Guilt

I would find it hard to believe that anyone would say that they have never felt guilty before. Somewhere in our lives I think all of us have felt guilty about something we did and\or said to someone. But what about those unsaid words and those undid deeds? Have you ever felt guilty NOT doing\saying something to someone? Do you avoid them because of either of these things?

What about feeling guilty for not saying\doing something to someone who isn’t here. What do you do when you can’t say (unsay) and\or do (undo) things to people because they aren’t here anymore? Though I do not have the answer to these questions, I would like to open up to you about something.

{If you don’t view this like I do, don’t agree with me, or think that my views are stupid- then I ask you not to be hateful\hurtful if you leave comments. These are my thoughts\views and I deserve respect because of them.}

I have guilt. Kind of a big load of guilt. Now this is not towards anyone here on Earth. This is towards my Heavenly Father. I know that I can repent and ask for forgiveness but that just isn’t enough for me to have this guilt go away. I know that there is more that I can do. I don’t want to ask for forgiveness if I am not going to do anything afterwards to not repeat this. I also know what I need\want to do. These things include reading the Bible on a daily basis, praying, going to church, tithing, and really-honestly-and whole heartly giving my life over to God. I was saved in January 2007 but have not been baptized. The church that I belong to does not do this for adults, only children under the age of 1. That is by no means an excuse to not have it done because I know that there are churches in my area that do this for adults. I have just been lazy in finding one. I will not be baptized until I am fully ready to make that commitment. I see no reason to do so before hand.

I have a few close friends (less than 5) that I go to when I have questions about things that have to do with my faith. I think…no, I know that they will be honest with me and not tell me something to make me feel better. They tell me truth as it is written by God….not what the world thinks is right. I can feel the devil working in my life and know that he is trying to stop me from doing what I know I need to do. I have given in to him one too many times and I need to put my foot down and not let him enter my mind & thoughts. My life depends on me NOT letting him enter my mind and thoughts.

I know what I need to do and I plan on doing those things. I may get it wrong more than once but that’s the best thing about God….I can mess up, repent, and start all over again. There is a do-over button. I would rather mess up 1,000 times then not even try. I also want to say that if you are going through something similar to this, you are not alone! Reach out to someone you trust and has the same faith as you. You wouldn’t go to someone in debt to ask for help with your money issues. Don’t go to someone whos faith & views don’t line up with yours to help you with your walk of faith….it won’t work. I know that asking for help isn’t always easy- but it is a good thing and it will help you. Don’t be afraid of what others will think of you. No matter what you do and\or believe in life there will always be at least 1 person who is against you. That’s ok! Don’t let them determine how you will live your life because in the end you are the one that has to answer for your actions….not them.

A special thank you to J & M (they know who they are) for answering my questions and giving me truth. I love you both very much and cannot wait to grow in my faith with you both by my side. ❤

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