A hot mess

hot mess

Yep, it’s true, I am a hot mess.

No matter what you see on the outside or how well put together you think I am or how well it looks like I am doing life…it’s never what it seems. And even when you see the mess that does unfold in public from my kiddos, that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

What you see on ‘stage’ is nothing compared to what actually happens behind the curtain.

I am not saying that I cover things up or try to put on a mask for what my life bubble is really like. I would never think of doing that. It’s not real and I am sure that it’s exhausting. I am not going to put more on my plate then what is needed & especially wouldn’t do it just to make the public feel more comfortable.
Do I go around telling everyone that will listen what is going on in my life? No.
Not everything that is going on needs to be told to the world.
I never mind telling our story or sharing anything but it’s not just something that I go around spewing out to just anyone.

There is a time, place, and person when sharing things with. Everyone who ‘cares’ about what you have to say doesn’t always have your best interest at heart. I am not saying that you should lock everyone out in your life nor am I saying that everyone who really does care won’t turn their back on you. What I am saying is that you need to realize when the time/person is right to tell your stories.

What you see of my life and everyone else out in the world looks like from your bubble isn’t always what you think it is. Whether or not someone is living true or putting on front, just remember that what you see on the outside isn’t always as glamorous or as bad as you think. Everyone you see is fighting some sort of battle & it doesn’t have to be some huge battle for this person to feel/act defeated.

So just remember that when you see anyone out there. Just because they don’t act like something is going on in their life, doesn’t make that true. Stop judging people because they don’t act/react to something the same way that you would. Everyone copes differently.

I know that I have had several times in my life where someone assumes that I don’t care or didn’t think something was a big deal because of how I did/didn’t react. I wasn’t aware that I had to reassure you of my feelings on what is going on in my life. There is plenty that I keep behind closed doors because it’s not something that I want on display for everyone to see. I have my own way of coping/dealing with everything that comes my way….good or bad. Is it your way? No. Is it the right way? For me at the time, probably.

I think that more people need to think about how they act and what they say to others before actually doing it. If you step back and say the things you’d like to say to someone else & you wouldn’t want someone to say that to you, then it’s probably a good indication that you shouldn’t say it. I am not saying that you can’t speak truth, truth is very important to speak to people, but maybe you should make sure that you are saying it in a loving manner. If you are upset with someone, wait. Wait until you aren’t angry with them to talk to them. I am sure a lot of extra stress will be avoided if you wait.

Anyway, I am a complete mess most days if not everyday. Some days are better than others. Some days are much worse than others. I cannot do my day to day life without Jesus. And neither can you….whether or not you’d like to admit/believe that or not. I am still a hot mess when Jesus is first in my life. Do not think that just because I believe in Jesus and have a relationship with him that everything is magically better in my life…it’s definitely not! I have stories for you that you may not even believe that has happened to me & my family within the last year.
It’s because of Jesus that I can make it through my days knowing that, yes I am a hot mess, but I am not alone. No matter what happens around me, who betrays me, who sticks by me, whatever the case may be, Jesus will never leave nor forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6). That is a truth that is old as time and will never change. No matter what mistakes I make or how wonderful my day goes. It’s not because of me at all. It’s because I surrender myself and my family to Him.

Do I remember to do this every day? Absolutely not! I have a very hard time giving control over to Jesus. I am more of a control freak then I think I allow myself to believe. But because I look back on my life and see the times when I shut Him out and tried to do things on me own is when things went the worst. Crap still happens everyday, my kiddos still misbehave everyday, I still react without thinking, I still make mistakes, I am still a (very) hot mess every.single.day with Jesus in my life.

These are truths that I know and I don’t deny but I do not dwell on them….that, my friend, only makes things worse. I am confident that I will mess up. I am confident that I will have bad days. I am confident that I will forever make mistakes. I am confident that I am forgiven. I am confident that Jesus will always be there no matter what sort of hot mess I get myself into.

I could go on and on but I would probably end up repeating myself more than I already have.
Your hot messness is different than mine. Don’t compare what you see of my bubble to what is going on behind your closed doors, it’s pointless and not productive. Our hot messes will always be there so don’t try to make them go away. Work through them and ask Him for guidance through everything in your life…..no matter how big or small you may think it is.

*Disclaimer- I started writing this post a few days ago & have had to write it up over a few days due to life. I am not even sure how much sense this even makes to be honest with you. I have thought about just deleting this and starting over. But no matter when I start this, I will probably not have enough time to get everything I want to say out in one sitting. So here is my hot mess and rambliness talking about me being a hot mess. Enjoy 🙂 *

 

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One thought on “A hot mess

  1. Pingback: Take 3 | MommieVentures's Blog

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