Do you have a friend, family member, co-worker, or anyone else in your life that keeps score between the two of you? If you don’t, you lucked out…if you do, you will understand this post!
I had a ‘friend’ who I thought we were very close (later came to find out that she wanted to try and ruin my life) that always kept score. I am not one to open up right away and it could take years to open up to someone, and she was the complete opposite. She opened up to anyone about anything, which is not my issue. My issue is that when she would tell me something that she doesn’t normally tell people, she would turn around and say something like ‘Well aren’t you going to tell me something?’. She would get mad because I didn’t open up the way she did. Would she say things like ‘Well I tell you tons of things and you have only told me one or two things’.
I wasn’t aware it mattered how much or how little we tell our friends. Is this what friendship is all about, keeping score? Who has time for that?! In my opinion, that’s not what friends do.
I think that people have such a distorted view on what a friend really is. A friend isn’t someone who keeps score, or brings you down, or creates drama in your life, or only supports you sometimes. You don’t have to agree with what someone is doing in order to support them. Friendship isn’t what you can get out of it. Friendship isn’t a one way street, you only want them around when you need something. Friendship isn’t saying, well if I do this then I am out that. Who cares?! They are your friend and you should treat them better than that. Now I am not talking big things but the small things that won’t matter tomorrow.
I just told a friend this tonight and I am going to tell you this too. This may sound cheesy, but I honestly do try and treat people the way that I want to be treated. If I wouldn’t want something done to me, why in the world would I turn around and do it to them? That just doesn’t make any sense to me. You are not better then the person next to you and nor should you treat them that way.
You pick friends because you have fun with them, they make you laugh, you have things in common, they are trust worthy, they are there for you, you are there for them, you make them laugh.
If you have a friend and everytime you finish a conversation with them or leave from hanging out with them, ask yourself this question, “Am I a better person because I was with them?” Or do you walk away asking yourself, “Why am I still friends with them?” No real friend should bring you down, make you feel bad about yourself, or blame you for the things that happened in their life from their actions. I am sorry but that is not a friend.
If you have a friend (or someone else in your life) that is keeping score with everything that goes on between the two of you……why are they still in your lives? Relationships aren’t about keeping score or trying to get something out of it. It’s about having a connection with someone and sharing everything about your life with them. I cannot stand people who keep score. I am not into playing games and I won’t do it just so I can call you my friend.