned out. Things can change with one step (literally & figuratively) and our step was adding two more feet to our family.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day29#aphotoilove
PS- just want to say that I am NOT pregnant. I tried to word it so it explained a previous pregnancy announcement but it didn’t come across that way.
I’ve been saying this for as long as I can remember & it’s so true.
#lampandlight #day30 #wordstoliveby

 

There is my 30 day photo challenge! Hope you enjoyed it…..let me know if you did this one too! Now onto my December challange!!!<<<<Let me know if you will do this one with me!

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Rekindling friendships 

Life is funny sometimes….well all the time if we really look at things and how it all turns out. 
We find people we click with and want to do life with them. Those relationships either continue or are broken for whatever reason. Usually when they are broken, they stay broken. Too many times it’s over something so trivial and neither party wants to swallow that hard pill….pride. Pride is not our friend y’all! 

Sometimes those relationships are broken for good reasons and they should stay broken. 
Whatever the reason your relationship is broken, really look at the problem and be honest about it with yourself. It’s so much easier to hold a grudge than it is to mend that tear in the fabric of our friendships. 

In reality, that’s not what we are called to do. We aren’t told to hold grudges or leave things messy. 

We are first and foremost called to forgive. Forgiveness isn’t for the other person, believe me when I say, it’s for ourselves. Forgiveness allows the weight of the issue to leave your shoulders and you feel 100 pounds lighter. I know this is hard and takes time but it’s something we have to do. Holding onto unforgiveness is ugly and messy….no one wants that. (Matthew 4:16)
When you lose a friend and there’s an opportunity to heal and restart, take a moment and ask yourself (and put yourself in their shoes) if it’s something you can move past. Most of the time it is. People will do is wrong, lie, cheat, steal, and hurt us to the core. That is no excuse to not forgive. Pray about your particular situation and listen for your answer. Sometimes we have to do what we’re supposed to do instead of what we want in order to be obedient to Him. 
Proverbs 17:17

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Closing chapters in our lives

Closing chapters in our lives are hard. Whether it be a job, friends, volunteering, or even family…closing those doors aren’t always something you want to do. Sometimes we have to close those doors in order to be a better us. Closing those doors could even equal us living a better life. Reducing stress, cutting the negative out, or maybe a bad influence. 
I personally feel that we should tell the person how you feel and not just cut the cord with no explanation. And then there are times that it’s just best to cut that cord. Talking to this person/people won’t make your choice better and could even make things worse. You have to pick which battle you are willing to fight in. 
Whatever door you are closing for whatever reason, we need to be asking God to give us peace with this choice. If this door is meant to be closed rather than closed because that’s just what we want, He’ll close it. We are not to force things to happen just because that’s what we want or because that’s what feels good in the moment. God is bigger than us and His plan is better than ours. 
Let’s step back for a moment (or two or ten) and wait on Him to give us the directions and actions we should do. Doing the opposite of His will for us will not just hurt us but also those around us. 
Pray. Wait. Listen. Praise.

Written on 10/21/15

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It could happen to any of us

I had a topic about closing chapters in your life that I was going to talk about tonight. Something happened today that I think needs to be talked about more. 
Our kiddos. We all have those moments/days where we want to pull our hair out because we just cannot make it one more minute with them. We all have those days when we look at our children and ask God how we got so lucky to have been given such an amazing child. Then there are the days where we don’t think about either one of those things. 

You hear on the news about horrible things happening to children and for that moment, you appreciate yours just a little bit more. Even may hug them a little tighter that night. 
We take our children for granted most of the time. I think most of us always have it in the back of our minds that those bad things won’t happen to our children. On any day at any moment, it can and will. 
Today was our day. 
One of our kiddos went missing after school. No one could find him. His teachers started looking in every unlocked room in the school. Looked all over the playground. He wasn’t there. One of his teachers even got in her car and went driving around looking for him. Time was ticking and the staff thought that the police needed to be called in order to help look for him. She printed off his yearbook picture along with our phone numbers, the schools number, and a description of what he was wearing today. Mister was on his way up to the school when he found out the police were getting involved. While all this was going on two of our friends where helping. One was helping to look around the school and the other went to our house to look for him. Once the officer arrived he collected the fliers and waited for mister to arrive. While we were waiting my friend pulled up with our kiddo in her car, she had found him! Thank God for her and for finding him! Our kiddo didn’t see me right away after school and decided to walk home. This is unlike him so I didn’t think that’s what happened. He was safe so the details didn’t matter to me. 
There will be days when he will still drive me up the wall and I’ll want to hang him by his toes. There will be days where I’ll still take him for granted. I will try my best to not take any of my kiddos for granted anymore. This had to have been one of the scariest moments of my life. Not knowing where my child was, who had him, and what was happening to him. Those thoughts take a mind of their own when something like this happens. Make an effort to back up and chill. Look at your child and just be thankful. That child could be taken from you at any moment….and it doesn’t matter how good of a parent you think you are. Love those kiddos more today than you did yesterday. Put down those walls and love them like there is no tomorrow.

Written on 10/16/15

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Rethink before reacting 

Before reacting to something we hear or see, we need to step back and make sure we aren’t creating a bigger issue by opening our mouth. Most of the time our intentions are to just clear the air or make sure someone is ok but sometimes we create a bigger issue and more drama than anything. We should stop and make sure what our motives are for wanting to tell this information. Once we figure that part out then we should take the responsible steps to correct any issue or rumor or disagreement we have. Sometimes nothing is needed to be said and that’s ok. Sometimes we just need to talk the individual. And sometimes we just need to take what we hear/see with a grain of salt. 
This is coming from my own personal experience. We all mess up sometimes and that’s ok. All we can do is apologize, ask for forgiveness, and move forward. Even though life does come with its own instruction manual….I still mess up and need to regroup. Thank God for grace!!!

Written on 10/15/15

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Dear Inner Voice

Shove it! Just shut up! 

You have not been nice to me for over 2 weeks. You haven’t had one nice thing to say to me during this time period. I don’t know why or what you are trying to accomplish but stop. 

You’ve had me doubt friendships and choices. Making me think I’m less than and being replaced. You’ve made me feel worthless and crazy. You’ve made me want to crawl in a hole and just be alone. You’ve made me feel like everyone is against me and that I’m a burden to those that care about me. You’ve made me feel bitter and hateful towards people that I normally wouldn’t feel this way. You’ve put wedges between relationships. 

You suck. I don’t like you. Where did you come from and why are you treating me this way? 

I don’t know those answers but I do know that I’m not letting you win anymore. I win. You lose. 

Tomorrow is a new day and my thoughts are going to be positive. They are going to be nice.  Encouraging. Uplifting. 

You are not invited anymore. Go bother someone else. 

I win. 

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Who am I?

Well, this can/is a hard question to answer. I had a friend on Facebook post who she was. Take her or leave her kinda thing. I imagined she felt freer after she posted it. Maybe those in her life found out things they didn’t know. Loved her more for putting herself out there. I’m not exactly sure why but ever since I read her post, I wanted to do the same. Lay myself out there. Not one person knows all of me. This post won’t allow you to see all of me but it’ll give you more than you probably already know. I have no idea why I feel the need to share any of this with you, but when I am told to do something, I suck it up and listen. I might add that I don’t listen immediately but I try to follow Him and His nudges. 

I can tell you my name. I can tell you what I do. I don’t necessarily think those things define who I am. 

My name is Trel. 

I am a mother, daughter, wife, aunt, daughter in law, granddaughter, friend, sister, step sister, step daughter, niece. 

I clean dishes, wash clothes, wash dishes, heal boo-boos, read stories, play games, listen to problems, fix problems, play dress-up, color, cook meals, and much more. 

But who am I? What do I like? What are my passions? Weakness? Strength? What makes me laugh? Makes me angry? Calms me? What do I believe? Who do I believe in?

I may not know 100% what all these answers are or have more than a few answers, but I do know one thing about myself. I’m complicated. I don’t always understand why I do/feel/think what I do. 

Here are things that I do know about myself:

I love with all I have. I’m a jealous person. I forgive when others tell me I deserve not too. I anger easily. I laugh at inappropriate times. I am inappropriate. I hold back when I should give all. I can be rough. I hurt others. I miss those not in my life deeply. I don’t so well with change. I shove my sadness and frustration down until I just explode. I can tell you all day long how to do something or how to handle a situation but I cannot always practice what I preach. I have the mouth of a sailor most days. I regret. I love to help people. I crave being with my friends and mister. I don’t appreciate what I have. I take my bubble for granted. I suck at admitting I’m wrong. Even harder for me to say I’m sorry. I get clingy but hold back. I start to question things when my friendships reach a certain point. I would do more if I had more to give. I need a partner, I am not good being a leader by myself. I fail daily. I believe in God. I am a Christ follower. I believe what the Bible says. I believe that there is only one way to heaven. I believe everyone has the free will to choose what they believe. My actions/words do not always match my beliefs. When I’m hurting, you probably wouldn’t even know it. I’m good at putting on a smile. I’m a horrible liar, my face will tell on me. I cannot eat/drink something I do not like. No matter how full my life/plate is, I want to help others. I take tons of notes that I, usually, never look at again. My anxiety is ridiculous. Organization calms me. But you wouldn’t know it with the way my house looks. My children have taught me more than I could have ever imagined. I am slapped in the face daily by them…not always a bad thing. I fail them daily. I hope I don’t have to pay for therapy in their future. They make me become more filter less. More courageous. They have made myself build a stronger backbone. My nonsense meter is very low. I have no room for drama in my life…my children’s drama is enough. I am ungrateful. My thanks aren’t enough.  I am forgiven. My mistakes don’t outweigh my worth. Tomorrow is always a new day. The next week/day/hour/minute is another chance for me to be better. I am the least perfect and put together person you will meet. I am a mess. I don’t have all the answers….though my life would be easier if I did. I’m not proud of my past but it’s part of my story. I won’t know what I have until it’s gone though I pray I don’t wait that long to ‘get it’. I trust too quickly but not as quickly as I used to. I’m nice to everyone but I don’t like everyone. If you could hear my inner voice and the goings on of my brain, you would be frightened. I am crazy. I think too much. I like to but if put in a corner, I will fight to the death. I’m impatient. I have to check myself before I wreck myself….daily. I am messy. I talk a hundred miles a minute. I get depressed. I have high highs. I am just a mess trying to do my best and please God. I eat too much. I am so thankful I’m not allergic to chocolate. 

This is me (and more than what I can verbally say). Take me or leave me. I’m not here to please you or make you happy. I don’t apologize for who I am but I am working on making me better. There is always more of me you don’t know or understand (I don’t even understand most days). 

This is me. Trel. 

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Summer funness!

Summer break just started for us and I don’t want to sit around the house for 3 months with 6 kiddos doing nothing and hearing ‘I’m bored!’ ‘What are we going to do?’

I saw someone else do the same thing but I cannot remember where I saw it or who posted it. I thought it was such a smart thing to do that I had to copy it!

I got my 4 oldest kiddos together and asked them what they wanted to do this summer and created their summer bucket list! It’s nothing fancy or glamorous but it works for us. I divided the poster into 4 parts, one for each kiddo, and then wrote down their lists. The color it’s written in matches the color that their chore charts are written in. Figured that was the easiest thing to do so there were no questions. 

  
I haven’t figured out a way for them to check off the things they’ve done. I guess I could let them each decide since it is their list. 

At the end of summer, I’ll come back here and update you on how it worked and if it’s something we’ll do next summer!

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#30daysofthanks

You all know this hashtag by now, I mean it is the end of November.

I think that I always jump on this bandwagon every year. I don’t think there’s ever been a year that I actually completed 30 days. And seeing the lack of posts in my newsfeed by the end of the month, I’m not the only one. They say 21 days makes a habit but I can never make it that far into the month, ha!

So, if I don’t finish my #30daysofthanks, does that mean I’m not thankful!?

Absolutely not!

I think we should be thankful for everything, everyday. I know that more people are than aren’t. I understand why it’s more focused on in November. This time of year brings to our attention why we should be thankful for what we have and how great our lives actually are. Our focus kinda gets put on the back burner the other 95% of the year. I can totally see how and why that happens. Life happens. Life gets in the way. Our lives are our bubbles and sometimes the things that happen in our bubble are just so consuming that we forget to look outside our bubble. What happens in my bubble may not be a big deal in your bubble and vice versa. We tend to not be as merry and bright the rest of the year. We don’t put as much emphasize on giving and others the rest of the year.

Or maybe you & your family does. I know that our daily events get in the way I/we forget or choose not to focus on it. I’ve got a lot going on in my life daily that I’d rather not think of everyone else’s problems. As harsh as that may sound, it’s true and I know I’m not the only that thinks like this. It’s not meant to be mean or offensive to anyone but it is the truth.

Let me be real with you right now. My attitude, words, and thoughts have been anything but thankful these couple of days, almost a week. I see myself being thankful in certain moments or when things go a certain way. I’m seeing that I’m not so thankful when those moments aren’t going my way or something unexpectedly happens that throws a wrench in my plans. I have been spewing words of anger, hate, and just plain nasty words to my family. This is not ok. This isn’t me being the best me that I can be. This isn’t me setting a good example for my children. This isn’t me being a safe/happy place for my family to enjoy. I’m wallowing in my own self pity and getting so mad about something that won’t even matter next week. And if it will matter next week, it’s not even a big deal. I am not liking this side of me at all. I feel awful and horrible about how I’ve been treating my family and the words that have been coming out of my mouth. I am ashamed and would be embarrassed if anyone overheard me.

 

And so because of this, I am giving myself a challenge. You can join me if you’d like, you can help hold me accountable, you can just simply read my posts, or you can do nothing. All are acceptable and perfectly fine for you.

Starting January 1, 2015 I am going to be posting what I am thankful for every day for 365 days. It seems like a big task and. Bit overwhelming. I mean, I can’t even post for 30 days what I’m thankful for, what makes me think that I can do 365? I have no idea! But I am going to challenge myself. This is something that I am doing for myself and no one else. I’m not proving anything to anyone. The one reason I am making a public statement is, mostly, for accountability. Plus, I know someone else out there will need to check their attitude & words also. I’m not the only person out there having this negative nancy on their shoulder.

Im putting a stop to it before it gets too far out of hand. I’m the only person that can control this. I’m the only person that can make myself change. I cannot do it for anyone else but myself. I’m sure that by the end I will be a happier person.

Will I have days where I don’t want to find the good and be thankful for something? Yes. Will it be hard to come up with so many things? Sure. Will I miss a day? Or two? Probably! In the end though, it’s not about how many days in a row I did this. Or how many days in a row I missed. It’s a heart thing. It’s a happy heart thing. It’s always about the heart. Good and evil. It’s a heart and mindset kinda thing.

Let’s change our hearts & minds so that we can become the change we want to see I our spouses, kiddos, family members, friends, and communities. Sounds super cheesy, I know.

But I also know that it’s true.