I’m tired of hearing myself yell…..and I’m sure everyone else is too

I’ve heard myself say this to myself, and I’m sure out loud also, so many times.

I’m so tired of hearing myself yell. I don’t like to do it and it wears me out and it’s in(un)affective and no ones ears enjoy it.

I’m a yeller by nature. I have no idea why. I honestly don’t know if I’ve always been this way or it’s been a progression since having a big family.

Logically, I know that yelling isn’t going to fix, help, or change anything or anyone. I could yell until I have no voice and I know things wouldn’t change. If I know all this then the next question would be, then why do I still do it?

For a fact I know that I out of frustration. I yell because I feel like I’m not being heard. I yell because I don’t know what else to do. Well, let’s be honest here, I do know other ways to handle things but I don’t always take a step back, breath, and then address whatever is going on. It’s the ‘in the moment’ thing that I don’t think all the way. I don’t stop and think (something I should probably do considering I tell this to my kids all. the. time.). I react. And then I wonder why in never works. I wonder why I feel guilty after having a yell-fest. I wonder why I’m apologizing to my kiddos all the time. You’d think by now I would’ve thought of a better way of handling this or would have changed my ways by now. But no, no I haven’t. I’ve also noticed that instead of spending all this time working on me & my ways, I’ve just kept saying ‘well if the kids wouldn’t act/say what they do, then I wouldn’t have to yell’. So basically, I’m blaming my kiddos because I would rather point the finger at someone else than swallow that pride pill, own up to my fault, and work on this.

#momfail

I’ve tried this before about 2-3 years ago. I don’t remember it lasting that long. I do remember feeling less stressed. My nerves weren’t shot by the end of the day. I remember my kiddos weren’t yelling at each other either. I remember not feeling like a hypocrite when I’d tell my kiddos to stop yelling, while yelling at them (1+1 doesn’t equal 2 here).  My kiddos are older then they were before and I can tell them to hold me accountable with this also.

I’m not going to yell for 1 week. No yelling, period. Not even if I’m on one side of the house and need/want a kiddo. No yelling means no yelling. I’m going to come here and vent my frustration, everyday for this week.

Will it be difficult? Yes, considering that I don’t go 1 day without yelling now. I know that I can do. I know that I have to do it, not only for me but (most importantly) for my kiddos.

Fingers crossed for day 1!

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