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For the love, stop saying sorry!

This may be a short rant or a long drawn out thing…ya just never know with me!

We, moms & women, need to stop saying sorry all the time. I cannot count how many times a picture is posted and the first few words are

Sorry for my non-make up face. 

Sorry for the clothes in the background. 

Sorry for my messy hair. 

Sorry for my kids fave being messy. 

Sorry for this. 

Sorry for that.

Stop saying sorry! No one would’ve even noticed those things of you wouldn’t have brought them up yourself. And even if they did, who cares. Why are we apologizing for these things?! 

Are we really sorry for these things? Do we think there is a certain way we/our kids/our house/our car has to look in order to share a milestone or event or just a cute kiddo face?! 

Why is it that a friend cannot come over to your house without you feeling the need to apologize for the way your house looks?! I mean, you have kids for crying out loud! I’m not coming over to your house to inspect it….I’m coming over to spend time with you. 

Same applies with your car. Who cares?! 

I am so fend up with hearing sorry come from women’s mouths when it’s not even something to be sorry about. 

sor-ry [sor’ē] adjective, feeling pity or sorrow, regret

A Students Dictionary, Dictionary Projext Inc. 

Please tell me why you are feeling pity about these things? What do you regret? 

For the love, shut up & stop saying sorry! 

You have nothing to be sorry about when you allow your natural beauty to show rather than a made up version for yourself. 

You have nothing to be sorry about when you allow your kiddos to play all around your house. 

You have nothing to be sorry about when you throw your hair in a messy bun rather than making sure every hair is in its place. 

You have nothing to be sorry about when you allow others to see the real you rather than what you think society wants to see. If you have a friend or family member who cannot understand this, then please, kick them to the curb. If they are that insecure for you about your life, can you imagine how doubly insecure they are about their own life?! Not enough popcorn for all that drama! 

Embrace yourself and life. There’s nothing wrong with letting things be messy or real or raw. Do not aplogize for living your life and putting the important things first. 

Love the mess and those who help make it! 

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Lamp & Light

I follow a lady named Kristin Schmucker on instagram. Towards the end of October she announced that she was hosting a photo challenge for the month of November & I decided to jump on that and participate.

lamplight

I did get days behind and then had to play catch up but I am happy to report that I actually did all 30 days! I usually start these things and then finish them….go me!!

I was going to share the pictures from instagram to facebook but then I thought that I would just put them all here & add the description that I wrote along with it.
I don’t really know why I choose to share this way but oh well, I did!

My tattered bible along with the current bible study I’m doing.#lampandlight #day1 #imbehind#playcatchup #novemberphotochallenge#bible @kristinschmucker#kristinschmucker

Reminds me to always know that the bad that happens is to bring Him glory!#lampandlight #novemberphotochallenge#day2 #genesis50:20 #playcatchup#imbehind #favoritebibleverse@kristinschmucker #kristinschmucker

One of my favorite mugs. Given to me by a great friend as a Christmas present. Every time I use it I think of her and all the fun we have together!#novemberphotochallenge #lampandlight#day3 #mugshot @kristinschmucker#kristinschmucker

My Bible study spot…..where I’m comfortable and snuggly & if I fall asleep while studying (which happens often), I don’t have to get up and move! 😜
#lampandlight #biblestudyspot #day4#novemberphotochallenge@kristinschmucker #kristinschmucker

I have many goals that I’d like to accomplish in my life. At the end of the day I know none of that matters if I’m still the old me. It’ll take time but I know that my ultimate goal is to be a better me than I was yesterday.
#lampandlight #day5 #playingcatchup#goals

The book of Proverbs is an instructional manual in my opinion. It can tell how you act and what to say. So much wisdom is within those pages.
#lampandlight #day6 #playingcatchup#day6 #proverbs #bookinthebible

As much as they drive me questions and even question I was given an army of mini me’s, these little people have made my world better. They have taught me so much and made me step out of my comfort zone to give them a better life. I love them and they certainly my small blessings.
#lampandlight #day7 #playingcatchup#smallblessings #mykiddos

A prayer in my bible from a few years ago. #lampandlight #day8#playingcatchup #anoteinyourbibe #prayer

This is one of my favorite quotes. My dad used to say this all the time when I was growing up and it’s so true.
#lampandlight #favoritequote#playingcatchup #day9

This has been something that’s been laid upon my heart for at least 6 months, if not more. It’s something I’m praying about and asking God to tell me where and how I should do this.
#lampandlight #onyourheart#playingcatchup #day10 #titus2:3-4

This journal is one of my favorite things. A great friend gave it to me and it’s a place where I can create and draw out the Word when it touches me.
#lampandlight #afavoritething#playingcatchup #day11 #biblejournal#create #givenbyafriend

I know that I’m given grace ever second of my day but to be able to wake up every morning and start from a clean slate is the biggest sign of grace to me.
#lampandlight #areminderofgrace#playingcatchup #day12 #sunrise #grace

There are too many to list but this seems to be one of the biggest prayer requests I have right now. A house. One that will fit us more comfortably than the one we are currently in. One that we can call home.
#lampandlight #day13 #caughtup#aprayerrequest #aplacetocallhome

“We bring the kingdom come” We Christ followers are the ones who bring the kingdom to others on a daily basis. Not only do I love this lyric but I love this song!
#lampandlight #day14 #favoritelyric#webringthekingdomcome #jasongray#witheveryactoflove

A dream would be for Mister to be a stay at home dad with me.
#lampandlight #day15 #dream#stayathomedad #stayathomeparents#freedom #timeandmoney

My memory today is my grandparents on my moms side. I miss them much and it saddens me to no end at what they are missing out on. I’d give almost anything to have them back!
#lampandlight #memory #grandparents#wishtheywerestillhere #mcgrew#missthem #lovethem

 These two things are always on my to do list. There are others but laundry & dishes take most of my time.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day17#todolist


 I love her story and think she is a great example of what you do doesn’t define you & anyone can change.
#lampandlight #characterinthebible #day18#rahab

Nature can give us signs of life & death but has a way of making it look so beautiful. It’s almost thanksgiving and though most trees are turning and leaves are falling, they still are so green! And that blue sky….I just love me a Texas clear blue sky!
#lampandlight #day20 #nature #texassky#fall #trees #lifeanddeath #beautiful

When I study scripture or just read my Bible, I have my purple pen, Bible, and my journal. I never know when a verse will hit me and I want to be ready to journal it.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day21#howistudyscripture

I have to be honest and say that I haven’t read Psalms enough to have a favorite verse from this book. Think I know what book I’ll be reading next!
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day22#favoritepsalms #bookofpsalms


This is a book that helped me to be involved where I feel led/called to be involved in. I’ve cut out the ‘extras’ and just concentrating on my calling.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day23#abook #calling #thebestyes#lysaterkeurst


  This word is one that I’ve taken to heart over these last few months to a year & a half. My joy cannot and will it be stolen by anyone or any situation that life throws me. I choose joy. Bad things can happen but my joy still remains.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day24#joy #cantstealmyjoy #ichoosejoy

This will always be home to me. I’ve lived in many places but Virginia will always have a special place in my heart.
#lampandlight #day25 #myhome #virginia#specialplaceinmyheart


  
Me! You! We are all attributes of God. We are made in His image!
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day27#anattributeofgod #me #you#madeinhisimage
  This is so true and definitely something I’m thankful for!
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day26#whatimthankfulfor #friends #family

   We are mixed up, crazy, tired, annoying, real, and all of this equals a beautiful mess.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day28#abeautifulmess #welkerfamily #family#welkerkiddos #welker


  It took awhile to figure out how we were going to announce that we were expecting baby number 6 but I love how this turned out. Things can change with one step (literally & figuratively) and our step was adding two more feet to our family.
#lampandlight #playingcatchup #day29#aphotoilove
PS- just want to say that I am NOT pregnant. I tried to word it so it explained a previous pregnancy announcement but it didn’t come across that way.
I’ve been saying this for as long as I can remember & it’s so true.
#lampandlight #day30 #wordstoliveby

 

There is my 30 day photo challenge! Hope you enjoyed it…..let me know if you did this one too! Now onto my December challange!!!<<<<Let me know if you will do this one with me!

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Sidekick update

Well it’s been a week since I had my genius idea and I’d say it’s working out pretty good! Last week was easier than this current week simply because we didn’t have anywhere to be. I’m glad that I’m having to figure out how to get what I need done while it’s still summer though. Good practice! 

I highlight what I get accomplished from my list. Last week was bright yellow!

  
 This week….I have a few yellow dots. 

  
Again, I’m learning to be ok with that. I just try and move whatever I didn’t accomplish to the next day. Laundry is something that I’m trying to get done no matter what else is going on that day. I do 2 loads a day, 6 days a week, so laundry is definitely something that I cannot get behind on! Has long has its been washed and dried then I’m ok with that. My goal is to actually have it put away and then I mark it has being finished. 

Anyway, this post isn’t about laundry! 

I’m really liking that everything is all there. I don’t have a notebook for a shopping list, chores, phone calls, and whatever else. It’s all in one and makes toting it around much easier. I’ve already started writing down ideas for what my next sidekick will contain. I will start putting it together in December to get ready for the new year and so that it will coincide with my 2016 planner. 

Overall it’s working out great! I’m glad that the idea came to me and I didn’t push it aside. I go to bed feeling good about what was accomplished and, most, mornings I don’t wake up with all this weight on my shoulders filled with lists and to dos and all that jazz. 

I’m excited and looking forward to continuing this new habit and putting together one for 2016! Cannot wait to update and show you!

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I think I’m a genius 

*cough cough* Excuse me while I wipe away the dust that has settled on the blog! 😜

So it’s true, pretty sure I just became a genius this morning! 

A grabbed a notebook from the stash we have and began to meal plan (it’s been months since I did that!) yesterday. This morning I wrote out the grocery list for those meals.

This is where the genius happened!

I was texting with my friend about a the MOPS exercise group that we want to start. I grabbed my MOPS notebook and started writing down our ideas and plans. Then I grabbed my notebook stated above and began to write out my week. Then I thought I should go ahead and plan out 2 weeks. Then I thought, no I should do all of June. No, I’ll just do all summer! Then I went ahead and wrote out, in 2 week chunks, our meal plans for the whole summer. I haven’t filled in the meals yet but I’ll get to that part. 

I like cutesy, girly, glittery things. I was going to just use paper clips but that didn’t satisfy my want. I decided to use some duct tape that we have and use them as tabs. Again with the genius part! 

I’m glad that I have 3 months of summer to use this and put it in place. Hopefully by the time next school year starts, it’ll be second nature and working great!

My monthly planner I use is my life! If I lost it, I would be lost….we are very close! It’s color coded for everything going on and who it involves. My MP sidekick is not color coded. I don’t color for this. My MP sidekick is just for me to put my to do list, laundry schedule, and anything going on that day. MP sidekick is where I can write more details without over-crowding my planner. These two planners will become best friends and never leave my side! 

I hope and wish so badly that this new tool works. I’m planning everything two weeks out. So each week I’m planning but it’s far enough in advance that I’m not rushing or overwhelming myself. If it works then I plan on getting another notebook for next year that will go along with my planner again. I’ll have to write things out earlier any get my pages organized better at that time. But for now it’ll work and note the changes I need to make for next time. 

I’m overly excited about this and couldn’t wait to share it with you! I’ve been thinking and praying about something that would help me with my time management (cause I’m horrible with it) and I hope this is the answer! 

   
These are my meals planned out for two weeks. 

My grocery list is only for one week. This way I’m not throwing money away because food went bad before I could use it.   

  

This is my days planned out with more detail than my planner. 

 

The friendship begins 😍

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No yelling, Day 1

I was too tired to update last night, so you’ll probably get two posts today….lucky you 😉

Yesterday was a fail. I am always good until the kiddos get home from school. I think that’s just because there is so much going on with so many people at one time between homework/school folders and snack time. They are all done with school & I want to get folders and homework taken care of. So in less words, our agendas don’t match.

Yesterday’s frustration started on our way home from school. We walk from the school (like a 10 minute walk) and it never fails that one kiddo whines about it. Well yesterday C-man had his tantrum about walking home. He pulled on my hand, let go, and then landed on the ground. I don’t play these games so I kept walking. He sat on the ground yelling at me that he hated me. I turned around, told him that I wasn’t waiting for him, to watch what he was saying to me, and kept walking. I guess he didn’t like the fact that I wasn’t entertaining this tantrum and got up to catch up with us. That’s where it started for me.

C-man also had a bit of homework that he needed to make up from missing school all last week. He started acting up doing this. I get that he didn’t want to do it all & I wasn’t going to make him do it all in one day. I was trying to be firm with him about just getting some done & to stop acting the way he was. I am not completely sure that I was yelling but I sounded louder than I wanted to be in my head.
Then as I was making dinner I was getting frustrated because no matter how many times I make it or what temperature I have the stove-top on, I (almost) always burn a grilled cheese sandwich! Never fails this happens. This is what we were having for dinner and my frustration was getting bigger. Now that I am typing it out, it seems so silly that I was getting that upset about making a grilled cheese sandwich.

Get it together woman!!

C-man had an issue with what was for dinner and Emma wasn’t having it that she wasn’t being held by me, and a few kiddos were complaining that their tummy was hurting.
Ok, so dinner was done, pjs were getting on, and then a kiddo coughed & threw up. Great. Another one down with the stomach bug. So I had to clean up the floor while trying to tell Bailea to stay in her room & that she had to wait a minute for whatever it was she wanted and trying to tell Mister that he needed to keep the dogs outside longer so that I could clean up.
I wasn’t upset with Dom that he had gotten sick on the floor, I was upset about the situation. I tried very hard to keep everyone else away from Mister when he came home sick with the stomach bug last week. Apparently my efforts failed.

I was just beyond frustrated at this point and let out a loud ‘AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH’
And then I felt a little better.

I just needed to sit for awhile and just mindlessly be on Facebook or play those dumb games I have on my phone to just chill out. It worked and then I went to bed.

I will save what has happened this morning for the post later tonight!

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#reallifemommiemoments

Happy Friday!

Now, onto a mom rant!

For the past few weeks I have been volunteering up at my local library (been enjoying it more than I thought!) and haven’t had the time to do much around the house. Once I get home from the library, it’s time to get the kiddos from school, then it’s on to homework, dinner, usually some extracurricular activity, story (if time allows), and then bed time for the kiddos. I am exhausted, to say the least, by this time. I usually try to clean up from dinner, get a load in the dishwasher going, and a load in the washing machine before heading to bed myself.

Well this past week I haven’t been able to get up to the library due to having either a sick Mister and/or sick kiddos. This means that I’ve been home more this week but I still haven’t accomplished anything. My house is still a mess, laundry (clean & dirty) is still piled a mile high. Dishes are piling up faster than I can keep up. My mop & broom have put in for their retirement because they haven’t been put to work in so long. At least the trash is being taken care of! We have our tree but there’s nothing on it yet and it’s not even in the spot we want it. (How many more days until it’s too late to put it up?!)

I am just a whiny cracky mess lately.

As I sit here writing this trying to get my two year old to listen, cross my fingers that my 4 month old enjoys her swing long enough for me to write this, and make sure my two sickies are taken care of all I can think about is none of this will matter next week, month, year. None of this chaos is going to traumatize anyone (well maybe the mop & broom when they figure out they can’t retire). The mess will always be there. Laundry means my family has clothes. Dishes mean my family has full bellies. My dogs mean that we are in a spot where we can enjoy family pets. And Christmas will always come back around. I try (and it’s very hard for me most times) to focus on the well being of my family rather than the look. By look I don’t mean that I don’t care if they are dirty/bathed/combed kinda thing. What I mean by look is that I am not trying to portray my family as something it’s not. My house isn’t spotless. My house is used/lived in, not a display case. I have little people running/over taking my home 95% of the day. A spotless house is on my list but it’s many years done the line. What is at the top of my list is that my family is alive, healthy, and the house is still standing by the end of the day. Whatever I can get done in between those things is just a bonus.
This is also something that drives me crazy! I want to have a spotless house with a white picket fence and a tire swing hanging from the tree. I want things organized and in it’s place. I want to walk through my house without stepping/tripping over something. I want to be able to open my front door and not feel the need to apologize for what it looks like. I cannot wait for the day what I want happens.

Until that day comes, if ever, I will do my very best with what I can do now. It’s not your house nor your life. It’s different, not wrong. We all have some sort of chaos going on in our life.

For now I will try to push aside all this stress and frustration and overwhelmingness that I have because my list isn’t getting done & my house looks like a mess &&&&&…..

I will take one moment at a time. It’s all I can do since my plans never fall in place and never go the way that I want them to. Let me get through sick kiddos. Let me survive until nap time. Let me have a clean plate to eat lunch off of. Let me go because I am praying that wasn’t the school that just left a message telling me I have another kiddo sick!

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My threats aren’t empty anymore

How many times have you threatened your child with taking away a toy or saying that you are going to throw everything away if they didn’t clean it!?

All the time, right?

Sometimes we follow through but most of the time we are just using these threats to get our kiddos to do what we want them to do in that moment and usually we are making the same threats the very next week.

Why? Why can’t they just listen the first time and remember it? Why do I have to repeat myself so many times about the same things?

At the beginning of the summer, I told them that I wanted their rooms cleaned. That way they wouldn’t have to spend all summer cleaning but just maintaining. Told them I would help organize and find homes for everything.

What should have taken no more than 2 days turned into months (and no, I’m not exaggerating either). I kept saying that if it wasn’t picked up within a certain time frame that I was just going to throw away whatever was on their floor. I mean they couldn’t have cared too much about it if it we’re left on the floor to be stepped on & broken. Oh the fits that we’re thrown with every threat I claimed I was going to do. Not only was I getting worn out fighting with them, I started to get upset with myself. I even went as far as asking if any local friends had a snow shovel that I could borrow so that I can could throw their stuff out! Why was I saying things that I probably wasn’t going to do in the first place? Would I really ever follow through with just throwing away whatever was on their floor? Would I have reach that point?

Yes.

The answer is yes. I did reach that point. I did throw away whatever was on their floor without even looking to see what was there. I did follow through with my threat.

I did feel horrible for throwing their things away. I did feel bad that they lost things. Like I said just a few sentences ago, and something that I said & continue to say my kiddos, if you wanted it so bad in the first place then you would have taken better care of it & not allowed it to end up on the floor.

Every now and then I will go in the boy’s room and see what it looks like. If it’s not in acceptable order to me then I give them a time frame & whatever isn’t picked up gets thrown away. I’ve only had to do it once after the first time. I hope they get the message.

I’m not doing this to be mean. I’m doing this to prove a point to them. I have to stick to my word. I cannot just keep saying I’m going to do something and then never do it. That teaches them that I’m not accountable and that they can keep doing it. It’s making it ok for them to do something that isn’t ok. I hope that I don’t have to do it anymore. I hope that they got the message that I’m serious about their rooms.

I’ve applied this mentality to everything else. If I say something I really try to follow through with it. I need to be careful what my threat is and make sure that I’m honestly willing follow through with that threat and not change my mind. Now I do give 2nd chances/extend grace but it’s pretty much base don’t their attitude towards me. I can tell when they are truly sorry/forgetful/confused/insert anything and they are just saying it to get their way.  Sometimes I give them their 2nd chance even when they don’t deserve it or have earned it. (That is a whole other blog post though)

This is what is working in our household right now. It may not work next week. It may not work in your household. That’s ok, I don’t expect it to. I would love to hear what does work for you!

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Money speaks

This statement is so true!

When I wanted to catch my kiddos attention with their chores, I knew I had to grab it with the first few words when I spoke to them. I needed something that they would be excited about & that I could keep up with. I have tried different things in the past and it stuck…..as long as I could remember & that is part of the problem!
So of course I went to my handy dandy Pinterest board (where else would I look!?) to find something that I could use that would be effective & easy.
I found a few things that I wanted to try and wanted to share them with Mister. Well I kept putting it off/forgetting to bring it up to him. So I figured that I would just do what I thought would work and fill him in on my plan (most of the time, that’s what he’s ok with anyway.). I also couldn’t get my printer to work with our laptop which kept setting me back. I finally remembered to take the colored paper that I wanted to use to the library so that I could print off what I needed.

Here is what I just started this past Sunday!

image
I’ve had this board up for a few weeks now but it didn’t look like this. I had everything going across and then would cross out the chore that they completed. This wasn’t working for me. I can’t really pinpoint why but it just irritated me to have it up on the board like that. I finally got around to changing it to the way (at least for now) that I want it. I don’t plan on erasing their chores, just the dollar amount.

image
(Click image to be taken to the website that I printed these from)
I printed out the money that I want to use. I only did one sheet of each amount to show the kiddos and will need to print off more. Haven’t figured out what, if at all, I will use the bigger dollar amounts for. I am definitely using the $1 & $5! I would like to get them laminated so they last a lot longer than they would if I just left them like this.

Ok, so here is what I have set into place & have let the kiddos know what the plan is.
*Each chore they complete is worth $1.
*Taking trash out w/out being told is $5 (this only applies to our 2 oldest as the trash is their chore)
*Doing something w/out being told is $5 (this means that we will need to become more aware of what they are doing, not a bad thing)
*Doing something when told w/out whining/crying is $5 (this is a huge problem in our household. Everything turns into a dramatic event when they are told to do something)
*Their birthday they automatically get money, right now I am thinking $50 but that might change
*Washing dishes (when needed) by hand is $2 (this applies to all the kiddos but the dishwasher is the oldest 2 boys chore)

What are they going to use this money for!?
We are going to be opening up a family store! Not sure how big the basket/bucket will be but that is something that can change as we get more into this.
We want to put things in the store that appeal to them and will make all this worth it. If it doesn’t spark their interest then all this is pointless. Mister and I briefly talked about what we would add but here are a few ideas!

*Gum
*Candy
*$1 items from the Dollar Store & Target
*Ice cream date
*Staying up later
*Screen time without having to read first

That’s about it so far. I know it doesn’t seem like much but we are just starting and, honestly, they don’t need a Chuck E Cheese counter of items to choose from. The less items = the better Mommie & Papa will be able to keep up/remember!

The kiddos are excited about all this and did really well doing their weekly chores yesterday. It’s simple enough for me to remember what they earn because I can just write it down on the board next to their chore. Will update as we go so that you can see how well (or not so well) this is working.

I am also going to start going around after they are in bed & have had the chance to pick up after themselves and do have them earn their things back that I find on the floor. And to make sure they are putting their things where it goes, I am thinking that I will do this every night in their room also. I am hoping this makes them more aware of how much they are leaving out & then wonder why they lose their things or they end up broken. I just need to empty out the container that I will use & print off everything.

(Click on image to be taken to the website where I got this idea from)

Please share what you do in your house. What worked? Didn’t work? What other items would your kiddos what to ‘buy’ with their money?

2

Mommie and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Yesterday evening was one of those days. I was just irritated with all of my children for their behavior. Their lack of respect for me. The fact that they took over an hour and a half to clean the living room, which isn’t that big to begin with. The fact that they whined about everything they were told to do.
They were able to play all day & do what they wanted. At 5pm yesterday is when I told them it was time to clean up the living room & kitchen area. All messes they made. I don’t know why they choose not to listen & clean up after themselves. I don’t know why I have to repeat myself several times a day, everyday. Aren’t they tired of hearing me yell!? Aren’t they tired of spending their free time cleaning up!? Aren’t they going to learn that if they pick up as they go then they won’t have to spend their free time cleaning!? Don’t they get it!?

Wait! Don’t I get it?! Don’t I get that my approach hasn’t been working?! Don’t I get that by me yelling isn’t accomplishing anything productive!? Don’t I get that maybe I should try something different with them?! Don’t I get that my way of doing things isn’t their way of doing things!? They are 4 (Kiddo #5 isn’t really old enough right now, though I am trying with her) different people who think, act, process, and do things 4 different ways.

This isn’t some ‘ah ha’ moment that I had for the first time yesterday. It’s something that I have known for awhile but haven’t learned to change my behavior in these moments. I can think clearly afterwards but I cannot go back and change the damage that I have already caused. I need to learn how to fix my approach and attitude before I can even begin to think that my children will change theirs. It starts with me. I am the example for these 5 children. If I react with rage, anger, hurtful words, & chaos…why in the world would I think that they would react any differently than me!?

If I want them to act differently towards me than I need to be the one to show them how to treat me. This concept isn’t new and is clearly stated in the Bible: “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets”, Matthew 7:12 NIV.
So if it spells it out clearly how I should treat others, why do I think that my way would work better than the Bible!? I am crazy to even think that would work! I need to get my head on straight and start living what I believe.

I haven’t stopped thinking about this since I kept replaying the evening in my head. It had been bothering me. It has been sitting heavy on my heart. Usually when this happens, I think about it, say I am going to change, and then fall back into the same trap. This time feels differently within me. I am ready to change my ways in order to show my children how to treat people. Just because I (or any of them) get upset with someone, doesn’t mean that my actions/words are justified. I need to remain calm & think before I speak and act. Mmmmm, sounds like something that I tell my children. Maybe I should start practicing what I am preaching!?

Today is a new day.
Today I start over.
Today I have already messed up.
That’s ok.
I can still start over and not have to wait for a new day.
I can start over in a new hour, 1/2 hour, & minute.
I need to take things slowly.
I need to think before I speak. If that means that I listen to what my children have to tell me and then tell them that I need to think about it before I deal with the situation, then that’s what I need to do. I need to be more aware of what I am projecting. I need to be intentional about my actions and words. I am the example. If I want our family to live & be different than the world, then it starts with me. I cannot expect my wants for my family to happen if I cannot show, not just tell, them how to act & speak.

It starts with me.
It starts today.

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35 weeks, Baby #6

I turned 35 weeks yesterday so let’s recap 34 weeks.

I can’t say that anything exciting happened. I am starting to feel like my belly cannot stretch any more & I have no more room to breathe by the end of the day. Baby W is moving around like crazy and, I am sure, running out of space!
Nothing has changed in the eating department. There aren’t any foods that I am getting sick off of or smells. I can’t really eat what would be a normal size meal for me. I am drinking water like crazy but still having some DP every now and then. It’s just too good to give up 😉
Still walking but not as often. My lower body starts to hurt after awhile and I don’t want to over do it at all.
I have been nesting recently. I am pacing myself but that’s just because my body won’t allow me to get as much done as I would like. I am just glad that I am able to still get things done. Slowly but they are getting done.
This happened at least 2/3 weeks ago but I keep forgetting to mention it. Lily (our 2 year old) when asked if Mommie was having a baby would always say ‘no’. She would put her hand on my belly or point to it and say no. Now she points to my belly and says ‘baby’! Yay! She may not fully understand what is going to happen within the next month but she knows what a baby is & she knows there’s one in my belly. Glad she is not in denial anymore 😉

On Wednesday, the kiddos & I went to the library for a snake show. Once we got back home, I sat for awhile so that I could rest & didn’t get up until I needed to make dinner. Baby was moving during this time but nothing felt out of the ordinary. I stood up to walk into the kitchen & noticed that my belly looked different. I thought maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me at first but it looked like my belly had dropped. Once Mister got home I told him about it & he said it didn’t look like my belly was out there like it had been. I figured if he could tell a difference then I was going completely crazy!

Thursday morning I woke up about 3:30 am to horrible heartburn again. Finally about 4 something it went away. Was ready to crawl back into bed but then had the feeling I needed to go to the bathroom. As I was sitting there, I had that feeling in my stomach that I was going to get sick. The feeling was getting stronger so I figured that I needed to change my positions. Sure enough, I threw up. Yuck! I don’t know what made me sick. Mister thinks that it was my heartburn but it was gone by the time I got sick. So who knows. Went back to bed, sitting up, and didn’t get much sleep after that. When I did get up, I felt so crappy. I was nauseous and felt like I was in my first trimester. Food smelled gross to me & I was getting waves of nausea all day. By evening time I felt so much better, just tired. Thankful for the bestie taking the kiddos to the park for awhile that afternoon. Also thankful for the other bestie on bringing dinner over so it was one less thing for me to worry about.
Sidenote, I had seen her Wednesday afternoon so before she stopped by with dinner, I told her she would have to tell me if my belly looked different. I opened the door & she immediately said that it looked like it dropped. Again, must be going crazy if two people see a difference!

I have all 6 kiddos bags are packed & ready for go time! I just need to work on mine and we’ll be all set! Hopefully I’ll get that done before my next update 😉

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My drs appointment was this morning so I will share what happened!

I had my ultrasound first, so I’ll start there.
Baby W is head down! I was so relieved in see that head down! I don’t have to worry about a csection this time!!! Thank you baby!
Everything is looking just fine with the baby. Baby is weighing about 6lbs 2oz right now & she expects the baby to weigh 8 something when he/she is born. It’s head & femur are measuring 2 weeks ahead, 37 weeks 1 day. But the average of all the numbers is measuring 36 weeks. So nothing to be concerned about there. Baby did not want to move to get good measurements or good pictures. So the tech had me empty my bladder & then used a buzzer to try and wake him up. Boy, did that baby jump! That was so funny & weird feeling. Baby still didn’t move too much after that though. Oh well. When she first took the heart rate it was at 124. After the buzzer it was 145. Healthy baby all around & nothing to be concerned about. We could tell/see some chubby cheeks on this baby! I’ve never seen chubby cheeks on any of my babies on an ultrasound. I thought that was too cute!

I only gained a pound in the last two weeks, which the nurse was happy about. I asked her how much I’ve gained so far but I forgot about it once we got in the room. Blood pressure was good. I had my Group B strep test. I also had a vaginal check. I am measuring 1 centimeter dilated but baby is still high. My dr is going out of the country next week & told me not to go into labor then 😉 Still on track to have a vbac which makes me so happy that I cannot even express! Had to get some routine labs done.
From here on out, if I go into labor they won’t try and stop it but the baby will be considered a preemie until 37 weeks. Though I don’t want to go into labor early, I’m glad to know that they are confident that baby will be fine from here on out.

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That’s my update for this week. Next week I’ll recap after my appointment since I’m going weekly now, crazy! See you at 36 weeks 🙂