I would have typed this up last night but I had a terrible headache.
Today, at one point, was worse than all day yesterday was. I didn’t get a chance to have a chat with satan, but I am going to. Well, let me rephrase that. I have been talking with him and God but not out loud. I dont know if it’s just me but saying something out loud makes it more real, important, personable.
Thank God for Emily! If you are reading this, thank you for everything! She is there for me every night when I text her to tell her how the day went. She is always encouraging and truthful.
I have wanted to give up so many times during these 3 days and it’s not just because I miss fb. It’s so hard to do something in the name of something when you can’t see it, smell it, taste it, hear it, or touch it. In those hard moments my faith starts to be in question. I know that it’s wrong and normal, but I need to stop doing it. Not because I will punished or a blessing won’t happen if my faith does sway, but because I need to stop reacting in those moments. I don’t want to say/do something I will regret later. I have done that way too many times in my life.
We have a very full house and I wish there was a room that I could go into so that I could just have some time to sit, think, talk, and write with no interruptions. It’s hard for me to think most days with everything that goes on around me. Yesterday when I was speaking with God, I was interrupted so many times…it gets annoying after awhile!