Today was a hard day in my Mommieventures.
I haven’t had one of these days in a long time. There wasn’t anything different about today…as in the kiddos were doing what they always do and there wasn’t anything ‘extra’ going on….nothing along those lines. I think that I am just feeling the stress of certain events that have happened over the last week or so plus having a newborn in the house. It could be the lack of sleep also added on top of everything.
Maybe I shouldn’t just use the hard….I should also use the word bad. And it’s been a few days just not today. I haven’t been the nicest Mommie on the block lately. I hate when I get like this. I can’t enjoy anything and everything pisses me off. The kiddos really get under my skin when I am in these moods and I spew words that, under normal circumstances, I would never say. I have this attitude about me that makes me want to slap myself. I can’t stand to be around myself when I am like this…but I can’t get away from myself. I am in a constant fight when my mood is like this. I don’t know how to get out of this mood\attitude.
It doesn’t happen as often as it used to…thank goodness….but it still happens. I know that it will probably always happen but I need to (and want to) learn how to change my way of thinking when these moments creep up on me.
I know that I am overwhelmed by a few things, which are sorta out of my control, and just trying to adjust to having 5 kiddos (one being a newborn). It’s been a few years since having a newborn around so it’s taking some time to adjust. Plus breastfeeding is working out so I am constantly having to stop what it is that I am doing to nurse her. That is something that I am not use to because in the past I would just give the baby a bottle….usually a sibling would want to feed the baby & then I could just go on with whatever it is that I needed to get done. I am not pumping, so I can’t just pass her to someone else to feed her. Which I am ok with…it’s just that these past few days it has been overwhelming.
Life will always be overwhelming for me, I think that’s because how I look at things and how I process things, I just need to learn new\different ways of handling life when it throws me curve balls….because there will always be curve balls. I have Mister (thank God) to always be there for me but I don’t always want to weigh him down with my thoughts\feelings when I know he is feeling stressed too. Maybe I need to get myself back into reading the Bible every night and writing in my prayer journal every night. I say that but I am usually so tired at night that I fall asleep while trying to get Lily to sleep.
I know that life is forever changing and what life is now isn’t what life will be later on down the road. I just have to get over some of these bumps that are here now. I do feel a tad better writing all this out, so that’s a start. I mean I did make this blog to share what goes on with me with others because I know that I am not alone and neither are you! I did ask some sisters in Christ to pray for me & I know that they are (thank you very much ladies), so hopefully tonight I will get a good nights sleep and I will be better tomorrow than I was today. I am not saying that I will be to my normal tomorrow…but better than today would definitely help out!