I have not been one to speak up when I should, but over the years I have found out that if I don’t speak up, then my concerns – thoughts – ideas – whatever the case may be will NOT be heard. If someone does something I don’t agree with, then I am just as guilty as they are because I didn’t speak up. This is not to say that the person will change his\her mind just because I said something. But because I said something it could change their mind, have them look at things differently, and\or save them from making a bad choice. This also goes for speaking up when someone says\treats you in a way that you do not like. You cannot depend on someone else to speak up for you. People will not respect you if you don’t find your own voice and use it. Yes, these people may get mad at you. They may not want to be in your life anymore. None of that matters though. If they really cared about you, they would listen to what you had to say and respect you & your feelings. I know that it’s easier said then done, but if you have people in your life that don’t respect you…..cut them out. You can’t truly care & love someone if you don’t respect them. Respecting someone does not equal agreeing with them….those are two different things. More often than not I will speak up about something. I don’t care if people like me afterwards or not….I don’t speak up to have\keep friends. I speak up because I feel in my heart that it’s the right thing to do.
If you don’t speak up no one will know if something is bothering you, they won’t know your ideas, your feelings on what is going on, and no one can help you (if needed) if you don’t speak up. Contrary to popular belief…..people CANNOT read minds. No one knows what is going on in your mind if you don’t say something. And more often than not, people treat you the way they do because you allow it. Even if you say something to them and they continue to treat you in a way that you do not like, by you not cutting them out of your life and\or not saying something is giving them permission to continue treating you the way they are. Like I said before, easier said than done. But if you want people to respect you, treat you the way you think you should be treated, and have people really hear you….your the voice that God gave you! People don’t have to like what you have to say or agree with it but I feel that they have to respect you.
I was told once in high school (can’t remember who told me or how this comment came about) if you aren’t willing to fix something – I don’t want to hear you complain about it. And it’s so true. If you are going to sit there, complain to me about something, I give you advice, and you don’t take it or don’t even take into consideration what I said…..then do NOT come to me again about this issue. It’s different when you listen to what I have to say in trying to help you, you take my advice, act on that advise, and then come back because you still have questions or need advise….then that is a different story. I cannot stand when people complain about something but don’t do anything about it. If you have repeatedly said something to the person\people and they continue to not respect you & your feelings, then it’s time to reevaluate why they are in your life. People who love you and care about you won’t treat you in a way that makes you feel like crap after talking to them or spending time with them.
It’s time for you to speak up. No matter what it is. You aren’t the only one that has these concerns, issues, and\or ideas. Let people know how you feel….good, bad, and ugly. Don’t say ‘Well I have tried that and it didn’t work’. Try something else. You wouldn’t let your child keep acting in a way that you feel is wrong without consequenses….why would you let anyone else in your life act\treat you that way!? Stop being afraid of what other people will think of you….their opinions don’t matter. What matters is how you feel about yourself. Don’t put yourself around people who don’t respect you…..I don’t care if they are family or not. No one deserves to be treated without respect.
Put your foot down. Put your big girl panties on. Speak your mind.