A tough choice

At least it was for me and I can only speak for myself.
If you have been followingreading my posts over the last few weeks, you know that Baby L is still breech & last week at my appointment my dr told me that he didn’t think baby would turn. So I was left with 2 options….deliver a breech baby or have a csection.
I have never been dealt these cards before & never had to think about either of these options before. My dr has told me over and over that he is very comfortable preforming a csection but that he is the only dr in the practice that will do one. But the thought that kept coming to my mind was “Well I am glad you are comfortable with doing a breech delivery, but that doesn’t mean that I am.”
To be honest, when I first was told that having a breech delivery was a possibility I did look up what it involved and what could happen to Baby L with a breech delivery but didn’t look too much into because I was convinced that the baby would turn….all mine have before. Well now that I am 39 weeks & baby still hasn’t turned…I am forced with looking more into and make a choice of which delivery I am willing to do.

We spent yesterday with my mom and step dad (my step dad owns a peditricians office & knows a lot about this kinda stuff) and I was talking with him about this topic. Of course my SD isn’t going to lie or sugar coat anything with me (which is a good thing) and after talking with him & doing some more research this morning, I have come to the conclusion that I will be having a cscetion if Baby L still doesn’t turn. I still have to tell my dr about this choice (my appointment isn’t until Thursday this week) and see if I can wait longer to see what Baby L does or what. This is new territory for me so I don’t know what will happen next.

I am super bummed because a csection is planned & it just takes all the fun out of knowing when your baby will be born. I am not that thrilled about this choice & am praying that God will help me become at peace with this choice. But after reading up on the complications that could occur with a breech delivery, I would rather not put Baby L in that position (no pun intended :)). I would much rather do something that I don’t want to do in order to make sure that Baby L is safe & arrives the best way possible with the cards that we are dealt. I so very much want to be selfish and have a breech over a csection (something I have never wanted….EVER!) but I know it’s not the best route for my baby.
Yes, I know that the things that read are things that could happen. I know that it doesn’t mean that it will happen toBaby L. I know that I could have a breech delivery & everything be just perfect. I also know that I am not willing to add harm to my baby just because of couldmight happen. The things that I read about that could happen is not something that I am willing to risk. I would rather go through the pain & longer recovery & swallow my pride than to risk something with Baby L. I would forever feel guilty if I did what I wanted and something happen to Baby L that could have been prevented.

I cannot see nor predict the future but what I can do is make the best choice for my unborn child. And right now, this is the best choice for me and Baby L.

I will update sometime Thursday after my normal weekly drs appointment.

Until then 🙂


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