Let’s talk about YOU!

A few days ago I had typed up a blog about my thoughts on working mothers vs stay at home mothers. I didn’t think that blog post or it’s comments would spark another blog post idea……but it did thanks to a fan! Her comment was this:

Very true. I think every mom, working or not, feels like a bad mother at some point. I know I have my days, especially lately while being sick and in bed, I feel like a terrible mom for not getting up and playing wih my babies. I just have to remember that in order to be 100% for them, I HAVE to rest.  :)”

I know this topic is talked about all the time but why is it that us (women & mothers) continue to not listen?! Why is it that we don’t get this concept!? (Don’t worry if you are one of these women…..I am totally guilty of it too!) I don’t have an answer to these questions. For each woman has their reasons as to why we choose to not take care of ourselves. I think it becomes worse as we (women) become mothers. We put ourself on the back burner. Our children come first. That’s what a good mother does….right!? I am coming to the conclusion that this thought is wrong!

{I will pause a moment while you gasp and yell at your computer screen}

Ok, here is why I think putting our children, husband, and\or boyfriend first is the wrong thing to do.

I am in no way saying that we shouldn’t take care of our family, that’s not what I am saying at all. What I am saying though is that if we (women & mothers) don’t put our health, well being, mental health, and take time for us…..we will eventually break down. If we break down….what kind of mother are we!? Not a very good one and definitely wouldn’t be able to be involved with our kids. We MUST take time for ourselves. I know it’s different for each woman of what ‘me time’ is…..but take it! Make time for it. Put your foot down and say ‘I need this time for myself to be a better wife & mother. Give {insert time} and I will be back to help you!’. There is nothing wrong with taking 30 or 60 minutes (or more) to not be around your family. To take a walk. To not hear ‘Mom, so and so did this….’ every time you turn around. It’s ok to be {insert your name here}. Do what you want to do. Like I said, what each of us do for me time is different. But enjoy it. Embrace it. Don’t rush it. Believe me, when I am having ‘me time’ I feel like I have to hurry up and finish to get back to my family. And as soon as I do get back, I regret rushing me time. I don’t recharge enough when I rush it.

Stop. Look. Listen. Hear. Taste. Touch. Slow down.

Our family isn’t going to fall apart if we aren’t there every waking moment. Yes the house may a complete mess when we return but you know what!? If the kids are alive & the house is still standing….thank your husband (or whoever watched the kids so you could have me time) for taking over while you were out. Yes, you will be the one that will have to clean up the mess later that day or tomorrow, but you know what….it’s ok. That mess, or a different one, would have been waiting around the corner anyway. Don’t get mad or start a fight with your husband just because he doesn’t watch the kids like you do. You are two different people, so therefore you parent differently. Again, if the house is still standing & the kids are alive..be thankful.

But this doesn’t just apply to ‘me time’. It also applies to going to the doctor. (Again, I am totally guilty of this too). Don’t put off going if you think or feel something that isn’t right. Again, you will be no good to your family if you put things off and then something happens that lands you in bed recovering from something that could have been provented in the first place. Going to the dr when you need to is something you will never look back and say to yourself ‘Now why did I go and waste my time on doing something like that!?’.

Ask yourself when you have a moment (I know…hard to find those), ask yourself…..why aren’t you taking time for yourself? Why am I putting off going to the dr? What am I afraid of?

I have found a few sites that talk about us (women) taking care of ourselves. Please feel free to check them out…you might find something that will be helpful for you. I also asked my readers when they take time for themselves. {Not many answered but here are the results from those that did}

~Everyday – 3 votes
~When I find the time – 1 vote
~Only when it becomes serious – 2 votes

Seems to me, from these results, that we need to start putting us first or we may regret it later. TAKE YOURSELF OFF THE BACK BURNER!

Websites that you might be interested in taking a look at about this topic:

~Speak without Interruption
~ About.com
~ Holly Baby
~ Sokhop
~Oprah

Please feel free to share anything that you would like on this topic. As always, your comments are always welcome & appreciated!

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8 thoughts on “Let’s talk about YOU!

  1. What a great post and so so so true! As a mom of 8 kiddies I am guily of not taking taking care of myself first many a times. It’s always the kiddies, the hubby when he is here and then the house, the laundry you name everything but me. I will try to take time out each day for at least a few minutes (even if it is only when I am in the washroom!) lol to try to stop, and listen to what my mind and body are telling me.

    • I completely understand & can relate to everything that you have said! I am so happy that you are going to try to find time for yourself! Hopefully you can upgrade from the washroom soon 😉 I am working on finding time to myself & also listening to my body. But we have to remember to not only listen to our body but also act on what it’s telling us. There is no sense to listen if we aren’t going to act on it. We (mothers) have to start putting ourselves first in order to serve our family better. Keep me updated on how things are going!

  2. SO TRUE! About every 3 months or so, my husband will look at me and say “You really need to do some things for yourself…you’re looking a little ragged!” Maybe I need to start doing it more often! (And, BTW, the Cross is free!)

    • Haha, I love his honesty! I think you should do it more often! Our pastor had a great message yesterday about resting. I didn’t know that’s what he was going to be talking about when I wrote this post. It definitely went hand in hand.

      Oh that’s awesome about the Cross! We will definitely have to go visit soon!

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