Ok, so I will pick up after my drs appointment when we were told that I would be having a csection that afternoon at 5pm.
Mister & I left that appointment making phone calls & texting to family and close friends. We were bummed to say the least about having the csection but we wanted that over a breech delivery.We head home until about 2:30pm when we had to head to the hospital. It was definitely a blah rest of the day. I wasn’t happy about how Baby L was coming into this world but I was super excited that I was going to meet this baby finally! I felt like I couldn’t be happy or show that I was excited because of how Mister was feeling. I was sad for Mister because he was so upset about how things were going. He didn’t want this for me either.
So we leave the house around 2.30pm on Thursday June 7th. I can’t remember what we talked about on the way there but I remember saying sorry for having to have the csection. He kept telling me to stop because it wasn’t my fault.
We got to the hospital and made our way to the 4th floor, pushed the buzzer, told them I was here for a csection, they opened the doors, and we walked through. Told the lady my name behind the desk & she had all my papers ready. Made sure everything was correct & then took us back to triage. I was surprised that I got an actual room instead of one of the beds behind the curtains. I was told to wash my belly area with this special soap and then to put my gown & hair net thingy on.
So I did what I was told and then waited for a nurse to come in. Mister had his rope with him & he was trying to make something (I can’t remember what it was) to help distract himself. The nurse comes in and is checking everything off and taking blood and doing everything to make sure that when it’s time that everything is correct & ready to go. She asked if Mister was coming back with me into the operation room and he said no….my heart dropped & I felt like balling. I was expecting that answer from him at all. I was hoping that at one point the nurse would need to leave the room so I could talk to him about it. She finally left and I asked him why he didn’t want to come back with me….asked him didn’t he think he would regret not being there later on down the road. He said he wouldn’t but how could you not regret being there!? He’s been there with me during the birth of the other kiddos…he couldn’t leave me now!!! After talking he said that he would go with me if that’s what I wanted and I, of course, said I did want him there with me.
He didn’t want to go back to the OR with me because when it comes to seeing his loved ones in the postion where they don’t have control over certain things, he starts to get very defensive & protective and he would rather not be there incase something happens and he looses his temper. I completely understood that but I wanted him there anyway….I needed him there. Neither of us had been through this before so it was new but I didn’t want to go through it alone.
So everything is a green light & I sit in the wheel chair & the nurse says “Let’s go have a baby!”. When she said that I got all excited because we were going to meet Baby L! We were going to finally find out if we were having a Lily or a Landon! I wanted to jump out of my skin with excitement!
Mister had to wait for awhile in the recovery area until I was laying on the table with the blue curtain thingy. It was FREEZING in the OR room! I was shaking it was so cold! One of the nurses in there got me a warm blanket but that didn’t help after awhile. I watched and listened as the nurses counted to make sure all the instruments where there. Looked around and saw the little baby bed that Baby L would be in once heshe was born. Once things were counted and my dr was in the room, the anistegeoligist said he was ready to do his job. I have had an epidural before but never a spinal. I was told that I would feel a lot of pressure once he was putting the medicine in….boy did I feel it! It started to hurt because the pressure was so much on my back. I started crying at one point and so wanted Mister to be with me at this point. (I am tearing up typing this because that lonely feeling is coming back to me)
With the help of the nurses, because the medicine started working already, I made my way to laying on the table. I wasn’t sure if Mister was going to actually come in the room (he did get dressed in the OR clothes that you have to wear)…wasn’t sure if he ended up changing his mind and wasn’t going to in at all. Nurses kept coming and going & everytime the doors would open my heart would skip a beat waiting to see if it was him. He finally walked through the doors but I could definitely tell that he didn’t like being in there. I told him that he didn’t have to be in there & if he left, I would be ok with that. He held my hand the whole time & I cannot express how much I needed that hand in mine!
I felt a lot of tugging but not much more than that. I couldn’t wait to find out what we were having! The nurse that was with us in triage knew that we didn’t know yet & she was so excited to be apart of this birth because it was a surprise for everyone. Once Baby L was born she poked her head around the blue curtain and said it’s a girl! I was so happy that I started crying. I have never cried at the birth of one of my children. I finally heard her cry and knew that she was ok. I couldn’t wait to see her! Had to wait until they were done cleaning her up & wrapped her up. They finally brought her to us and I couldn’t stop crying and kissing her face! They took her away to the nursey while my dr was finishing up with me.
Welcome to the world princess….you are so loved & wanted 🙂
I can continue on to how my recovery was for the few days while I was at the hospital if you all would like to hear it…just let me know 🙂