Working Mom vs SAHM

A friend of mine re-posted an article that was originally posted on ‘Shine’ from Yahoo. I usually read what the writer has to say about the 2 ‘different’ Moms. Most of the time (I can’t remember an article that got me too upset) I read the articles because they aren’t comparing rather explaining. It’s the comments that get me fired up!

I am NOT making this post to say that the working mom has it harder or the SAHM has it harder.  I don’t think any one mom has it harder than the other. If you are a PARENT then your life is hard. Money, job, education, race……..none of that matters! Being a parent is hard. No one prepares you for it. No one tells you how it really is. Most people just tell you all the good stuff. Everyone’s world is different & should NOT be compared to anyone else’s life. You can’t compare your life to anyone else’s. There are way to many variables. It would be like comparing apples & oranges…..you can’t – they are too different. It’s just like with people.

So instead of trying to ‘out do’ other mothers and trying to get sympathy (because in the end…that’s what you are looking for), why don’t you just embrace & have empathy for a follow mother (and\or parent). Why are you always trying to one up someone else?! Get over it. Life is hard no matter what! Just because you have  more on your plate doesn’t mean you have it worse off than someone else….just means that you are doing too much and maybe need to say ‘no’ to things so you aren’t running around looking like a chicken with your head cut off. I am so sick of hearing about this debate! I don’t understand why we can’t come together and support each other. Stop trying to get others to join your pity party by saying ‘I have it harder because…’

Final thought: BEING A PARENT IS HARD….PERIOD.

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8 thoughts on “Working Mom vs SAHM

  1. SO TRUE!!! My mom and I have this “debate” all the time. She had to work while I grew up, I get to be a SAHM. My mom often lists everything that a working mom has to do which is supposedly “harder” than what a SAHM does, and I usually listen and just nod my head because alot of the times the things she “had” to do sound so much better than what I “have” to do. lol Doesn’t matter what you do, like you said, having babies is sooooooo hard. Being around the children 24/7 is hard! I once heard that the “job” of a SAHM (if paid) would cost 250,000 a year because you have a constant maid, chouffer, chef, and nanny/tutor all in one! 🙂

    • It is hard! But you know what is funny? Looking back at my mom when I was growing up (she worked) I thought she was a great mother. Just recently she has told me that she felt like she was a pretty crappy mother. Don’t we (mothers) feel like that from time to time anyway!? We shouldn’t beat ourselves up because we don’t live up to some standard society puts on us. If my kids are happy & healthy at the end of the day….then my job is done.

      • Very true. I think every mom, working or not, feels like a bad mother at some point. I know I have my days, especially lately while being sick and in bed, I feel like a terrible mom for not getting up and playing wih my babies. I just have to remember that in order to be 100% for them, I HAVE to rest. 🙂

  2. That is so true & I think more and more moms are forgetting to take time to make sure we are healthy because we put ourselves on the back burner. I think you have sparked another blog post 😉

  3. Thanks so much for this! It is true in todays society everyone has to make sure that their “dick is bigger” and better so to speak. Whether you are a sahm or a wm it doesn’t matter – parenting is hard!

    • You are so welcome! It’s something that has bothered me for a long time & honestly something I struggled with. I thought SAHMs had it ‘harder’ than working mothers. But as I have grown up….it really doesn’t matter. Motherhood, fatherhood, parenting is hard work!

  4. I was a working mom for 7 years, and the second and 3rd year of that I was single. I’ve been a stay at home mom now for almost 3 years. I can say from both sides of the fence that they are both equally as hard, each with their own challenges! When I was working, it was balancing work/home, never having a clean house and always eating hamburger helper and feeling so exhausted by the end of the day I wanted to cry. These days, I’m cleaning, cooking, running a daycare from home, and wishing I could go potty alone, and STILL being so tired I want to cry. Neither one is harder than the other! I agree though. The comments on those articles make me want to scream!
    (And, I sold life insurance when I worked. Melissa, we DID tell mom’s that was the figure they were worth!)

    • I definitely have those days where I am so tired or mad or upset or whatever that I could just sit and cry. I think mothers underestimate what we all go through. No one has it easy….sometimes it’s just how you deal with it.

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